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I'm a Highlander owner who test drove an RX 300 once. The two have almost an identical ride, with the slight difference that the Highlander feels larger, more like a wagon, while the RX 300 has a more compact feel, more like a buggy. Even though both have the same size engine, because the Highlander is a little bigger, its engine has a slightly underpowered feel whereas this wasn't the case with the more compact RX 300. Thus I think it's good that the RX 330 will have a larger engine. The forgoing may give you a feel for what you may expect the difference in ride to be between the 300 and the 330.
You'll have to go with your gut feel on this one. I don't think there are any extremely compelling reasons that would make the choice of either vehicle a bad one. Think of the RX 300 as a smaller version of the RX 330.
Other random thoughts:
1. My impression is that the RX 300 looks more feminine than the RX 330.
2. You'll have to educate yourself on the specific features of the two vehicles to see if any of the new features of the RX 330 are critical to you.
3. With time the RX 300 may become perceived as an older-style vehicle when compared with the newer, more current RX 330.
4. Ask your wife to see which one she likes more.
If it were me, I'd choose the RX 330, but that's only because I'm a guy and the RX 300 looks like something someone's wife should be driving.
(For any Highlander die-hards out there, of whom I am one, even though I said the V6 engine has a slightly underpowered feel, I maintain non-the-less that the engine is more than gutsy enough for all but the most extreme of competitive driving conditions (like if you're trying to race a charger).)
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