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Ugliest Cars of All Time

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  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    No, one of the criteria for having no taste is having no idea that you have no taste. So you probably don't have no taste because you think you do.

    I'm happy to have cleared this up.

    Shifty your host
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    And I'm happy to have been validated--or maybe I wasn't.
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    The reason I hesitate to place the early Valiant in the All-Ugly category is that the car has a certain irrational exuberance I find oddly appealing. It's like seeing a major corporation wearing a lampshade at a party. Even the Comet can be rather fetching. I saw a snappy red convertible, 260 4-speed, absolutely mint, that I could easily see myself driving.
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    my 4 door 1961 Dodge Lancer.

    http://www.highperformancecars.com/crosley
    under Lancer

    I like it so much it is receiving a chevy 350 / t-350 combo in it as we speak/type.

    An 8 inch Ford differential from a 1972 Maverick slipped right onto the leaf springs. New U bolts and the rear diff was installed!
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    The Lancer is sharp, but I really like the '48 Simca. I wonder if the slant six would fit?
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    As long as you don't mind sitting on the valve cover while you drive...
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    is a bit small for the slant 6. The slant 6 was really a slant 5, one dead hole.

    I am thinking of turning a mopar turbo EFI 2.5 north and south (FWD to RWD) with a t-700 trans for the Simca.

    That would make the Simca lots of fun to drive.
  • lokkilokki Member Posts: 1,200
    That along with a 61 Lancer, you also own a 1948 Simca and a Crosley....and that you don't, therefore, perhaps share what might be called a normal world view? (This makes no mention of your nuclear powered Lancer... It'll be a screamer if that engine fits.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    He's just Daring to be Different!
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    of one of those 50's Simcas that came with the old reconstituted flathead Ford V8-60-with some old speed equipment and chrome stuff on it, and the exterior fixed up as a 50's custom. Now THAT would be really different! Or maybe a Citroen DS-19 fitted with a GMV6 and the lowrider treatment...Run it alongside one of these "boom-boom" slammed Hondas I see around these days. Jeez what the world has come to...
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    is a bit slanted....((-;

    I was a hard core GM/Chevrolet guy till about 10 years ago. Then I got my first Crosley. People liked the Crosley as much or more than all of my trick Camaros or my FWD 1970 Chevelle I built.

    The 350 Chev engine fits the Lancer well. I need to build a new recessed firewall for the car. This involves a cheapo wheel barrow from Home Depot. The formed metal of the wheel barrow makes a nice recessed firewall. A little triming and welding .... boom! a nice inexpensive firewall.

    The Chevy powered, Ford suspensioned Lancer really burns the hard core "Mopar or no car " people. I like that.
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    And I hope that's four wheel drive, not front wheel drive. Crosley, I'm beginning to think you're not a purist.

    I knew a guy who tried to force a VW engine into one of those '50s English Ford wagons, the kind with wood trim. Needless to say, when I met him it had been a work in progress for many years.
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    Shiftright, I've been meaning to ask you: My father used to own one of those wagons (a Consul?) back in the '60s. The dealer told him its first owner had been the son of the local English Ford dealer, who had put in "the bigger engine". I know, it sounds like the usual hype, but that car could routinely peg the 80 mph speedo, so maybe there's something to it. Was there a larger version of the stock engine?
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    Front Wheel Drive.

    A 6-71 super charged 350 chevy motor hooked up to a Toronado transaxle and sub frame was under the Chevelle.

    Talk about "torque steer"

    I have many construction pics of the Chevelle I should post some where.

    I was a purist. I did restoration work on muscle cars in the 80's till the muscle car market dropped like a rock in 1989-90. I worked on Panteras to W-30 Olds back then.

    Even did some minor work on a 2,000 mile 1970 LT-1 Corvette in 1988. We pulled a door panel off to see the inside of the door, looking for dirt or evidence that the car was a fake.......it looked brand new ! Even the grease on the window regulators was clean and looked new.
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    I hope you've got a photo of the Chevelle lighting 'em up. I'll bet that got their attention in the bleachers.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    I think that if that Ford wagon was a Cortina, from about 62-63, yes you could have an optional 1488cc engine....wow!
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    Thanks. Was that the Kent engine? That car had (I think) three on the floor, and if exhaust racket means anything, it was a rocket. The red carpet probably added another 5 hp. But seriously, it was a lot of fun to Sunday drive on Florida back roads in the early '60s. There wasn't much like it on the road in those days. A black 2-door wagon with wood trim and nifty styling. Sporty! My father sold it to our mailman, but we still got mail.

    I've read English road tests of the '50s and their basic transportation cars took a week to get to 60.
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    Well, it's the kind of car where you want to have a magazine or two to flip through while you're accelerating onto the freeway ramp.
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    Just thought those of you who love to hate Azteks would like to hear this. I just bought one. No, actually I saw one up close and personal today when I was having the GTP serviced and, well, I was pleasantly surprised. The interior certainly has...personality. Lots and lots of...personality. Camouflage upholstery. Dash by Mattel. Plastic with a kind of alligator grain. Don't know if the designers were serious or spoofing. Maybe they don't know either. I do know it was the only vehicle on the showroom floor that drew me inside it.
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    and didn't like it, you could always trade it for an ugly, mean dog, and then just shoot the dog...
  • kranjec1kranjec1 Member Posts: 20
    GM's already pushing the Aztek big time for lease and purchase incentives. Looks like they hit it small with the yuktek! Or,maybe they brought it to market so people wouldn't notice how ugly grand ams and bonnevilles are sitting right next to them on the lot.
  • rea98drea98d Member Posts: 982
    Don't shoot the dog. Shoot the Aztek, it's much more humane!

    Oh yeah, it's better on the dog, too.
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    dog would only be seen running from an Aztek.

    on the flip side, we own a 2k Impala LS. I cannot stand the looks of the rear of the car. I read that the engineers tried to use 1965 Impalas for reference of the 2k Impala....... they missed!!

    I just don't follow myself too often.
  • packman2packman2 Member Posts: 13
    I don't think Ponitac was trying to make a normal car then they designed it,,it is not for people who would visit a web site like this,,it is more for someone who would be wearing a (KORN) shirt,,or (Kid Rock).. they want it to be radical,,
  • andre1969andre1969 Member Posts: 26,023
    Actually, I think they were trying to ape the rear of a 1962 Impala. Or Bel Air, actually, since it only has 2 taillights on each side ;-). The '62 had a crease at the edge of the trunk that dipped down a bit in the center, kind of like how the plastic panel on the decklid of the Y2K Impala dips in the center. You really have to smoke some good stuff, and then squint your eyes, but the resemblance is there.

    Hey, Car & Driver once said that if you squint your eyes, a 1978 Grand Am looks kinda like a 1964 GTO. I wonder what THEY were smoking back in the 70's?

    Packman2, I have a friend who's into Korn, Kid Rock, stuff like that, and even HE can't stand the Aztek!! ;-)

    -Andre
  • andy_jordanandy_jordan Member Posts: 764
    Aztek is definitely a lifestyle thing. I was talking to a dealer (I stress I was looking for a big manly truck - not an Aztek!!!) and I told him how ugly I thought it was. The standard pitch that he came up with stressed the practicality, lifestyle blah blah blah.

    It seems like the latest trend seems to ignore the product and centre (or center) around image - Xterra, PT Cruiser, Aztek etc.
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    near here that throws in two free body piercings with the purchase of a new black Aztec...
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    Am I wrong to assume you are talking about shooting the Aztek with a gun....... twice????
  • vmanvman Member Posts: 103
    LOL!!!!! Rev up the A-10 Thunderbolt! You might be on to something, though. The Air Force could buy them for moving target practice.
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    a black Aztec with a big gold "nose ring" hanging out of that ugly, split front grill-with an optional "gold package" of course. Jeez never thoughta that. Maybe purple leather seats with spiked hair tops, and an optional gold chain steering wheel. Hey, if you wanna go ugly, might as well go all the way...
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    I was in traffic along side a new Nissan Frontier 4 door truck yesterday. In the massive traffic jams we call freeways here in the Phoenix AZ metro area I got a good look at the unit.

    I guess the massive plastic add-on doodads may sell a few of them.

    Down rite ugly to me!

    A co-worker of my wife bought an Xterra about a month ago. My 2k Silverado 5.3, 2wd Xtra-cab truck gets better fuel mileage than his Nissan! They claim the unit is getting 15+ mpg so far. My Silverado since new gets high 17's to low 18's every tank in town driving with some freeway included.

    It may be thier driving habits that kill the mileage, plus it is a new vehicle. The sticker only gave the Nissan 16 and 21 mpg .
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    Saw this drive through an intersection in front of me yesterday. It was bright yellow, which made all the ugly black plastic, and the ugly black strips of rubber on the roof [that are standard for most all cars these days]stand out even more. I think it was a Ford focus 2-door. Looks like it's aimed at the same market as the Aztec.By the way, I notice all cars now seem to have those ugly black strips of rubber on the roof, which I assume cover up the crude body seams. Honda started this years ago. Whatever happened to the soldering and handwork that used to be part of body assembly and crafting? I guess this way they can simplify the process with fewer body stampings, robot-weld them together crudely, eliminate some more jobs, increase profit, and then just slap a couple strips of black rubber on top. This harks back to the forties and fifties, when fenders were bolted on with a black "gasket" in between. Ugly, and crude, if you ask me.
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    but I like the Focus. It's a sharp little sedan. I have no taste. No, really, I don't.
  • rea98drea98d Member Posts: 982
    The Focus I could live with if it were twice as big, had 4 more cylinders, and made the back wheels do all the work ;-). The XTerra is tolerable for a truck, but the Aztek looks downright ugly. Looks like someone crossbred a Bonneville, Honda CRX, and the ugly mutt next door!
  • fezofezo Member Posts: 10,386
    Haven't been here in quite a while - glad to see the ugly spottings going on.

    We HAD one those Valiant wagons! It was white. It was my grandfather's last car. Looking at it probably killed him.....

    My observation on Azteks so far - they are all very ugly, but if you really want to go for it - get one in red. Proof that there is a hell.
    2015 Mazda 6 Grand Touring, 2014 Mazda 3 Sport Hatchback, 1999 Mazda Miata 2004 Toyota Camry LE, 1999.
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
  • vmanvman Member Posts: 103
    I was at the warehouse club the other day, and there was an Aztek inside, presumably as an attempt to give one away! I had to walk right past the hideous toaster oven and tried to avoid looking at it. It just looks like a Rubbermaid storage container on wheels. On the way out, I could swear the darned thing was staring at me. I almost took pity on it, but resisted the urge to look inside.
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    Yup, she's a beauty. What year Simca is that?
  • crosley4crosley4 Member Posts: 295
    it's a Holden "Guppy" not many in the USA. (-;
  • sgaines1sgaines1 Member Posts: 44
    Funny, I see a picture of a new Impala there. ???
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    Hey, we can dream, can't we?
  • lokkilokki Member Posts: 1,200
    although I can't say the Echo is the ugliest car of all time, I always think that it looks as though someone has just kicked it (hard) in the rear differential.... (I know it's front wheel drive...) but it has that just been goosed look to it...
  • carnut4carnut4 Member Posts: 574
    jumped from behind-sort of a 90's version a Citroen 2CV and Isetta 300.
  • chris396chris396 Member Posts: 53
    I've heard the man behind the design of the Aztek is going to design the next Corvette. And just when I was starting to like the Corvette (except for that fat rear end).
  • speedshiftspeedshift Member Posts: 1,598
    What, George Barris wasn't available?
  • rea98drea98d Member Posts: 982
    The color on that Impala is awful, and it's not a very flattering picture to boot, but (if the colors right) I actually like the new Impalas. At night those round taillights look awesome.

    Hey, here's an idea-Maybe we could get John Delorean to design the next Vette!
  • Mr_ShiftrightMr_Shiftright Member Posts: 64,481
    That was cruel....
  • ajvdhajvdh Member Posts: 223
    This will start with the obligatory Spaztek/Plastek/Aztek bash: I saw my first one last Thursday. Bright red. I thought I'd been inoculated against its hideousness by photos in magazines, but I wuz wrong. It is far worse in the flesh. It's like the guys at Pontiac got a hold of a Strunk and White for car design, and decided to violate (forcefully!) every rule in it.

    Apparently the god of aesthetics decided to make up for the experience Saturday. I had just passed the local BMW store, when what do I see driving towards it, but a brand new Z8. So, I turned around, parked next to it and spent a few minutes wiping drool off my chin before it could drip off and soil the bodywork.

    Stunning. No "character lines", 'cause the shape is so "right" it'd be lily-gilding. The interior is Boyd Coddington meets Bauhaus. Even if you don't like it, you have to admire that it's obviously a labor of love by the designers.
  • packman2packman2 Member Posts: 13
    I think a real mutt is the AMC Matadors from the 70's...in fact most AMC's...except the early Javelins,,and they screwed that up to...
  • badgerpaulbadgerpaul Member Posts: 219
    A friend of mine once got one in a contest. He claimed it was the grand prize, I thought maybe it was more like the booby prize.
This discussion has been closed.