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Dumb Ads

C13C13 Member Posts: 390
edited March 2014 in General
Here's a great one I saw tonight:

"Does not run, but burns oil."
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Comments

  • dhoffdhoff Member Posts: 282
    Love that one.

    The best one I ever saw was in the Milwaukee Journal in the mid or late Eighties. It was an ad from Capitol Import Autos for the Suzuki Samurai (remember, back when all the controversy started about them rolling over).

    It had a picture of a Samurai UPSIDE DOWN, with a headline that read "You'll FLIP over our prices!"

    I kid you not. I wish I would have cut it out and saved it.

    Dave
  • rapunzelrapunzel Member Posts: 15
    But are those dumb ads, or truth in advertising? ;-)
  • glengleglengle Member Posts: 57
    Check out the back of this month's Car and Driver. Good stuff there, too. Like a Civic ad bragging about having an "internal combustion engine, pneumatic tires, and much more!"
  • C13C13 Member Posts: 390
    Saw that. It's great. There's a Mercury Mistake for sale too.
  • ralph124cralph124c Member Posts: 36
    Remember when the GM "X" cars came out? They ran an ad showing an X car towing a trailor, without the rear wheels (on the car).
    Of course, they had a disclaimer on the bottom of the screen "DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS"...still wonder if some moron did imitate the ad, got killed, and then the widow tried to sue!
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    How about the ads that showed the Jeep charging through a mountain stream with water splashing up over the fenders...someone forgot to tell people that you aren't supposed to drive in water deep enough to get into your air cleaner....(water sucks into cylinders, piston comes up, tries to compress water, bends all the connecting rods).
  • C13C13 Member Posts: 390
    There's also the time-honored tradition of photographing the car at sunset driving about 30 - 40 mph through the waves at Daytona or some similar beach. Imagine all that salt water getting forced up into the rocker panels and doors and the sand helping to trap it there and hold it for a nice long while.

    I'd like to see that car 2 yrs later.
  • sunlinersunliner Member Posts: 36
    Does the abysmal spelling in common classifieds count? In particular, how many Buick "Rivera" or "Riveria" ads have you seen? What is a Chevy "Camero," anyway?

    I mean, if you can't remember what your car is, can't you just look out the window at the car? Chances are there's a big chrome badge on it somewhere that spells it out.

    I also love it when some seller puts in an ad that says something like, "excellent car, needs rear main seal."
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    or "completely original, new paint, interior"...

    How 'bout Nissan Pathfinder ad touting the new "monoframe construction"?...this of course, means no frame at all...it's a unibody rather than a separate body and frame that trucks usually have...so you're getting a passenger car body with "monoframe" construction...hey, that MUST be good...MONOFRAME...sounds sturdy, hah?

    or Honda Accords "effort-sensitive" power steering (actually means the variable-assist has been eliminated!)

    or the Camry's new "tripmeter"...what's that? A computer? No, it the little odometer reset button actually....but sounds good, doesn't it?
  • sunlinersunliner Member Posts: 36
    How about:
    "PS/PB/PW/PL/PM/AT/AC/AM-FM/CASS/4CYL/4SP/4DR"

    Sure, I know what they mean, but why unleash all of that on unsuspecting newspaper readers?
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    What's PL?
  • glengleglengle Member Posts: 57
    Locks, I would assume. The new one I've seen around here lately (Huntsville, AL) is TW. Tilt wheel, geez.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    Ah, of course, thanks...and AEK...oh, no, wait,that's all electric kitchen for apartment-hunting....

    how about "3rd owner"...gee, that's really great for a 1996 car....

    or on an older car----"excellent body, nds. floor pans, rockers..."

    or this one I saw--"must sell new baby"...
  • glengleglengle Member Posts: 57
    Mechanic's special. Be afraid, be very afraid.
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    How 'bout these:
    "Will run" or "ran when last parked" --5 years ago?
  • sunlinersunliner Member Posts: 36
    I saw one on Hemmings Motor News online: "Ran when parked 22 years ago."

    Well shoot, so did the Spruce Goose!!
  • C13C13 Member Posts: 390
    In fact it ran into the garage wall. That's when I decided to park it.
  • bcathcartbcathcart Member Posts: 54
    1969 MGB no engine,gearbox,or wheels,interior fire damaged,complete otherwise,fast classic in restorable condition,be quick,£12000.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    Ah, yes, the old "ready for restoration" catchphrase....well, aren't we all?
  • stickguystickguy Member Posts: 50,507
    not actually an ad, but in the Edmunds review of the Volvo S70AWD, they said "the average owner is 50% male and 50% female". take that however you want to.

    2020 Acura RDX tech SH-AWD, 2023 Maverick hybrid Lariat luxury package.

  • C13C13 Member Posts: 390
    That's the way I see Volvo owners too.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    Hmmmm....I thought people like that only drove Maserati Bi-Turbos...
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    Yeah, but--the logo right on the hood of every Volvo is the symbol for male-so what does that mean?
  • C13C13 Member Posts: 390
    I thought it was a symbol for The Who.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    Actually, it's the geophysical map symbol for Iron.
  • cobra98cobra98 Member Posts: 76
    The ads that I always hate is when they claim only x/month or x total and then there is the real tiny print that says "with 7K down/trade". Duh... Hell a Lamborghini is only 149/month (with enough down/trade ;-)
  • cobra98cobra98 Member Posts: 76
    then there's the ad that ends with "won't last". I always wonder if they're talking about the sale or the car itself....
  • badgerpaulbadgerpaul Member Posts: 219
    I've always liked the tag line "No Dealers Please." Suggesting that their price is below what other dealers would pay for the car. Just how stupid do they think people are?
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    I like the old "estate sale" trick....oh, quick! the senile widow Wilson is selling that Jaguar XKE roadster for $300.......pul-eese!
  • spokanespokane Member Posts: 514
    "Only 34,000 original miles....."

    I don't know what an "original mile" is but this clever phrase causes me to wonder how many "non-original" miles are also involved.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    It's been my experience so far that 9 or 10 low mileage claims can't really be documented...they may be true low miles, but there's no proof, so I say why pay extra for that claim.

    Peter Egan in the latest Road and Track brings up the subject of 'highway miles'....true, they are often less destructive to a car than city miles, but sellers advertise 'highway miles' as if they weren't miles at all...."215,000 highway miles"-----gee, hardly broken in!
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    Yeah right-here's another "weasel clause" I've noticed when it comes to advertising original miles. Only 34,000 original miles [since restoration]."All original" might mean "all new old stock." I saw one of these last weekend [a '46 Chevy] that was obviously all redone inside, that claimed to be "all original" and "46,000 original miles." On the other hand, there was also a '41 Oldsmobile coupe' that had a documented 34,000 original miles. And I mean, it WAS original. The original grey lacquer paint was wearing thin in spots, the interior was completely original, and the flathead six motor ran like new. The underhood area also looked authentic and original.
  • sunlinersunliner Member Posts: 36
    We just sold a '98 Intrigue with 18,000 "original miles." Probably 16,000 of them were going back and forth to the dealership for repairs on that P.O.S. of a car. Original miles doesn't mean much, you're right.
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    So-the old Intrigue went down the road finally-I remember you were really torqued about it. I'm curious though-what were the problems you had? I have a friend who's interested in one, and I told him to wait.
  • sunlinersunliner Member Posts: 36
    Check out the "Oldsmobile Intrigue" topic in Sedans, #1569. Also, the archived topic #66 in Sedans, "Oldsmobile Intrigue: Long Term Test" if I remember right. I ranted a lot, and so did a lot of other people.

    The short form of our troubles is this, though: Bad Instrument Cluster; Bad Body Control Module; Faulty Wire on the starter; Sagging Door; Right Front Suspension Bent before we got it -- Which led to the ABS quitting, a bearing blowing out, a tire blowing out; Transmission Shudders; Humongous driveline slack; Terrible base radio; Always out of alignment; Tires always out of balance; At 18,000 miles, the tires were bald and the brakes were squealing their "warning peg."

    I understand that Intrigues are better now, and that we had a very early build-date model that'd sat on a lot for a long time. Still, though...
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    Was this "your father's Oldsmobile", as the ad says.....?

    Have you noticed that the Olds logo doesn't even appear on the Alero...I wonder if this make is scheduled for the shelf...
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    Saw these ads in the national Auto Trader:

    "47 Hudson-nicest anywhere-flawless gray stripped interior.....
    1960 Rolls-120" stretched limo--hide-a-bed-will sacrifice for $175,000....
    '56 Dodge-205,000 original miles-runs..needs oil pump....what?
    '64 Plymouth Fury III 4dr.[no such model in '64]
    "Rare-one in five made--426 Wedge Hemi--$40,000??!! What's a "Wedge Hemi?" I think from the picture{which showed a belvedere,no chrome 4dr with Fury chrome around the windows] and the ad, that this was a completely counterfeit car-and a bad one at that...
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    The guy is seriously confused...people often do confuse the wedge with the hemi because they have the same cubic inches and horsepower ratings.

    The 426 Hemi was only avaliable in 1964 as an engine only, in a crate, for competition use, for $1,800 in the box...so if there really is one in that Fury, it was installed after the factory built the car...I'd imagine he'll have a hard time getting $40K for it, but on the other hand if it's a real hemi from 1964 and the car has a competition history perhaps, who knows....? Given the info we have here, the whole thing sounds a bit shakey.
  • sunlinersunliner Member Posts: 36
    Not my father's Oldsmobile. More like my mechanic's Oldsmobile. It has the Olds emblem on the hood, and the word "Intrigue" on the trunk. that's it. The '99's have a little 1/4" tall "Oldsmobile" badge stuck on the trunk now.

    "Start Something" is the campaign. Yeah, start your tab with the towing company.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    I have a very early Oldsmobile ad in my files, from 1903 I think, and it says something like

    "It Will Get You There"

    back then, most ads stressed reliability...the idea of a car as one's personal expression was at least 10-15 years off, and the idea of enacting some sort of fantasy with an automobile probably not until ads for the Jordan Playboy, in the 1920s.
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