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Hummer H2

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  • I have written the perfect commercial for prospective Hummer Buyers as follows:

    Hummer: A Monument to Inefficiency

    Pile it on Baby Huey
    6400 lbs of overkill featuring a cast iron engine block, generous use of steel, iron, & other less expensive materials. With the exception of it’s wheels, you won’t find any stronger yet lighter aluminum here.
    However, when it’s time to replace those huge tires, shocks and brake pads, now that will cost you.
    What’s more, you will have to replace them often. After all, these components are underneath those 6,400 lbs of deadweight.

    Got G.I.T.?
    Genuine Ice Age Technology (G.I.T.)
    With a pushrod engine, two valves per cylinder, & a 1970’s four speed automatic transmission, you’re living large in the new Ice Age.
    Big on the outside, small on the inside. The Honda Odyssey has almost three times more cargo room, yet is over 2,000 lbs lighter.
    You can’t defy the laws of physics. A high center of gravity, useful in off-roading and a feature that most Hummer owners love to boast about, is guaranteed to deliver a poor ride/handling compromise (even though the typical Hummer owner spends over 90% of their time on paved roads.)
    Faster than a speeding Civic?
    Only in your wildest Hummer dreams. In the real world it’s not even close. The base model Honda Civic utilizing one of the weakest Honda engines available, runs away from the Hummer and is actually a full 2 seconds faster from 0 to 60.

    Do the D.I.P.
    Dinosaur Ice Age Package (D.I.P.)
    It’s standard on every Hummer. In fact, we don’t even publish the EPA mileage. You have to ask for it. We figure if you’re dinosaur dumb enough to buy a Hummer, you won’t even think about the gas mileage until it’s too late. Just like dinosaurs in the last Ice Age.
    When bitter cold clashes with dumb dinosaurs, cold wins every time. Likewise, when lots of cold hard cash falls into the hands of dumb, ignorant people (D.I.P.’s), Hummer buyers are created.
    Steering that is over boosted, and reptilian with little or no feel for the road.
    Routine handling is slow, awkward, and prodigious. Rollover is a distinct possibility when trying to pass the ever elusive Civic on a gentle, winding road.

    MAD C.O.W.S.
    Cost of Ownership With Surprises (C.O.W.S.)
    Enough to make you MAD after just a few months of refueling this thirsty beast.
    Insurance costs that jump over the moon. What you thought was a very safe vehicle, you soon find isn’t so safe. Accident avoidance is, well unavoidable. Not surprisingly, this 6,400 lb beast’s reaction times (stopping distances) are quite a bit longer than your average Civic‘s.
    Since Hummer bumpers don’t match up with most cars, much greater damage is inflicted upon them. Another surprise, this extra cost is included in the insurance premiums you (not the car owners) pay every day.
    Parking becomes a large and stressful task. Consequently, fender benders are more likely to occur and the average sized garage becomes much too small. Oops, another surprise.
    Depreciation that is poorer than most vehicles for sale in America today, including the Civic.
    Repair costs that are expensive and occur often. A bottom-of-the-line Kia Rio is actually more reliable than the Hummer according to the JD Powers August 2006 dependability study. Now this surprise really hurts.
    You’ve been H.A.D.
    Hummers and Dinosaurs (H.A.D.)
    Tiny brains. Huge appetites. Inseparable, conjoined by the tar pits of time. The true essence of Hummers and the people who buy them.
    Dinosaurs live yet again. Not in a cheap foreign movie, but lumbering down America’s highways & byways, heavily clad in multiple layers of assorted pig iron, plastic, glass, and rubber.
    Welcome to prehistoric automotive engineering, inspired by unionized Cavemen in the new Ice Age.

    Hummer, Oh What a Bummer!

    Steve from San Antonio
  • mac24mac24 Posts: 3,910
    H2/Honda Civic et al. comparison? Does the phrase "apples to oranges" spring to mind?
  • lou62lou62 Posts: 9
    Brilliant Steve! Damn funny and true.
  • steverstever Viva Las CrucesPosts: 41,309
    Yep, real dinosaurs. Guess that's why there are More Hummers coming. ;)

    Here's spy shots of the 2008 Hummer H3 pickup for example.

    Here's the follow up test on the 2007 Hummer H2 SUT.

    image

    Moderator
    Minivan fan. Feel free to message or email me - stever@edmunds.com.

  • occkingoccking Posts: 346
    I am a Hummer owner of H2 SUT for one day. Took delivery for acquantance of mine & Quebec & will deliver tomorrow for him. Probably one and only time in one of these. Is there a simple way of getting the trip computer showing so I can see how much gas this pig burns? I know it is a 32 gallon tank & will fill it tomorrow but I don't think 32 gallons will take me 360 miles to Montreal.

    I have read over some of the messages on this board, and that long one about a typical buyer of a monster like this seems right on.

    This unit came with special 20" wheels in stead of the normal 17 inch ones. Any comments on how this will affect the handling on the highway and during the winter in snow, as compared to 17 inch ones?

    Tomorrow will be the day I will probably get many obscene gestures from other driving more "normal" transportation.

    By the way, how does a price of $40,500 sound for this vehicle, an 05 SUT with 23,000 miles loaded with the special wheels, nav, some sort of "Voss" thingy under the hood that is supposed to pump more air (thus more gas as well I assume) all kinds of chrome lights on the top, bottom & sides, etc., etc. It had been repossed from a guy in NJ who bought the vehicle July 06 and either owed $65,000 for the vehicle at the time, or that was the balance due when it was repossed.

    Any comments would be appreciated.
  • mac24mac24 Posts: 3,910
    .......I don't think 32 gallons will take me 360 miles to Montreal.

    I would tend to agree. I'd aim to to take a pit stop around half way.

    This unit came with special 20" wheels in stead of the normal 17 inch ones. Any comments on how this will affect the handling on the highway and during the winter in snow, as compared to 17 inch ones?

    It's the tires that are important on adverse road surfaces, rather than the size of the wheels. I'd guess that they're some kind of 'bling' aftermarket add-on with very low profile street tires (and I'd drive accordingly).

    ......how does a price of $40,500 sound for this vehicle, an 05 SUT with 23,000 miles loaded......

    Probably about right. It's one of the few vehicles that customizing adds value to (the gaudier the better).
  • tidestertidester Posts: 10,109
    Hi, everyone. As you've probably noticed, we have been trying to refine the discussions into more narrowly focussed topics. Our objective is twofold. We want to make it easier for people seeking specific information about their vehicles to find it easily and without having to wade through hundreds or thousands of postings.

    To those ends, we will be shutting down the general make/model discussions and work exclusively with specific issues. This requires us to populate the make/model subsections with relevant, interesting and timely topics. Rather than having the hosts simply create boilerplate topics for each make/model, we feel that you, the owner, the make/model enthusiast and the prospective buyer can best judge what those topics should be.

    You can help by adding a discussion (it's easy!) or suggesting one here.

    To add a discussion, click on the last link in the "You are here" line at the top of this page. That will take you to the topic page for this make/model. Review the list of topics and click on the "Add discussion" link when you've decided what topic you'd like to add. Follow the directions and you're done! Feel free to add more than one. Just avoid duplicating existing topics and try not to make it TOO specific!

    Your help and continued participation in the Forums is greatly appreciated! Thanks.
  • tidestertidester Posts: 10,109
    Please go to the group top level and create a discussion that fits your comments/questions or post in an existing discussion.

    Hummer
  • tidestertidester Posts: 10,109
    Enjoy!

    tidester, host
  • steverstever Viva Las CrucesPosts: 41,309
    How about an SUV calendar?

    image

    link

    Moderator
    Minivan fan. Feel free to message or email me - stever@edmunds.com.

  • zman21zman21 Posts: 46
    What happened here? This thread surely died down.

    I just got a brand new '06 H2 with Lux & Sunroof. Dealer from SoCal.
    MSRP = $59,860
    Paid = $55,485 w/ 0% for 72 mos.

    Love it!
  • mac24mac24 Posts: 3,910
    This thread surely died down.

    Never mind, just be sure to take your new ride off-road now and again, you'll both love it!
  • Why so much? This is Edmunds TMV value on such a vehicle:

    2006 HUMMER H2
    4dr SUV 4WD (6.0L 8cyl 4A)
    What Others
    Are Paying

    MSRP Invoice
    National Base Price
    A note about advertising fees $52,980 $48,741 $49,492
    Regional Adjustment
    for Zip Code Change - - -$224
    Optional Equipment $5,790 $4,852 $4,969
    1SC Lux Series Equipment Group $4,240 $3,519 $3,609
    CF5 Power Glass Sunroof $1,550 $1,333 $1,360
    Color Adjustment - - -$54
    Black
    Destination Charge $875 $875 $875
    Total with Options $59,645 $54,468 $55,058

    Incentives & Rebates -$6,750
    Customer Cash Adjusted True Market Value $48,308
  • zman21zman21 Posts: 46
    Actually it's this:
    MSRP - Inv - TMV
    Base Price $52,980 $48,741 $49,492
    Regional Adjustment
    for Zip Code Change - - -$238
    Optional Equipment $6,005 $5,037 $5,154
    1SC Lux Series Equip $4,240 $3,519 $3,606
    CF5 Power Glass Sunroof $1,550 $1,333 $1,359
    V33 Tool Kit / First Aid Kit $215 $185 $189
    Color Adjustment - - $151
    Yellow
    Destination Charge $875 $875 $875
    Total with Options $59,860 $54,653 $55,434

    It's either Cash incentives OR the 0% for 72 mos. I chose the latter (free money). So I pretty much paid Edmund's TMV and they threw in free Gap ins. and 1 year free maintenance.
  • You said you purchased a new 06' for $55K? Your Edmunds post is for an 07' is it not? My price quote was based on an 06' model.
  • zman21zman21 Posts: 46
    It's for the leftover 2006s. The 2007s do not have 0% for 72 months.
  • Has anyone seen or have known of a Hummer H2 go uup in flames? My neighbor had a black one, and she went into a school to drop her child off for preschool and when she had come out of the building, her Hummer had decided to spontaneously combust. Now all that's left is a toasted chassis. Has anyone else heard of this happening? The car was off and in a parking spot.
  • caliberchiccaliberchic Posts: 402
    Saw this in Santa Monica this week...
    image
  • augustmaugustm Posts: 1
    Yes, my H2 went up into flames in January when I was stopped at a light. Any idea why this happened to your friend's vehicle?
  • I have a 06 H2 and my trailer wiring stopped working.
    The trailer works fine on another truck.
  • Anyone purchase an '07 lately? What are the specials? Is leasing still more attractive?

    Thanks.
  • andicandic Posts: 3
    Hello my name is Andi,

    I am a married woman in my 30's and feel the need to get me one of these BEAUTIFUL rides. I drive a Ford F150 with a 6" lift and 35" tires now. I have always liked HUGE vehicles. While I am not getting any yourger I want something with class, that still stands out. YES I am VIEN! I have been looking at either a 2006 or 2007 H2 SUT.

    Any comments on which one if any is the better vehicle?
    I just started my research on them, so all I know so far is ;) they arent a real get up and go vehicle and they are very thirsty(gas). My F150 gets about 14mpg so I think the gas issue won't be a real shock for me. My husband hates me for it but I have always told him...."I don't care what is costs if I look good in it!" LOL
  • andicandic Posts: 3
    Hey Steve,

    Just noticed you are in Boise Idaho!!!! I moved to Amarillo Texas 5 years ago from Hailey Idaho. I guess thats where i was first introduced to the Hummer. When I lived there I was all about the scouting on top of all the mountain tops for Elk and Deer. I love the outdoors. Where about in Boise do U live?
  • My Driver Information alerts me to 'Service 4WD'. After checking the owner's manual, it merely states 'Check fluid levels' for axles & transfer cases. Done, but the warning light still comes on periodically. Is there something else that needs attention ?
  • i have a 2003 hummer H2. on the left side shift handle is the CHROME PLASTIC THUMB KNOB, that u have to press to get the shifter in and out of PARK. the knob has a broke-off tab that locks it in the shifter handle, and i have to jiggle it to turn the KEY OFF. what is the correct part name for this little knob? it is a plastic cap that you can fit tip of your thumb into
  • mac24mac24 Posts: 3,910
    Shifter/ignition interlock button is as good a name as any.
  • I HAVE THE SAME EXACT ISSUE WITH MY 2006 H2 SUT, DOES ANYONE HAVE AN IDEA WHERE TO START?
  • mac24mac24 Posts: 3,910
    Try checking to see if the fluid level sensor is faulty.

    P.S. Please don't SHOUT!
  • tpolotpolo Posts: 1
    I want to change the fuel filters on my 2004 Hummer H2. I need instructions for this job.
  • There must be a place where you can find used hummers???

    I am not able to find one and that is why I am here.

    Thanks

    Jordan
    :sick:
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