Edmunds Members - Cars and Conversations (Archived)

carnaught

fintail said:

I think the lack of clear sight lines does contribute to issues, even with distracted drivers. It helps people be less aware of their surroundings. 90s cars were the last of the thin pillars, 90-93 Accord comes to mind as an especially airy car, with a tall greenhouse, low dash, and relatively thin pillars.

This car is quite easy to back into tight spaces:

oldfarmer50 said:

That's my biggest problem with modern cars. If they didn't build them like tombs for safety they might be safer to drive. I like my 90s car because it was more open.

Verrry nice car! Your fintail, or one like it?

tjc78

@driver100

There is more to a cable than just the fact that it "works". Higher quality means better built connectors that are better for your equipment (snug fit, good strain reliefs) and better shielding from noise etc).  I'm sure that RB and GG will both agree with me that there is very little need to spend $1000 on a cable but you should be using good ($15-$25) cables from Blue Jeans, Canare, KnuKoncepts etc as a minimum.  

Its like buying a fancy car that requires premium and running regular "because it works"

I don't have any boutique cables behind my rigs but they are all good quality that don't sacrifice performance. 

pensfan83

imidazol97 said:

I'd video and photograph the damage. Invite neighbor over to inspect damage for his insurance to compensate. Also photo the changes he made without provision for runoff control on HIS property. 

I notice all the effort made on construction projects to control the runoff and prevent dirt from being washed into the runoff. He likely has similar responsibility. Did his work require and did he get a permit from your municipality?

My wife took a lot of pictures and after surveying things this morning since I arrived home late last night it's not quite as bad as it appeared. My neighbor popped over when he saw me outside with the hose and shovels and apologized for the mess. To his credit he offered to pay for new mulch and any plants that were wiped out without my prompting. I spent the morning shoveling off the excess mud and hosing the patio off but it definitely needs a power washing. My wife and the kids worked on getting as much mulch as they could out of the grass and back into the beds. My neighbor said he simply got sidetracked with other projects and work but he doesn't want a repeat of what happened so he will get his yard properly graded. I offered to help him out if it means getting it done quicker. I believe since he was only excavating for a foundation drain and no dirt left his property he was not required to have a permit.

pensfan83

tjc78 said:

Manuals are really hard to find, just not a huge market for them.   A few years back a friend from work was looking for a car and she only drives manuals.   She was driving a first gen WRX and wanted something more upscale in a manual of course.  

I did some searching and found a G35 manual with 10k miles for a screaming deal at a local dealer.  I told her to offer even less and they took it.  Car had to be sitting a while.  I can't remember the details but it was thousands less than a compatible auto. 

While I wouldn't say I got the deal of the century on my Audi there was no chance I would have been able to replicate it on an auto. My car was probably a required allotment for the dealer and it was sitting there for quite some time by the time I expressed interest, or so I was told. Very painless deal to execute; no marked up MF, nice discount from sticker, and they made a strong offer on my trade since a Ford dealer was part of the dealership group. With my last payment due in less than a month and no manuals on the lot the chances of striking a similar deal are slim to none.

driver100

roadburner said:

driver100 said:

Just to clarify:
Are expensive HDMI cables better?

Sorry; I didn't realize that you considered $15 to be "expensive."

driver100 said:

I think anything that adds to safety is good.

Isn't that special! My views on the subject tend to align with those of Mollie Hemingway:
What Your Neighborhood List-Serv Tells You About The Demise of America.

1) The cables I bought at Best Buy were $35. My IT expert guy told me to return them and pick up a $4 HDMI cable and it would have the same result. I am sure the more expensive cable is built to a higher standard with better material, it is probably tested more, but the $4 cable does the job and it was bought from one of the largest chains of dollar stores in the country, so I am sure they wouldn't risk buying a poor quality product.

2) The article you pointed out in "The Federalist" makes some good points but it is a little over the top, in a very right wing (sorry had to say that for this to make sense) kind of way. It says not to stress safety to your kids or they will become scared to do stuff.....tell them to go out and do things and don't be over protective...or at all protective. We did wild things when we were kids and we are around to talk about it, and we are stronger for it.

Good points, but, there has to be some balance too. I see young guys on the highway who think they are racing car drivers. They weave in and out to get a few car lengths ahead. Like Dino said they have no concept of science...how long it takes to stop, what if someone brakes suddenly etc. They endanger their own lives which doesn't concern me....that is their right, unfortunately it does infringe on my rights when they endanger me and my loved ones.

Did you say you use a seatbelt or not? Do you use your cell phone when driving? Do you drive fast and take risks....because that makes you feel more alive? Just asking?

murphydog

Over the years I have developed the habit of backing into a spot, virtually everywhere I go, that I way i have a fresh view of what is back there, and I am not surprised by something in my path when it is time to go. One major drawback with the camera is you have to look forward to use it - would be better if the screen was some how in view as you were looking over your shoulder while backing up.

Oh, and I always back the truck up my driveway

fintail

Neighborhood list-serv? What about stuff for people not living in 1995? So many self-made bootstrapping brave heroes no doubt tied to parental largesse into adulthood. Read her Twitter feed, it will tell you all you need to know. I suppose it is a step above Breitbart anyway

fintail

Thanks, my car, at a flattering rear angle that shows off the visibility.

Here's a pic from the local MBCA gathering last Sunday, you can also see the excellent visibility and good sight lines brought via a low beltline, thin pillars, etc:



And for the lack of standard equipment on modern premium brands, normal range MBs back then didn't have PW or PL as options - simply not offered, AC was dealer-installed, cars shipped with no radio, cloth or vinyl was standard. But this car did have FI, disc brakes, 4 speed auto, 4 wheel independent suspension - high tech stuff then, so maybe that balanced it out.

carnaught said:

Verrry nice car! Your fintail, or one like it?

driver100

fintail said:

Neighborhood list-serv? What about stuff for people not living in 1995? So many self-made bootstrapping brave heroes no doubt tied to parental largesse into adulthood. Read her Twitter feed, it will tell you all you need to know. I suppose it is a step above Breitbart anyway

Right on! I got the impression she had to do an article a week of a certain number of words. She really dragged out her main point......don't teach your kids to think safety, encourage them to take risks and live life to the limit.

driver100

fintail said:

Thanks, my car, at a flattering rear angle that shows off the visibility.

Here's a pic from the local MBCA gathering last Sunday, you can also see the excellent visibility and good sight lines brought via a low beltline, thin pillars, etc:



And for the lack of standard equipment on modern premium brands, normal range MBs back then didn't have PW or PL as options - simply not offered, AC was dealer-installed, cars shipped with no radio, cloth or vinyl was standard. But this car did have FI, disc brakes, 4 speed auto, 4 wheel independent suspension - high tech stuff then, so maybe that balanced it out.

carnaught said:

Verrry nice car! Your fintail, or one like it?

I love the design of that car. Big windows, easy to see the front fenders....rear is marked by fins. rear window comes down low enough so you can judge the trunk and see what is behind you. Beautiful then, now and always.

fintail

Really, I a little of both would be best - don't live like Chicken Little, but don't wildly do things without thinking of consequences, and not just the kinds parents can fix for you.

I am always leery of writers who are published by such sources, and don't appear to have other credible material. It's like stuff from a facebook whine pretending to be journalism. Of all the semi-political babble out there, the libertarian stuff can be the weirdest.

driver100 said:

Right on! I got the impression she had to do an article a week of a certain number of words. She really dragged out her main point......don't teach your kids to think safety, encourage them to take risks and live life to the limit.

fintail

Funny, MB actually ran with the story that the fins were to be used as parking aids, and even used this explanation in printed sales material. The car was introduced in 1959 - the fins were there to follow the latest styling fad, but nobody wanted to admit this. The fender shapes do help though, you know where the car ends. That with wraparound glass makes it a breeze to park, I always back in too, and can do it a lot more gingerly in this car than in the modern car, even with its camera and sensors (maybe I am more afraid of damaging it).

This style of MB was shunned and neglected for a long time, but has a following now.

driver100 said:

I love the design of that car. Big windows, easy to see the front fenders....rear is marked by fins. rear window comes down low enough so you can judge the trunk and see what is behind you. Beautiful then, now and always.

fintail

I back in everywhere too, it's much easier to pull out moving forward that any mild inconvenience of backing in is worth it. I also find it a way to spot drivers who are for the most part "with it", as I doubt the lowest common denominator here could pull it off much.

murphydog said:

Over the years I have developed the habit of backing into a spot, virtually everywhere I go, that I way i have a fresh view of what is back there, and I am not surprised by something in my path when it is time to go. One major drawback with the camera is you have to look forward to use it - would be better if the screen was some how in view as you were looking over your shoulder while backing up.

Oh, and I always back the truck up my driveway

oldfarmer50

fintail said:

Really, I a little of both would be best - don't live like Chicken Little, but don't wildly do things without thinking of consequences, and not just the kinds parents can fix for you.

I am always leery of writers who are published by such sources, and don't appear to have other credible material. It's like stuff from a facebook whine pretending to be journalism. Of all the semi-political babble out there, the libertarian stuff can be the weirdest.

driver100 said:

Right on! I got the impression she had to do an article a week of a certain number of words. She really dragged out her main point......don't teach your kids to think safety, encourage them to take risks and live life to the limit.

Not much different that some of the "publish or perish" research done by my grad school professors. Talk about requiring a certain number of words. Some of their journal articles would make your eyes bleed.

roadburner

driver100 said:

The cables I bought at Best Buy were $35. My IT expert guy told me to return them and pick up a $4 HDMI cable and it would have the same result. I am sure the more expensive cable is built to a higher standard with better material, it is probably tested more, but the $4 cable does the job and it was bought from one of the largest chains of dollar stores in the country, so I am sure they wouldn't risk buying a poor quality product.

Wow, I want the number of your IT guy! And could you look up the electronics buyer for that dollar store chain? With their sage advice I'll bet I can put together a state of the art UHD HTS-with HDR and Dolby Atmos, even- for less than $150.

driver100 said:

The article you pointed out in "The Federalist" makes some good points but it is a little over the top, in a very right wing (sorry had to say that for this to make sense) kind of way. It says not to stress safety to your kids or they will become scared to do stuff.....tell them to go out and do things and don't be over protective...or at all protective. We did wild things when we were kids and we are around to talk about it, and we are stronger for it.

You should have heard the bleating from some of the hand-wringing bed wetters when they learned my son's first car-a 1975 2002-had no nannies or airbags(but brand new three-point belts and inertia reels). My wife and I agreed that two days at the BMW Performance Center Driving School and a day at Street Survival was a better strategy than tottering around with no driving skills in a "safe" car.

driver100 said:

Did you say you use a seatbelt or not? Do you use your cell phone when driving? Do you drive fast and take risks....because that makes you feel more alive? Just asking?

I use seat belts 100% of the time, and I use my cell phone in my cars that allow hands-free usage. As for driving fast? Usually no more than 10-15 mph over the posted limit and never on urban or suburban streets. In corners I usually follow the "subtract 10 mph from the posted advisory speed and double it" method- but you can hardly call that risk taking- as I'm still typically only utilizing 50% of my car's cornering capability.

driver100

Having worked in the publishing industry it always amazed me how someone could have a great idea which they could probably state nicely on about 5 pages. But, hard to sell 5 pages for much, maybe it would make a magazine article. But, pad it out to 300 pages, get on a few TV and radio shows, and instantly you have a best seller.
We had a best selling Diet book...actually a lot of them. The one I am thinking of was called Fit For Life by the Diamonds. There big thing was combining food, eat one article from the meat/fish group, one from the carb group - potato/rice, one from veg group. Not bad but it just limited the amount of food and the calorie stuff.....so it worked for awhile, until the person went back to their old habits. I could explain the diet in about 5 minutes max!

driver100

roadburner said:

driver100 said:

The cables I bought at Best Buy were $35. My IT expert guy told me to return them and pick up a $4 HDMI cable and it would have the same result. I am sure the more expensive cable is built to a higher standard with better material, it is probably tested more, but the $4 cable does the job and it was bought from one of the largest chains of dollar stores in the country, so I am sure they wouldn't risk buying a poor quality product.

Wow, I want the number of your IT guy! And could you look up the electronics buyer for that dollar store chain? With their sage advice I'll bet I can put together a state of the art UHD HTS-with HDR and Dolby Atmos, even- for less than $150.

I didn't say all the parts could be exchanged for cheaper parts. The articles point out the cables carry the signal, all cables carry the signals, it isn't some mysterious device that NASA developed. If you feel better about buying Monster Cables or any premium brand lots of people do. The tests show there is NO difference in performance.
Watch Marketplace, they test $262, $40 and $12 cables:
https://youtu.be/tDw2ZSDzlMw

driver100 said:

The article you pointed out in "The Federalist" makes some good points but it is a little over the top, in a very right wing (sorry had to say that for this to make sense) kind of way. It says not to stress safety to your kids or they will become scared to do stuff.....tell them to go out and do things and don't be over protective...or at all protective. We did wild things when we were kids and we are around to talk about it, and we are stronger for it.

You should have heard the bleating from some of the hand-wringing bed wetters when they learned my son's first car-a 1975 2002-had no nannies or airbags(but brand new three-point belts and inertia reels). My wife and I agreed that two days at the BMW Performance Center Driving School and a day at Street Survival was a better strategy than tottering around with no driving skills in a "safe" car.

I'll take all the safety equipment available. Princess Dianna would still be alive if she had worn her seatbelt. Your son could be the best driver in the country, if another driver drives head on into his lane he will need more than driving skills.....an airbag might be a big help.

driver100 said:

Did you say you use a seatbelt or not? Do you use your cell phone when driving? Do you drive fast and take risks....because that makes you feel more alive? Just asking?

I use seat belts 100% of the time, and I use my cell phone in my cars that allow hands-free usage. As for driving fast? Usually no more than 10-15 mph over the posted limit and never on urban or suburban streets. In corners I usually follow the "subtract 10 mph from the posted advisory speed and double it" method- but you can hardly call that risk taking- as I'm still typically only utilizing 50% of my car's cornering capability.

It is probably just as bad to be overly confident than it is to be incompetent. I taught driving to high school students - I would never tell anyone learning to drive to not utilize whatever safety features they can afford to buy. And I would want my children to have the safest car they can afford. btw...I probably wouldn't be walking today, maybe not alive, if it wasn't for the safety features in my car....accident happened 1 year ago....Aug 16 2016. I don't consider crumple zones, exploding out headrests, tightening seatbelts, engine turning off to be nannie devices..........they were made to make the car as safe as possible.

explorerx4

@driver100,
You seem to have an idealized view of (RH), really Nursing Homes.
I like AB348's post about looking at something that uses in place programs for senior citizens

fintail

Did people really get in your face about that? Must be a nosy and affluent area - not a good combination. I spent much of my youth in a working class small town, my siblings and I all started driving in the 90s, and our first cars were old cars. Mine was a 66 Ford, my sister had a Dodge Rampage, and my brother a K-Car. Nothing unusual and nothing was said or even thought, as all of the cars were in good condition, and few parents in that area were able to spoil their spawn with a new car (and in the 90s, it might not have made a big difference, other than an airbag).

I will still take the fintail, which only has lap belts (probably original to the car) out on the interstate without real worry - kind of like being on a motorcycle, it just requires a heightened state of attention, and knowing the limits of the car and how those relate to being able maneuver around incidents. I suppose to many, especially in this area, that might be scary.

roadburner said:

You should have heard the bleating from some of the hand-wringing bed wetters when they learned my son's first car-a 1975 2002-had no nannies or airbags(but brand new three-point belts and inertia reels). My wife and I agreed that two days at the BMW Performance Center Driving School and a day at Street Survival was a better strategy than tottering around with no driving skills in a "safe" car.


I use seat belts 100% of the time, and I use my cell phone in my cars that allow hands-free usage. As for driving fast? Usually no more than 10-15 mph over the posted limit and never on urban or suburban streets. In corners I usually follow the "subtract 10 mph from the posted advisory speed and double it" method- but you can hardly call that risk taking- as I'm still typically only utilizing 50% of my car's cornering capability.

roadburner

driver100 said:

I didn't say all the parts could be exchanged for cheaper parts. The articles point out the cables carry the signal, all cables carry the signals, it isn't some mysterious device that NASA developed. If you feel better about buying Monster Cables or any premium brand lots of people do. The tests show there is NO difference in performance.

You just don't get it; I have never espoused overpriced "boutique" cables like Monster Cable; what I DO recommend is to buy a cable assembled using quality components- which would cost a whopping $15. I'll gladly pay an extra $11 to buy a quality product.

driver100 said:

I'll take all the safety equipment available. Princess Dianna would still be alive if she had worn her seatbelt. Your son could be the best driver in the country, if another driver drives into his lane he will need more than driving skills.....an airbag might be a big help.

Un-twist your overly tight knickers; his current car does have an airbag.

driver100 said:

It is probably just as bad to be overly confident than it is to be incompetent. I taught driving to high school students - I would never tell anyone learning to drive to not utilize whatever safety features they can afford to buy. And I would want my children to have the safest car they can afford. btw...I probably wouldn't be walking today, maybe not alive, if it wasn't for the safety features in my car....accident happened 1 year ago....Aug 16 2016. I don't consider crumple zones, exploding out headrests, tightening seatbelts, engine turning off to be nannie devices..........they were made to make the car as safe as possible.

Which is why I DID NOT want my son to take the typical "Driver's Education" course. I wanted him to learn in an environment where he would experience trailing throttle oversteer- as opposed to being lectured by an "instructor" who thinks TTO is a band that used to open for Kansas.

Here's a thought; I'll gladly concede I'm overly confident if you'll concede you're incompetent- that should balance things out!

cdnpinhead

Well, we all know who always has to have the last word here, so the spectacle will continue.

"Often wrong, but never uncertain." What ever happened to Mark anyway? My theory for years was that when business was good he had time to post here. In tougher times, not so much. Hopefully that's not the case this time.

The concept of someone making almost 19K posts on a single board was something I wouldn't have believed 15 years ago, but I've "grown" now. Live and learn. Marco's on track to become a contender, but I don't think I have the endurance to find out -- it'll take years.

Party on!

roadburner

fintail said:

Did people really get in your face about that? Must be a nosy and affluent area - not a good combination. I spent much of my youth in a working class small town, my siblings and I all started driving in the 90s, and our first cars were old cars. Mine was a 66 Ford, my sister had a Dodge Rampage, and my brother a K-Car. Nothing unusual and nothing was said or even thought, as all of the cars were in good condition, and few parents in that area were able to spoil their spawn with a new car (and in the 90s, it might not have made a big difference, other than an airbag).

I will still take the fintail, which only has lap belts (probably original to the car) out on the interstate without real worry - kind of like being on a motorcycle, it just requires a heightened state of attention, and knowing the limits of the car and how those relate to being able maneuver around incidents. I suppose to many, especially in this area, that might be scary.

The comments were mostly made to others or online. The folks I dealt with on a daily basis were fine with it. The rest could go pound sand.

roadburner

cdnpinhead said:

Well, we all know who always has to have the last word here, so the spectacle will continue.

Party on!

I should have taken your "talk to the wall" comment to heart- my mistake. On the other hand, I shared an excerpt from our exchange on my Facebook page and it's getting a lot of likes as well as some very entertaining comments.

driver100

roadburner said:

driver100 said:

I didn't say all the parts could be exchanged for cheaper parts. The articles point out the cables carry the signal, all cables carry the signals, it isn't some mysterious device that NASA developed. If you feel better about buying Monster Cables or any premium brand lots of people do. The tests show there is NO difference in performance.

You just don't get it; I have never espoused overpriced "boutique" cables like Monster Cable; what I DO recommend is to buy a cable assembled using quality components- which would cost a whopping $15. I'll gladly pay an extra $11 to buy a quality product.

I would too, but if they do exactly the same thing what is the point. I think "quality" is in the words of the manufacturer. They are CABLES, they transfer a signal. btw, in the test the $12 cable had exactly the same quality as the $262 cable....what does quality have to do with it?

driver100 said:

I'll take all the safety equipment available. Princess Dianna would still be alive if she had worn her seatbelt. Your son could be the best driver in the country, if another driver drives into his lane he will need more than driving skills.....an airbag might be a big help.

Un-twist your overly tight knickers; his current car does have an airbag.

I'll err on the side of safety. I am not OCD about safety, I just prefer it. A rear camera is a smart idea....you're the only person I have heard say they don't want it or need it. Maybe it is a good device for the driver challenged person who may hit your car when parallel parking.

driver100 said:

It is probably just as bad to be overly confident than it is to be incompetent. I taught driving to high school students - I would never tell anyone learning to drive to not utilize whatever safety features they can afford to buy. And I would want my children to have the safest car they can afford. btw...I probably wouldn't be walking today, maybe not alive, if it wasn't for the safety features in my car....accident happened 1 year ago....Aug 16 2016. I don't consider crumple zones, exploding out headrests, tightening seatbelts, engine turning off to be nannie devices..........they were made to make the car as safe as possible.

Which is why I DID NOT want my son to take the typical "Driver's Education" course. I wanted him to learn in an environment where he would experience trailing throttle oversteer- as opposed to being lectured by an "instructor" who thinks TTO is a band that used to open for Kansas.

Here's a thought; I'll gladly concede I'm overly confident if you'll concede you're incompetent- that should balance things out!

Why would I say I am incompetent? Because, if given a choice I like having safety devices? And, you are competent because you don't need safety devices? Am I missing some kind of point.

driver100

roadburner said:

cdnpinhead said:

Well, we all know who always has to have the last word here, so the spectacle will continue.

Party on!

I should have taken your "talk to the wall" comment to heart- my mistake. On the other hand, I shared an excerpt from our exchange on my Facebook page and it's getting a lot of likes as well as some very entertaining comments.

You found others on Facebook who agree with you.
Like minded people usually like each others comments.
Why try to get support on Facebook?
Give us some samples of the comments, "Only incompetent idiots need safety devices!"

roadburner

driver100 said:

Why would I say I am incompetent? Because, if given a choice I like having safety devices? And, you are competent because you don't need safety devices? Am I missing some kind of point.[sic]

Yes.

driver100

cdnpinhead said:

Well, we all know who always has to have the last word here, so the spectacle will continue.

"Often wrong, but never uncertain." What ever happened to Mark anyway? My theory for years was that when business was good he had time to post here. In tougher times, not so much. Hopefully that's not the case this time.

The concept of someone making almost 19K posts on a single board was something I wouldn't have believed 15 years ago, but I've "grown" now. Live and learn. Marco's on track to become a contender, but I don't think I have the endurance to find out -- it'll take years.

Party on!

Roadburner gave you an lol for that one.....in case you missed it.
What is your point......rear cameras are only needed if you aren't a competent driver?

driver100

roadburner said:

driver100 said:

Why would I say I am incompetent? Because, if given a choice I like having safety devices? And, you are competent because you don't need safety devices? Am I missing some kind of point.[sic]

Yes.

Sorry if I didn't understand your point, please state it for my poor tired brain.

roadburner

If you have to ask...

bwia

thebean said:

@driver100, People like their dignity, even if it isn't the easiest thing for you.

A retirement home isn't the preferred way to live. Now he lives on his own in an apartment, in a retirement home there are people who can help him if he gets sick or if he falls and can't reach a phone, it could be very serious - serious as in life or death if something happens. Not an easy decision, but we have spent hours checking places and going over the advantages and disadvantages...my head is spinning. It is 10:30 and I am usually asleep by now!

Driver, I wish you the best of luck with your older brother's situation. This is one of those times when it appears there is no good answer. You want what is best for him, even though he may not be able to see that. I feel for you. Family issues like this are really stress monsters.

Ditto. That's a major downside to getting old. Although some people can manage on their own at times they get lonely and  depression sets in.

I'm not sure what I would do if I  ever get to be that old but my baby daughter promised she would never put me in a nursing home, bless her heart. 

driver100

roadburner said:

If you have to ask...

OK then.....whatever.

roadburner

Yep!

suydam

bwia said:

thebean said:

driver100 said:

explorerx4 said:

@driver100,
People like their dignity, even if it isn't the easiest thing for you.

A retirement home isn't the preferred way to live. Now he lives on his own in an apartment, in a retirement home there are people who can help him if he gets sick or if he falls and can't reach a phone, it could be very serious - serious as in life or death if something happens. Not an easy decision, but we have spent hours checking places and going over the advantages and disadvantages...my head is spinning. It is 10:30 and I am usually asleep by now!

Driver, I wish you the best of luck with your older brother's situation. This is one of those times when it appears there is no good answer. You want what is best for him, even though he may not be able to see that. I feel for you. Family issues like this are really stress monsters.

Ditto. That's a major downside to getting old. Although some people can manage on their own at times they get lonely and  depression sets in.

I'm not sure what I would do if I  ever get to be that old but my baby daughter promised she would never put me in a nursing home, bless her heart. 

That's a promise no one should make. Having lived through this with my father, I would never want my children to give up their own lives for the 24/7 care that the very elderly sometimes need to be well cared for and safe.

oldfarmer50

suydam said:

bwia said:

thebean said:

driver100 said:

explorerx4 said:

@driver100,
People like their dignity, even if it isn't the easiest thing for you.

A retirement home isn't the preferred way to live. Now he lives on his own in an apartment, in a retirement home there are people who can help him if he gets sick or if he falls and can't reach a phone, it could be very serious - serious as in life or death if something happens. Not an easy decision, but we have spent hours checking places and going over the advantages and disadvantages...my head is spinning. It is 10:30 and I am usually asleep by now!

Driver, I wish you the best of luck with your older brother's situation. This is one of those times when it appears there is no good answer. You want what is best for him, even though he may not be able to see that. I feel for you. Family issues like this are really stress monsters.

Ditto. That's a major downside to getting old. Although some people can manage on their own at times they get lonely and  depression sets in.

I'm not sure what I would do if I  ever get to be that old but my baby daughter promised she would never put me in a nursing home, bless her heart. 

That's a promise no one should make. Having lived through this with my father, I would never want my children to give up their own lives for the 24/7 care that the very elderly sometimes need to be well cared for and safe.

Amen.

28firefighter

Man. I disappear for a couple days and this thread has become quite heated!

stickguy

chiming in late, but with the modern design (meaning horrible rear visibility) a BU cam is pretty much essential these days. You could hide a shopping cart behind something like the RDX and not see it in any mirror, no matter how they were adjusted. And some cars are even worse.

I drove a Ford Transit Friday. The bu camera on that one came in handy!

driver100

explorerx4 said:

@driver100,
You seem to have an idealized view of (RH), really Nursing Homes.
I like AB348's post about looking at something that uses in place programs for senior citizens

Now to get back to the real world....I wanted to try and address this point.

My brother pays $950 a month for a large 2 bdrm 2 bthrm apartment. Retirement home will cost $3000. Spread of $2000 a month.
We all realize $2000 a month is a huge amount to pay extra for what is basically living accommodation.

My brother is going to be 80 soon. He isn't very capable, and he has major anxiety issues. There are times he won't leave his apartment. He is on medications that allow him to function.

Staying where he is at $950 a month is definitely an option.
The biggest factor is no one is nearby if he goes into a highly anxious/depressing state. He can't make phone calls, he can't walk to the store....he doesn't function at a normal level. If he falls in his apartment and can't get to a phone he could lie there until the end. If there is a snow storm he may not be able to leave his apartment.

Another factor is when he is in that state, they won't admit him into a retirement home...he needs more care, and they won't take that on.

There are more complications than that. But, it is better to go in, while you are still capable of doing things, and then the safety and security of living in a place where there are activities, socializing, and care may actually add to his quality and length of life.

No easy answer, and I don't push him one way or the other. I can only point out the advantages and disadvantages.....if he doesn't like a RH I don't want him to blame me.

About calling someone in to help when needed, he finds that hard to take. Says he would rather curl up in the corner. Lots of factors.....sounds simple $960 compared to $3000 but way more complex. For one thing, there is an apartment available in RH now, I think they will become scarcer as the baby boomers are starting to look for that kind of accommodation.

driver100

stickguy said:

chiming in late, but with the modern design (meaning horrible rear visibility) a BU cam is pretty much essential these days. You could hide a shopping cart behind something like the RDX and not see it in any mirror, no matter how they were adjusted. And some cars are even worse.

I drove a Ford Transit Friday. The bu camera on that one came in handy!

All vans and buses and big trucks should definitely have BU cameras. Unless you drive something like this, you need a BU camera:

driver100

suydam said:

bwia said:

thebean said:

driver100 said:

explorerx4 said:

@driver100,
People like their dignity, even if it isn't the easiest thing for you.

A retirement home isn't the preferred way to live. Now he lives on his own in an apartment, in a retirement home there are people who can help him if he gets sick or if he falls and can't reach a phone, it could be very serious - serious as in life or death if something happens. Not an easy decision, but we have spent hours checking places and going over the advantages and disadvantages...my head is spinning. It is 10:30 and I am usually asleep by now!

Driver, I wish you the best of luck with your older brother's situation. This is one of those times when it appears there is no good answer. You want what is best for him, even though he may not be able to see that. I feel for you. Family issues like this are really stress monsters.

Ditto. That's a major downside to getting old. Although some people can manage on their own at times they get lonely and  depression sets in.

I'm not sure what I would do if I  ever get to be that old but my baby daughter promised she would never put me in a nursing home, bless her heart. 

That's a promise no one should make. Having lived through this with my father, I would never want my children to give up their own lives for the 24/7 care that the very elderly sometimes need to be well cared for and safe.

I feel the same way....I wouldn't want to impose on my children. I don't want to be in a retirement or nursing home...but, it would be worse to impose on my children's lives.

My wife and I made a pact. If one of us is suffering....the other one brings in lots of sleeping pills - and quietly leaves them on the dresser.

Of course, as I said, the other pact is her new boyfriend doesn't get my E400. That has to get sold.

qbrozen

Y'all are depressing me to no end. I have anxiety issues now, so it worries me to think about what might happen if I were to lose any more control of my faculties as I age. I don't want to be ANYBODY's burden, even paid strangers. I need to go listen to some happy music. Sheesh!

tjc78

It's reasons like Driver is mentioning that we decided to move my mother in our home.   Right now she is perfectly healthy but it's nice knowing that as she gets older she won't have to be alone.

Its getting closer too, addition foundation is done and wood being delivered Monday. She received a firm offer on her house with settlement about 3-4 weeks before all the work is scheduled to be done.  Lots to do. 

roadburner

My wife and I bought a LTC policy- we will be a burden to no one- as it should be.

ab348

@driver100 , it scares me to think what your brother might face in one of those places with those problems. The care they provide is often cursory at best. I know of several friends whose elderly parents went in to those facilities and as their conditions worsened, they ended up not eating because the staff made minimal effort to ensure they ate. The younger relatives would need to come in and help feed the resident, otherwise the food was just left on the tray.

driver100

ab, I believe the place we are looking at is very good...my parents were there and it is a model place others come to look at. A big plus is once you are in, you can go from their to nursing care...it is all in one shopping so to speak.

My mother in law, who was completely independent until age 98, cut her own lawn, shoveled snow, went to the gym, etc went into a RH at 98 and she lived to 103. Although it was a new modern facility they drugged her up because they don't have time to interact with them. I thought of it as a warehouse for tired old bodies. She deteriorated quickly, because she was drugged up all day....makes it easier on the home.

I know I wouldn't want to live that way, and most of us don't, but, the will to keep living is very strong, so it is hard to say what you are thinking when you get to that stage.

Here is how I make myself feel better about life. I think anything over 40 is a real bonus. I could have been killed or died numerous times before 40, swam too far, hit by a car, falling off my friends Honda. Getting past 60 is a double bonus....I am fortunate to have got that far. Over 70 is icing on the cake. I have done almost everything I could ever hope to do. I'd like it to continue while I am in pretty good health....but, if not, it has been a great ride and I got no complaints.

oldfarmer50

What am I missing? This seems to be priced too low. Both Edmunds and KBB say low $8K in good condition. In 2010 most GMs were built for fleet use but this doesn't look like a rental car stripper. Any thoughts?



https://albany.craigslist.org/cto/d/mercury-grand-marquis/6263511364.html

Mr_Shiftright

That's about what I'm seeing on CL in the SF Bay Area--$6500-$7500. So with the low miles, this might be a "mild bargain".

tjc78

With those wheels and fender trim I'd say that was ordered as a retail sale.  If I could see the interior I could tell you.  Tell tale items that weren't fleet spec are power passenger seat, wood wheel/steering wheel controls.  

Also by 2010 even the fleet models were LS spec with leather, auto temp etc. 

tjc78

@roadburner
That is a very thoughtful thing to do for your kids.  It was our decision to move my mother in.  If we didn't, LTC would have been a discussion 

carnaught

Unless I'm mistaken, LTC insurance policies give "x" amount of money to extended or rehab. situations for "y" amount of time. When it's used up, you're on your own, financially speaking. Nursing home insurance, on the other hand, pays a good percentage of indefinite length nursing home stays.

driver100

qbrozen said:

Y'all are depressing me to no end. I have anxiety issues now, so it worries me to think about what might happen if I were to lose any more control of my faculties as I age. I don't want to be ANYBODY's burden, even paid strangers. I need to go listen to some happy music. Sheesh!

qb, my brother is in a much different situation than you are in, so don't worry that you will go down the same road. On top of anxiety there is major OCD and other issues, like being a hermit, minimal exercise etc.

Stay active, socialize, keep the brain working......many people live with anxiety.....stay connected to the real world.