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Quintessential Mid 90's Loser Cars
OK, here's a strange request from an old college friend who's a writer. He's working on a script and he called me to try and come up with a car from the mid 90's that just the mere mention of brings to mind thoughts like "loser, you're still driving THAT?" etc. Not necessarily an ugly car, but one that if you were, say, instant messaging with someone you were trying to impress, and they asked, "What do you drive?" and you said X, they would immediately sign off.
I figure more than a few people here will have a few nominees :P
I figure more than a few people here will have a few nominees :P
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Heck, you still get a Yugo in that time frame.
And he's looking for something that instantly brings an image to the mind of the general population, not just an "enthusiast"
Give me a bit here...
Anyone remember the VERY cheap and quick-to-fall-apart Mercury Capri convertible?
2014 Mini Cooper (stick shift of course), 2016 Camry hybrid, 2009 Outback Sport 5-spd (keeping the stick alive)
In later years, I started to associate the Neon with financial catastrophe, mainly because I knew a few people who fell on money problems, and it seemed like they'd always end up wtih a Neon! And, I gotta admit, at one point when I was still under water from a bad marriage, one night my '68 Dart died on me while on a pizza delivery run, and I got so fed up with it I asked my grandmother that night if she'd co-sign for me on a loan for a new Neon!
How about that weird space ship-looking Mercury Cougar? I'd throw in the Ford Probe which was an effeminate alternative to the Mustang.
One I definitely nominate is the Cadillac Catera. Bland design that looks like a Lumina, questionable reliability, and a super-stupid marketing campaign.
I didn't care much for those "two-door Lumina" Monte Carlos of the time.
Don't know if I call them losers, but Infiniti had a pretty confused identity back then while Lexus whipped its butt. J30, M30, G20?
Too bad I didn't know that my credit was whack...cuz now I'm drivin' off the lot in this cheap sub-com-pact!
Sorry, but I think Freecreditreport.com took away whatever little bit of dignity the Metro might have ever had.
A cool convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack,
So I'm driving off the lot in a used subcompact!
F-R-E-E, that spells "free"
Credit Report dot com, baby!
Saw their ads on my TV -
Thought about goin', but was too lazy!
So instead of rollin' fly and lookin' phat,
My legs are stickin' to the vinyl and my posse's getting laughed at!
F-R-E-E, that spells "free"
Credit Report dot com, baby!
2023 Mercedes EQE 350 4Matic / 2022 Ram 1500 Bighorn, Built to Serve
The Tercel might fall into this catagory though. An awkward name to boot.
You sure got that right about the Metro. Of course, it didn't exactly have cachet to being with! :-P
2014 Mini Cooper (stick shift of course), 2016 Camry hybrid, 2009 Outback Sport 5-spd (keeping the stick alive)
2014 Mini Cooper (stick shift of course), 2016 Camry hybrid, 2009 Outback Sport 5-spd (keeping the stick alive)
In the later years, you could get a 3.0 V-6 in the Tempo. I think it was just the 140 hp pushrod "Vulcan" from the Taurus (and Ranger?), but I guess in something like a Tempo it was pretty quick. And they offered it with a stick, where it was rated at 21/28. Automatic was 20/23, again, stuck with a 3-speed. Oddly, in a bigger, heavier Taurus it was rated 20/29, but the Taurus had a 4-speed automatic.
I wonder what would be considered a bigger embarrassment to drive nowadays...a Corsica or a Tempo? I traditionally tend to prefer GM over Ford, but this one's a hard call!
By the mid-90s you were just starting into that point where it was difficult to buy an awful car but folks here are certainly proving it wasn't quite there yet.
BUT:
Another contender, in my mind, would be the Saturn SL-1- a geeky sort of loser. Particularly if the guy keeps talking about how wonderful it is and how friendly those Saturn people are! Maybe even goes to the Saturn Family picnic....alone, and likes to bang on the plastic doors to show people how tough they are.
Early Saturns and often their owners are especially geeky. Cars for people who hate cars, as I have always said.
I think another part of all this is condition - one of these cars that the owner neglects is a lot more loserfied than a nice example. A hubcapless trashed Neon or Geo is hard to beat when it comes to a bad image.
And I was never quite sure what to think of somebody who was single who drove one of the "Dustbusters"!
However, it's too bad that he can't driver a car that's about 10 or 12 years old.... because then he could drive the Ultimate IMHO Loser Car -
The AMC Rambler Matador Barcelona!
Boss, my eyes! my eyes!
In her defense her ex bought the first one and she just kept driving it until it died at which point her ex's dad and stepmother gave her the second one. Any prort in a storm I guess.
If they'd called it something else, I probably wouldnt've have even given the car a second thought. But dragging a time-honored name through the mud like that, is just too much!
The Quattroporte, a very impressive looking car, gave the Biturbo a good run for the money on reliability. The third generation of that model was introduced in '95.
2023 Mercedes EQE 350 4Matic / 2022 Ram 1500 Bighorn, Built to Serve
I used to drive by a house on my way to work that had one of these in the driveway.
Mechanically, they weren't terrible, just very basic and probably a little below average on reliability and durability. One area of vulnerability was head gaskets, which sometimes or often (not sure which is more accurate) failed prematurely.
Finally, the shift linkage on the 5-speed manual transmission had a really flimsy, imprecise, unsatisfying feel to it.
To summarize, the Shadow and Sundance were period K-car derivatives that sold in decent numbers and delivered satisfactory service to many motorists with modest expectations.
The Ford Tempo was mentioned in this discussion, but whatever was said about the Tempo also applied to its badge-engineered Mercury counterpart, the Topaz.
2023 Mercedes EQE 350 4Matic / 2022 Ram 1500 Bighorn, Built to Serve
As for the @#^@#%$^ Daewoo LeMans....
I'd been out of the country for some years and was back in the states on a business trip. Got to the rental counter about 11 pm, and the girl at the desk, told me, "We have a brand new Pontiac LeMans for you this evening, sir". I had no idea about the Woo-Mans and so, remembering the 60's and 70's said, "Oh good!".
I think the withering look that she gave me had "Looooooooser!" written all over it.
I like to think I redeemed myself in her eyes -a little at least- when I came back in and told her that there weren't any LeMans in the lot - just some tiny little economy cars. She had to come out and show me the car. Then I got in and the headlight knob came off in my hands. I hated GM very much at that moment.
LeMans! That @#%@# car was more of a shopping cart than a LeMans racer. GM insulted us all. :mad:
Real LeMans:
Cheap Korean Imitation LeMans
My neighbor had one of the POS Daewoo versions in a hatchback. That thing was retired around 40k because it was that bad. :sick:
The Aveo isn't much better IMO and probably just as safe. Wonder how the Cruze, Allure or Spark are going to fare. Daewoo finest.
Mine: 1995 318ti Club Sport-2020 C43-1996 Speed Triple Challenge Cup Replica
Wife's: 2021 Sahara 4xe
Son's: 2018 330i xDrive
lemko has a real winner (loser) with that Spectrum! Looks like just the ticket!
But does anyone remember. . .
Chevy Corsica? (Can't believe no one has mentioned it yet!)
Dodge Dynasty?
(House drives one of those, when he's not on his motorcycle)
Olds Cutlass Ciera?
Chevy Celebrity--especially in "Eurosport" trim?
Suzuki Sidekick?
Suzuki X90?
Corsica was pretty miserable though, IMO. The gov't agency I work for used to have a few of them, but I think they're retired now. We also had an (under)Achieva...picked up 5 of them for $65K total back around 1997 or so. I think it's gone now as well. We recently got a Ford Fusion though, and I heard rumors of a Malibu. I drove the Achieva a couple times, and I think I had to drive the Corsica once.
For some odd reason, the Die-Nasty appeals to me a bit, although I actually prefer the New Yorker, which looks like a pint-sized, and oddly less-aerodynamic-looking version of 79...
Dunno if I'd actually seek out a Die-Nasty or one of these little NYers, but I guess if I had a great-great aunt who passed away and willed it to me, I wouldn't turn it down.
The Dynasty reminds me of my pick for the Dodge Spirit / Plymouth Acclaim. However, that Suzuki X90 thing is just awful! As for the Ciera... I'm with Andre on this one, they aren't too bad.
2023 Mercedes EQE 350 4Matic / 2022 Ram 1500 Bighorn, Built to Serve
Speaking of Luminas, dunno if I'd call them loser cars, but I never liked 'em. The styling just looked too disjointed, and the interiors just seemed crappy. The coupe doesn't look bad, though. Actually, maybe that's why the styling of the sedan looks so awkward...it's almost as if they designed the coupe first, and then did the sedan as an afterthought. That might make sense too, since the Grand Prix/Cutlass Supreme/Regal came out in 1988, as a coupe only, and then the sedans were sort of haphazzardly thrown together for 1990, same year the Lumina came out.
For some reason though, the Acclaim/Spirit don't bother me too much. I wouldn't be ashamed to drive one, I guess. I mean, I wouldn't drive one to work and expect everyone to come out and see Andre's latest old car. I guess they're just sort of nondescript, IMO. One of my relatives, who had a 1986 Dodge 600, traded that car for either an Acclaim or Spirit, but she didn't have it long, and then traded it for a Crown Vic.
I guess my point with those two are that by the mid 90s they were already old designs, blah and poor performers. I still a fair amount of them especially base model 4cyls. I guess that Mopar 2.5 was a good little motor. Most of the upscale ones with the Mitsu 3.0 are blowing smoke everywhere when I see them.
2023 Mercedes EQE 350 4Matic / 2022 Ram 1500 Bighorn, Built to Serve