Nissan Sentra 2005 - Won't turn off

unclescout86unclescout86 Member Posts: 1
edited December 2014 in Nissan
So, today (12/10/14) I got into my car to drive to work and it wouldn't "turn on." Thought it was weird, Sleepy me probably didn't even register every single damn light was on, I figured it was the battery. G/F and I tried jumping it but our cables are crap.

So I called AAA and this really awesome guy (Kenny) showed up.

I offered him Hot Chocolate but I guess he's trying to lose weight so he declined (despite the fact that it was actually some real high-grade hot chocolate made with steamed milk, none of that swiss miss crap).

He restarted the battery with legit jumper cables and then told me the car wasn't turning off. This naturally surprised me.

What he meant (and I'm sure I don't have to explain this to most of you, but just in case) was the battery, not the engine would not shut off. Though later it's the engine -- stay with me here.
So he tells me that I got something going on. The output for the car they'd like to see is like .08 or .80 or something, and the little paper tells us my battery is doing like 4.037.

Kenny: "That's a lot of damn power being taken, and I don't see where the hell it's coming from."

SO I call out of work and I head to Simpson's AutoCare where I've had my cars worked on for about four years now. Reliable but slow. S'far as I'm concerned, slow gets cars done right, so whatever.

So Kevin and company work on my car for like 4 hours and they call me only to tell me they can't figure out what the hell it is.

They assumed it was the ignition and changed it. It wasn't.

They assumed it was power output from car lights (internal or otherwise) or maybe the old cigarette lighter I use to charge my phone.
NOPE.

He said they're damn confused (and he almost sounds pissed about it). Then the kicker:

Kevin: "A couple of times when we turned the ignition to off, instead of just the battery staying on the whole engine would keep running. You got some real [non-permissible content removed] messed up electrical work going on here."

So he tells me I have to take it to a place to get the computer/electronics/wiring looked at 'cause they can't do it, not at the affordable rate that I need.

At this point I'm as confused as Mark Wahlberg was when taking directions from M. Night Shyamalan in "The Happening."

So before I drive this stupid car to somewhere that charges me up and around my butt for it, I'd like to get some advice.

What in the heck is going on here?

I tried Googling it (hence coming here).

While I understand (and can appreciate) that some of you are going to be frustrated with me on this, but I'm sorry I just don't speak "car." After googling for two and a half hours, I am no further than I was before. In fact I think I'm at more of a loss than ever.

As of right now I'm unplugging my fuse with pliers every time I turn my car off so it doesn't drain my battery (and popping it back in to drive).

I have NO IDEA what's wrong with this thing and I'm sort worried I spent a good chunk of cash on a crap car.

I have more backstory about how I came into possession of this car, but the short version is I bought it used and (supposing your advice offers that this is a smart decision) I can maybe get it back to him and get a better one with this problem happening less than 6 months out of the gate of owning it.

I've been told:

"BAD short somewhere on the wires (if it isn't on wires then it's base of ignition switch). I know my way around cars but hard to say anything other than the cheap'n'slow -shop isn't doing their job even close. You DO NOT replace any parts just by quessing."

"I had a Durango that had weird electrical problems. No one could figure it out. A guy told me to change the computer. 300 dollars and 10 min"

If no engine light, then get a DVOM, with vehicle completely off, go through the engine fuses, removing them one by one and test the volts. Once you find your spike, go through that system with a test light until you find your short. Replace that part."

What're your thoughts?

PLEASE! Any advice would help! Even advice on where to get better pliers!

AGH!
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