2013 Chevy Equinox - 17 degrees this morning, failed to start. acted like low battery, but no warnin

Bought the car used with about 50k miles on it back in July. Pristine condition, not a lick of trouble out of it whatsoever after after 5 months and about 7k miles.
Go out to start it today to go to work, and I get a repetitive clicking sound and the generic check engine icon flashing as it does this.
I utter a few profanities, take the key out, put it back in, and this time turn the key on, but no further, wanting to see if any kind of diagnostic or warning lamp comes on. Nothing. I turn the key and hold it. This time I get the clicking sound and additionally, while I hold they key on, every light it has on the instrument panel flashes randomly like a psychedelic trip for me, and although it's pretty and trippy to look at, the car does not start.
I utter a few more profanities, and this time take the key out completely, press the lock button twice on the fob, hear the doors lock and the car horn bleep. I then press the unlock button (all this while Im still sitting in the car) hoping I may have reset something. Insert key, turn the key to the on position only. This time it says "Checking" then it says "service stabili-track" I push the button that turns the traction control on and off hoping it will have an effect. Turn the key...same as before. Click-click-click, flashing engine icon.
I almost want to think that the cold weather perhaps caused the battery to drain, but surely there'd be an icon of some kind or warning light telling me that was the problem, right?
Any help is greatly appreciated, guys. Thanks.
Go out to start it today to go to work, and I get a repetitive clicking sound and the generic check engine icon flashing as it does this.
I utter a few profanities, take the key out, put it back in, and this time turn the key on, but no further, wanting to see if any kind of diagnostic or warning lamp comes on. Nothing. I turn the key and hold it. This time I get the clicking sound and additionally, while I hold they key on, every light it has on the instrument panel flashes randomly like a psychedelic trip for me, and although it's pretty and trippy to look at, the car does not start.
I utter a few more profanities, and this time take the key out completely, press the lock button twice on the fob, hear the doors lock and the car horn bleep. I then press the unlock button (all this while Im still sitting in the car) hoping I may have reset something. Insert key, turn the key to the on position only. This time it says "Checking" then it says "service stabili-track" I push the button that turns the traction control on and off hoping it will have an effect. Turn the key...same as before. Click-click-click, flashing engine icon.
I almost want to think that the cold weather perhaps caused the battery to drain, but surely there'd be an icon of some kind or warning light telling me that was the problem, right?
Any help is greatly appreciated, guys. Thanks.
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Out of curiosity, and again, understanding you may not know for sure, do you think that the extended warranty I bought when I got it would cover the replacement of a battery? Or would it instead be considered normal wear and tear, like tires, and I'll likely be putting up the hundred or so bucks instead for the battery?
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Nothing kills off an old battery like a quick freeze. You're about due for one I think.