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Total Beaters
I'd like to relate a story on the most total
beater that I've ever encountered, luckily it
wasn't used on the street.
In the summer of 1975 I got a job working in a
summer camp, which is where I encountered the "Mud
Puppy". When I first saw it in the back of a barn
I didn't believe that it even ran. It was a 1965
Ford F-250 4x4. There was no sheet metal forward
of the cab except the hood. That's right, no
headlights, no bumper, no grill, no fenders, just
the hood. The box was mostly rust, the exhaust
system consisted of about a 2 foot length of pipe
after the exhaust manifold, no electrics worked
except for the ignition. The parking brake didn't
work, we threw a log in front of the front tires to
keep it from rolling, the starter didn't work, you
had to park it at the top of a hill, then get
rolling downhill to start it. And yes, more than
once it went down the hill sans driver. But this
vehicle was a favorite with the regular members of
the camp who painted it up every year by brush in a
different paint scheme. It actually ran pretty
good only having 30,000 miles showing on the clock.
It had a 300 cid inline six, 4 speed with granny
low and about 6 to 1 axle ratios. In top gear with
the transfer case in 2 HI it would max out at
about 45 mph. In 1st gear in 4 LO you just let
your foot off the clutch and she would do about 3
mph at redline. We used it to pull down a few
trees.
We mainly used it for hauling trash to the back
forty for burning. The exhaust was so loud that
you could hear it running anywhere where you were
in the 120 acre camp. We used to wash it in the
lake by driving it in until the water was just
about up to the floorboards. It had the original
7.50-16 split rim tires and good ground clearance
so we ran it pretty hard sometimes. Used to race
it against horses in the open fields. I heard that
it was sold for $100 to somebody who used it haul
firewood.
beater that I've ever encountered, luckily it
wasn't used on the street.
In the summer of 1975 I got a job working in a
summer camp, which is where I encountered the "Mud
Puppy". When I first saw it in the back of a barn
I didn't believe that it even ran. It was a 1965
Ford F-250 4x4. There was no sheet metal forward
of the cab except the hood. That's right, no
headlights, no bumper, no grill, no fenders, just
the hood. The box was mostly rust, the exhaust
system consisted of about a 2 foot length of pipe
after the exhaust manifold, no electrics worked
except for the ignition. The parking brake didn't
work, we threw a log in front of the front tires to
keep it from rolling, the starter didn't work, you
had to park it at the top of a hill, then get
rolling downhill to start it. And yes, more than
once it went down the hill sans driver. But this
vehicle was a favorite with the regular members of
the camp who painted it up every year by brush in a
different paint scheme. It actually ran pretty
good only having 30,000 miles showing on the clock.
It had a 300 cid inline six, 4 speed with granny
low and about 6 to 1 axle ratios. In top gear with
the transfer case in 2 HI it would max out at
about 45 mph. In 1st gear in 4 LO you just let
your foot off the clutch and she would do about 3
mph at redline. We used it to pull down a few
trees.
We mainly used it for hauling trash to the back
forty for burning. The exhaust was so loud that
you could hear it running anywhere where you were
in the 120 acre camp. We used to wash it in the
lake by driving it in until the water was just
about up to the floorboards. It had the original
7.50-16 split rim tires and good ground clearance
so we ran it pretty hard sometimes. Used to race
it against horses in the open fields. I heard that
it was sold for $100 to somebody who used it haul
firewood.
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Comments
BTW, that 300 Ford six is one of the strongest, long lasting engines ever made. Maybe even better than a slant six in those years.
Be advised that there is a sub-species of driver that lives to drive advanced beaters into the ground, then abandon them by the side of the road. I ran across one when I was selling a particularly rough '66 Chevy. The guy really thought he was beating the system. I wonder what it did to his social life.
They borrowed their dad's new video camera and hooked it up to a VCR they took outside and all three got sledgehammers and beat the car till they couldn't lift the hammers up anymore! Other than lots of glass everywhere, it was a fairly clean kill. They called the junkyard, and they came out with a big flatbed that took it away. The last scene is the truck fading from view and the three brother's "crying". It's great!
This guy complained about everything, even to the police, and they said there was nothing they could do, as long as everything was legally tagged. However, there was another '68 Dart parked on the next street over, that had the dash pulled apart and the steering wheel resting on the seat. That guy got a warning sticker. There was also a mid-80's Grand Marquis and mid-80's Grand prix that also got warnings.
Oh well, I used to have a '69 Bonneville and a '67 Newport parked out there, so at least my "spare" cars are taking up less space!!
-Andre
Then I got into real estate and found out what I'd been doing to neighborhood property values.
Andre, it sounds like you've got it under control. Your cars have tags, they're driveable and they don't just accumulate like dead leaves.
But there are plenty of clueless gearheads out there taking money out of their neighbors' pockets. And yeah, driving a beater just to say "up yours" to your neighbor is just plain weird.
One good thing about having all those cars though...my Intrepid just went into the shop, and so did my roommate's Tracker. So we just broke out the Gran Fury and my grandmother's LeSabre. I don't drive the Dart much, because it needs new ball joints...just up and down the street and to the gas station every once in awhile. I may start it tonite...we finally had a break in our cold spell, and I didn't want to start it while it was bitter cold.
-Andre