Ugliest Cars of All Time

fezo · October 1999

with the hood up - I'll see if I can do better.
Hope you've eaten.....

fezo · October 1999

Had apicture there but now all I get is a dud shot. I'll try again later - after Shifty's lunch!

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

I am SOOOO disappointed...when I saw that red X I thought I was in a "No Marlin Zone".

fezo · October 1999

Hope you've had lunch....

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

URP!

Thank you, fezo, for the post...now at least I've been reminded that my prejudices were not in vain.

fezo · October 1999

Hey, Shifty -

How's this for awful?

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

Oh, now WAIT A MINUTE...that's a Saab 92 or 93, and it's a pioneering auto from a war-ravaged Europe...a classic....a gem....a championship rallye car....and...and...oh, god, you're right...it IS ugly....never noticed that before.....

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

Speaking of ugly (we were, weren't we?) can you find a photo of the Daimler SP250 Sportscar?

fezo · October 1999

Well I got lucky here, actually..... but here's your Daimler. By the way, no argument on all the nice things you say about that Saab. I like Saabs a lot, but ya gotta admit.....

fezo · October 1999

I've read more than once that a key component of teh dramatic failure of the Edsel was the fact that it was aimed at the slightly upscale market when people were just discovering compact cars. The argument goes that if they had released it as a compact that it would have made it.

I give you the 1960 Plymouth Valiant. Now Valiants weren't bad cars (though our 60 wagaon was pretty awful), but do I see Chrysler taking significant Edsel styling cues here or what???

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

I think what we generally perceive as "ugly" is a factor of really botched up lines...in other words, the car's lines make no sense and collide all over the place. Now that little Saab we just saw, while not beautiful, does have to my eye a real harmony of line and a nice proportion...possibly just the grillwork doesn't quite fit the rest of the car.

But the Edsel is a mess...it has styling cues going every which way. It looks like a Christmas tree decorated by patients in an lunatic asylum.

To me, the Valiant is more like the Saab...again, not really beautiful, but it more or less makes sense....at least I see what they were TRYING to do.

That Daimler...what a ghastly nosejob! What were they thinking, especially with that long heritage of very tastefully done British grillework one finds on so many classic British cars. How could they ignore all that history and come up with that...that THING...?

fezo · October 1999

I agree completely! You can see what you're talking about in both the Saab and the Valiant. What struck me about te Valiant is the grill - coming as it did only 2 years after the Edsel fiasco.

By the way, another funny Edsel thing - look at the what they did over the brief life span of that car - kept bringing it closer to mainstream styling while losing the bigger engines and such that were the few reasons to actually buy the things. The 58's with the bigger engines were fast cars! By 59 the design elements were tamer but the speed was gone. By the brief '60 model year you couldn't distinguish an Edsel from a Pontiac and it had no performance at all. Unlike some of the previous cars we've discussed I don't think Ford ever had a bit of a clue as to what they really wanted to do with the Edsel.

I still toy with picking one up only because of historic signifigance and more so novelty value. You can certainly get one cheap enough!

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

Yeah, another one of those hyped-up "Sure to be a classic!" cars that never made it.

I think it's quite difficult if not impossible for a truly unattractive car to ever become a treasured classic...more of a curiosity at best, or a "poor man's classic" like old VWs. I think this is also why 4-door versions of old cars are so much lower in value than their hardtop or convertible counterparts...they just aren't attractive, with a few notable exceptions that no one cares about, like the 1965 Corvair 4-door hardtop (can we post a photo of that?---lovely car, and I think personally the best styled 4-door hardtop I've ever seen.

fezo · October 1999

Like this? Boy, I hate to post this picture in this topic, but we know what we're talking about..

BTW - Shifty, if I ever buy a Corvair I hold you resposible.... You've reawaked interest in a fine old car.

fezo · October 1999

No wonder this is a 4-door you like - no pillar! A 4-door coupe if you will.....or I guess a 4-door
hardtop.

Gotta admit, though - it's a great looking car!

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

It sure is....you know, you could just put in the modern headlight system and that car would look pretty darn good in a 1999 new car showroom...and it's a 34-year-old design.

Ah, there's the proof...the best designs are "timeless", in that they look good 20-30-40 years later.

Shiftright's Rule of Thumb for predicting if a car will have a timeless design"

Imagine the car in question in a wrecking yard with the wheels off...if the body STILL looks good, it's probably timeless...(e.g., 1970s Alfa GTV...it's just "right" somehow).

Examples of once-popular designs not aging well:

Late 70s Corvette coupes
70s Japanese cars (240Z excepted)
French cars in general
Late 50s American cars (collected for their outrageousness, not their beauty, I think).

OKAY....here's a tough one for fezo the wizard. Can you find us an NSU Ro80? (1976)The reason I ask is because this car (the first production rotary engined car by the way) was EXTREMELY influential in both European and American sedan design, even to the present day. Look for strong influence on later cars like the first Taurus, most Audis (including the new TT!) the late 80s Peugoet 505. The Ro80 was another car where all the styling elements "work together" and which could easily sit in a 1999 showroom with a few updates.

fezo · October 1999

I'm with you on those designs that didn't hold up.
By the late 50's I think Detroit was chromed out. All they could think of was to throw it around and it looked a mess.

French cars? It's amazing when you look at how many Ciroens - cars people don't even normally think about - turn up on people's lists of ugly cars.

And you're right on that Corvair - very little modification and it fits right in.

On to the NSU - we actually had a guy selling these just down the hill from us when they were around. Is this your car? Kinda grainy and all...

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

Gee, thanks...where are you finding these pix so quickly? Is your library as big as mine?

Whoa! We gotta get some bigger sway bars on that Ro80!

fezo · October 1999

Now if I actually told you it might take some of teh fun out of it, but I will tell you that I don't even have a scanner - I'm finding them by noodling around on the Net. One source that I'll reveal right off - Hemmings Motor News. I find somebody selling one that has a picture of whatever and cut and paste it on in. This hasn't always worked as in teh case of the NSU - nobody had a picture of one foe sale. Actually nobody was selling an Ro80! May have to go and grab some ugly ones again - the Amphicar is certainly a classic in that category......

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

Okay, let's both go look for some uglies...in the meantime, maybe someone else has some good suggestions/observations?

fezo · October 1999

This...

="http://www.hmn.com/hemmings/searches/images/SEN3352P.jpg">

or this...

of course there's always...

Just what I always wanted - the ability to go duck hunting without leaving the car.... (if I were ever going duck hunting....)

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

No, I think that's an anti-aircraft battery from a 1950s Civil Defense film...we would have knocked the Russians out of the sky.

bubukitty · October 1999

Thanks for posting the great pictures. Really adds a new sense of reality to the postings on this site. The Diamler SP 250 was my choice awhile back on this post of one of the ugliest cars of all time. Your picture of it really helps those out there who were trying to envision the ugliness see it up close and personal. How about a picture of the Trabant? That is one ugly monkey!

fezo · October 1999

Glad to oblige. Ugly cars are fun - besides we have ou obligation to warn the world!!

Here your Trabant....might be ugly but they made up for it with amenities, performance and enviromental friendliness......(BTW, they don't come with a gas gague - shades of eraly VW!)

http://www.solcon.nl/vml/icons/p50.jpg">

fezo · October 1999

fezo · October 1999

Except it's still a Trabant. May have contributed more to the fall of Communism than Lech!

fezo · October 1999

That beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This fella has a web site on the 10 most beautiful and teh 10 ugliest of the 2000 cars www.drewlarson.com/topten.html

He lists this fine Jaguar as "the blending of art and machine." and ranks it #8 as most attractive.

Now to me this looks like the Edsel folk are still working at Ford (it's still that calling attention to the center of the grill thing...).

Don't get me wrong - this is a nice car, but I don't give any points for beauty here. Comments on this or any others on the list?

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

It's okay...it is derivative (if those aren't benz headlights, I don't know what is), and they are doing the retro bit (they call it "heritage styling" now, I think). But I think overall it is a successful design, at least in terms of being distinctive enough to notice on the road, and distinguishable from other makes. I'd give it a B grade definitely, maybe a B+.

bubukitty · October 1999

Fezo, thanks for the picture. It actually is cute in an ugly way! Sort of looks like those cartoon like plastic cars you can buy from Chevron. Regarding the new Jag, I like the front end better than the back. Actually, the new Lincoln LS is based on the Jag, and I think it is the better looking of the two. My 2 cents.

rea98d · October 1999

If we're going for new cars, could you get a pic of a Taurus? (Wagons are ugliest.) BTW, how do you get th pictures on Edmunds?
Oh, and I happen to think the new Jag S-Type is beautiful (then again, this is coming from a guy who likes 58 Ford Edsels.) And that grille is taken from Jags of the 50's, not Edsels (at least, that's the official story coming from Ford).

isellhondas · October 1999

Your photos are great!

# 160, the Saab gets my vote for the ugliest! It looks like a giant cockroach!

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

cockroaches don't look ugly to other cockroaches. Depends what you drive, I guess.

I cant' agree about that old Saab...the more I look at it, the more I like it....show me one line of the car that isn't harmonious...it all fits....true, rather unconventional, but I'd say it is unattractive due to changes in taste rather than a violation of design principles. Is that just nit-picking?

carnut4 · October 1999

Speaking of "Atomic Cockroach" styling, what do you think of the 70's Datsun B-210? Or maybe the F-10? Talk about a bunch of lines that go nowhere... About the SAAB-you would have got a kick out of a guy here in town who raced one of those old Saabs at the local dirt track in the sportsmen class-against the usual clapped out Chevy somethings with there small block V8s. That Saab cleaned house more than once-just hugged the track and kept going.

isellhondas · October 1999

As a kid working in the gas station, we had a customer with a Saab that looked like the black one in the photo.

He matched the car...pipe smoker, etc...

It had a two stroke engine!! When you opened the gas door, a red flag would pop out reminding you to put in a can of oil. At that point, the guy would hand a quart of oil out the window!

Now, Shifty, were these something rare or were all of those like that.

Or...am I dreaming?

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

I doubt if he had one like the black one, that is a one-off as I recall that resides in the Saab Museum. He probably had the more common model 93, which was a 750cc two-stroke 3 cylinder. They made them until 1967, and added automatic oil-injection, because Americans were screwing up the engines.
They also made a Monte Carlo model, which was an 850 cc two-stroke hotrod that could do just about 100 mph.

These two-strokers were odd ducks, to be sure, and mechanically fragile in many way, but I think they were probably , pound for pound, the structurally strongest production car ever built.

Then in 1968 they needed to meet stricter US emissions laws so they installed the German Ford V-4 (four-stroke)in the car and called it a model 96. This made the car more reliable but really ruined its handling, because the Ford V-4 was too heavy for the suspension.

Then came the model 99, a miserable rat of a car if I ever saw one...then the 900, which offered one of the first production turbo sedans in the world (around 1980 introduction I believe) and that was a pretty decent car, and better-looking.

Saabs never got what one might call attractive until just recently. I think the '99 & 2000 Saabs are fairly nice to look at. Ditto Volvo.

I think the Swedes must have started designing cars without ever actually having seen one. Or at least the historical record looks that way!

rea98d · October 1999

I checked that guys website on 10 hottest and ten ugliest cars for 2000. Boy did he goof! Not that I've heard of a Panzo Esperante (not that expensive Italian cars ever impressed me anyway), but that's almost enough to knock the Taurus from first place on the ugly list. And the VW is just plain strange. Although I must admit, Making the Audi TT a convertable and dropping the top improves that cars styling by 1000%. Its gone from being hideous to livable at the flip of a switch. And the Diablo, while not ugly, would definately NOT make my top ten for impressive styling. Although, I think he let factors other than good/bad looking affect many of his decisions.

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

Maybe he's into outrageousness. I agree, the nose on the Pano-se isn't very good.

fezo · October 1999

I still put that in the middle of the road - just didn't think it looked all as Jaguarish(?) as they
say - looks a little Ford to me which makes one worry.

pomy11 · October 1999

Shifty, been reading this town hall, weekly, you really have access to car information. Ugly has to go to the American Motors, I don't why, I almost bought a 1967, AM Rebel, ran great, but ugggllly.

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

I think aside from the AMX, AMC and Nash before them hardly ever put out a good-looking car, although some were weird enough to be cute in a cult kind of way.

fezo · October 1999

Kind of hard to argue that one. I've always maintained that teh Pacer itself could put this whole discussion ouu of business! I mean if someone says don't post until you can think of a worse design than the Pacer what are you gonna do?
AMC really excelled in this. At least we can say they excelled at something!

carnut4 · October 1999

I was just thinking of the '61 Rambler American-they tried to freshen up the skin of the older American-still using the same old body structure and proportions. Oh my god it was ugly-I think worse than anything they did later. I remember seeing my father in law's car, in 1969-and it was a 61 Rambler American station wagon-with those fins on the roof of all things. UGH!! Wish I had a picture to post. FEZO?? Anybody?

fezo · October 1999

Similar? It's certainly where it should be....

I'll keep looking...

carnut4 · October 1999

That's great!! Looks just like my ex-father-in-laws car. Same color and everything. If this picture was taken in Hawaii, could be the same car. Thanks for sharing......

prophet2 · October 1999

That Rambler is parked exactly where it belongs. If it's in Hawaii, as carnut speculates, it must be in the Kawainui Swamp, near the Kailua dump!

I wonder if the two-tone paint was an extra-cost option .................

wilcox · October 1999

I had one of them thar '61 Rambler Americans. My first car. The best thing to brag about the American was that the seats could fold down. But....I didn't have much use for them back in those days, just dreams that were unfullfilled...

wilcox · October 1999

I had one of them thar '61 Rambler Americans. My first car. The best thing to brag about the American was that the seats could fold down. But....I didn't have much use for them back in those days, just dreams that were unfullfilled...

fezo · October 1999

The guy with the ugly car page I linked you to before considers this to be the ugliest 2000 vehicle. I beg to disagree - I love the look of this thing. Can't wait to see one on the road! Comments?

bubukitty · October 1999

Hate to say this, but I just don't like the PT Cruiser! Chrysler is definitely daring in their designs, and I know that retro (heritage) styling is sort of the in thing these days, but I would not be caught dead in one of these. All I can say is that it is unique and will probably be a big hit with the general public, but my initial reaction to it is "no like". Maybe it will grow on me. Reminds me of a car you would see in one of the Batman movies. Actually, while we're on Batman, is there anyone that likes the movie versions of the Batmobile? I was a kid when the TV series was on and loved the Batmobile (believe it was a George Barris creation). A very cool car.

Mr_Shiftright · October 1999

Somebody bring that mutt to the pound! It's another Chrysler "cartoon car". Oh, well, at least the 300M was attractive enough.

You know, somebody has to tell those people that designing something that gets noticed is not necessariy the same as good design. The former is called a "fad" and the latter a "trend".

Ugliest Cars of All Time

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