Chronic Car Buyers Anonymous (Archived)

cdnpinhead

qbrozen said:

Sigh.. . . He passed away yesterday afternoon in the ICU of the Veterans hospital in East Orange, NJ

May he rest in peace. Remember the good times.

Michaell

@qbrozen - so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad (father just seems so impersonal at times like this). As others have noted, remember the memories and the lessons he taught you. You'll be surprised at the stuff you picked up from him without even realizing it.

@stickguy - glad to hear your dad is doing well, after everything he's been through. My wife's grandmother made it to her mid 90's - and was cantakerous every day of it - before she passed.

Michaell

Would like to ask for a little help - someone looking for a used SUV:

https://forums.edmunds.com/discussion/55645/general/x/used-suv-buying-advice#latest

marcogallo1986

 New York car guy, I’m glad to know that Courtney steps up and supports their products thanks for sharing, that’s awesome on the test track we bought your car. 

marcogallo1986

QB   So sorry for the loss of your dad, you know what always we’re all here for you in here. Just found out yesterday that I mentor of mine‘s brother passed away he had Alzheimer’s for the longest time. And he was on morphine and stuff at home from past number of weeks. 

marcogallo1986

 Stink guy, glad your mom and dad are doing OK. Thank God your dad is good after his stroke. And nice on the road trips you had with your TLX late week. 

marcogallo1986

 I went to a job fair yesterday for disabled people, it was many many employers but I went around to talk with and give my resume to. The most in a job that I’ve been to in a long long time. So we shall see praying and hoping for the best. Always and staying positive. Then afterwords we’re out to lunch at a diner with my friend. Then went to a church group with her and her sister but they started going to a number of months ago. Was my first time going   And they meet once a month, and talk about different topics each month, this month was boundaries, found it very interesting and informative. Then went out this please that her sister and a friend of hers who I met yesterday for the first time was around our age suggested add myself some chili dogs and fries, and a nice ice cream sundae, I said hey I don’t do this every day so it’s fine. And still going to the gym twice a week with the trainer.   Just enjoying a living life to the full list. Have to see how the weather is later on today Saturday, as I write this, still hear the rain outside. Wanted to wash and clean borrow the Thunderbird, I know was gonna take all day to do it but the weather doesn’t cooperate will have to wait till next weekend. Ordered new wipers for on Thursday, and these sleeves that connect to the vent windows that need to be changed that are dry rotted and old. 

marcogallo1986

 So guys, that’s it for now will check in here later on today some more. Have a good weekend everybody, and happy belated Friday to all. 

marcogallo1986

 20 firefighter, sorry to hear about your wife’s job ending and her being laid off. Do I know the feeling, but yes what others have said one door closes another door will open that’s for sure. And staying positive helps tremendously. And keeping active. 

marcogallo1986

 Personally would prefer leasing, but twitch his own whatever works for you do it. Have to see the new Ultima they did a great job with it. My friend that I went to the job fair yesterday got one in the beginning of February and nice dark blue color SVE model interior is not bad. I think it’s better than the new Samanna coming out but you’re able to sit in at the New York auto show. Definitely better than the Camrys interior. And it drives good to has a direct injection engine now which   Sounds good under acceleration even when punching it. Also the CPT is sorted out nice weather programming is is the best one but they done yet next to the Maxima that my mom had. 

marcogallo1986

 Oh never mentioned from last week, was very very disappointed with GM’s truck interiors on the new Silverado. I thought they would’ve gotten their act together personally was very very disappointed the way everything felt. Ford and Dodge even Nissan had green truck interiors. The Ranger was nothing special to write home about but was nice. Toyota had horrible truck interiors that tundra needs to be updated big-time 

marcogallo1986

 I don’t get it, GM did the Blazers interior nice, in my opinion, and two of the Cadillac models have nice interiors. But the new Cadillac XT six coming out which were able to sit in that horrible interior don’t get it. You would think this year a lot of the same interior parts and stuff. 

marcogallo1986

 Even the Camaro they finally improved the interior it’s not so plasticky anymore in this generation glad they refreshed it. 

marcogallo1986

 So then bro, maybe should just stay the course with the Rihanna since you like it so much, yes we definitely will stay tuned in here and see what develops in the upcoming months. Have a good weekend man. 

marcogallo1986

Lol  how to love the voice dictation and the above comment that I posted on believable makes me laugh every time love it.  Lol 

mjfloyd1

@qbrozen sorry to hear of the passing of your dad. 

My comments on surgery:

1) minor surgery is surgery on someone else

2) surgery is like (the holiday formerly known as) Christmas- it is better to give than to receive. 

tjc78

@qbrozen
Very sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace.

carnaught

28firefighter said:

I actually like Denver quite a bit. I think realistically, if we moved, it would be back east - Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Columbus etc.

Best of luck for a quick resolution to wife’s job situation.

roadburner

My condolences, qbrozen. 

pensfan83

Familiar view for @28firefighter and myself.

rayainsw

I will add my condolences - qbrozen.
- Ray
Prayers for you & all the family ...

au1994

Sorry for your loss @qbrozen

carnaught

My condolences also for your loss @qbrozen. May your dad RIP.

sda

@qbrozen, so sorry to learn about your dad. My condolences to you and your family.

breld

Oh man @qbrozen - so sorry for your loss.  

My dad passed away 4 years ago, and one thing that I am very thankful for, particularly in hindsight, is that my brother and I (and our wives) were there by his bedside.  

corvette

marco, good luck with your job search!

28firefighter

pensfan83 said:

Familiar view for @28firefighter and myself.

Man, I miss Pittsburgh. Also that might be the cleanest I’ve ever seen Forbes Ave. 

marcogallo1986

Corvette  thank you!

pensfan83

We were cutting through to get to Shadyside and ran into commencement traffic. 14 years ago that was me.

28firefighter

pensfan83 said:

We were cutting through to get to Shadyside and ran into commencement traffic. 14 years ago that was me.

10 for me!

sda

28firefighter said:

pensfan83 said:

We were cutting through to get to Shadyside and ran into commencement traffic. 14 years ago that was me.

10 for me!

Youngsters! Enjoy and make the most of everyday. In less than a month I will be 60 and can’t believe how fast time has passed. I joke with my wife that I feel 18 and don’t know where all this responsibility came from!

qbrozen

Thank you, all.

The list of things to deal with seems endless. Our preacher didn’t call back today to set a day and time for service. My brother and I will have to go back up to north jersey on Monday for the cremation. Plan is to just have the ashes at the service and wake (at my house). 

Big tasks are barely underway. He swore up and down that everything was taken care of and we’d find all the paperwork in his safe. It just ain’t true. So far, I have located 3 bank accounts with little money and a stock account, which I have liquidated. We seem to be missing the biggest account of all, his 401K. When all is said and done, we’ll be lucky to have a few hundred K for my mom, it seems. And we still have no idea what that even means. I think we’ll wind up buying her a ranch near my sister and hire a care worker. Of course, no matter what, we have to deal with selling off most of their possessions and the house. Crazy times.

Michaell

qbrozen said:

Thank you, all.

The list of things to deal with seems endless. Our preacher didn’t call back today to set a day and time for service. My brother and I will have to go back up to north jersey on Monday for the cremation. Plan is to just have the ashes at the service and wake (at my house). 

Big tasks are barely underway. He swore up and down that everything was taken care of and we’d find all the paperwork in his safe. It just ain’t true. So far, I have located 3 bank accounts with little money and a stock account, which I have liquidated. We seem to be missing the biggest account of all, his 401K. When all is said and done, we’ll be lucky to have a few hundred K for my mom, it seems. And we still have no idea what that even means. I think we’ll wind up buying her a ranch near my sister and hire a care worker. Of course, no matter what, we have to deal with selling off most of their possessions and the house. Crazy times.

Hang in there, q.

Just take it one step at a time, and prepare for setbacks. It took almost 18 months to settle my MILs estate.

corvette

qbrozen said:

...swore up and down that everything was taken care of and we’d find all the paperwork in his safe. It just ain’t true.

Sadly, that's all too common. Hope you're able to get things sorted out.

stickguy

the double whammy. Dealing with the loss, then having to pick up the pieces.

as a PSA, even though it can be uncomfortable, at some point when you still can, should sit down with the parents (and do one yourself for your kids) and do what we called "the magic spreadsheet'. My sister and I sat at their dining room table and made them pull out everything. Contacts, phone numbers, and listed out every account (including account number and phone numbers). All the bills they pay, every insurance policy, 401K and IRAs. It was surprising how many different things they had, some of which they almost forgot until they pulled stuff out of the file cabinet. Final wishes too.

really did not take that long, but at the end, they had some stuff to clean up, and we had a handle on it all. A year later when my mom passed away, I just had to pull out the spreadsheet and use it as a checklist of who to call for what. Saved a ton of time and stress, for me and my dad.

And if the concern is not wanting the kids to know how much money there is, don't even need to include that. Just where it is!

stickguy

Michaell said:

qbrozen said:

Thank you, all.

The list of things to deal with seems endless. Our preacher didn’t call back today to set a day and time for service. My brother and I will have to go back up to north jersey on Monday for the cremation. Plan is to just have the ashes at the service and wake (at my house). 

Big tasks are barely underway. He swore up and down that everything was taken care of and we’d find all the paperwork in his safe. It just ain’t true. So far, I have located 3 bank accounts with little money and a stock account, which I have liquidated. We seem to be missing the biggest account of all, his 401K. When all is said and done, we’ll be lucky to have a few hundred K for my mom, it seems. And we still have no idea what that even means. I think we’ll wind up buying her a ranch near my sister and hire a care worker. Of course, no matter what, we have to deal with selling off most of their possessions and the house. Crazy times.

Hang in there, q.

Just take it one step at a time, and prepare for setbacks. It took almost 18 months to settle my MILs estate.

I had to help with it when my mom passed, but so much simpler with a surviving spouse. Then when my sister (single) died and I ended up being the executor I found out how much of a pain it was being the executor. That did take quite a while, waiting out the required holding period, then having to do the last years taxes. And dealing with her kids not being very good about sending stuff back to the lawyer. Thankfully it all got done eventually, and hers was pretty easy (no house or much in the way of possessions),

Michaell

stickguy said:

Michaell said:

qbrozen said:

Thank you, all.

The list of things to deal with seems endless. Our preacher didn’t call back today to set a day and time for service. My brother and I will have to go back up to north jersey on Monday for the cremation. Plan is to just have the ashes at the service and wake (at my house). 

Big tasks are barely underway. He swore up and down that everything was taken care of and we’d find all the paperwork in his safe. It just ain’t true. So far, I have located 3 bank accounts with little money and a stock account, which I have liquidated. We seem to be missing the biggest account of all, his 401K. When all is said and done, we’ll be lucky to have a few hundred K for my mom, it seems. And we still have no idea what that even means. I think we’ll wind up buying her a ranch near my sister and hire a care worker. Of course, no matter what, we have to deal with selling off most of their possessions and the house. Crazy times.

Hang in there, q.

Just take it one step at a time, and prepare for setbacks. It took almost 18 months to settle my MILs estate.

I had to help with it when my mom passed, but so much simpler with a surviving spouse. Then when my sister (single) died and I ended up being the executor I found out how much of a pain it was being the executor. That did take quite a while, waiting out the required holding period, then having to do the last years taxes. And dealing with her kids not being very good about sending stuff back to the lawyer. Thankfully it all got done eventually, and hers was pretty easy (no house or much in the way of possessions),

My sister and I are working through some things with my mom. She's transitioning from that "independent" phase to "semi-dependent". My sister already orders my moms groceries on-line and has them delivered. Next step is to take over the bill paying; neither of us are certain that everything is getting paid regularly, even though mom says she is paying stuff within a day or two of receipt.

My FIL's estate was pretty easy when he passed; not much in the way of assets, and he was fairly well organized (wife's parents had been divorced for many years).

stickguy

one of the things the lady at the hospital said was to have someone keep an eye on what my dad was doing until we were sure he was not messing anything up after the stroke. His wife will need to just double check whatever bills he is paying are correct.

the real issue is the doc won't clear him to drive yet. He needs to do some rehab first, then go to a rehab facility to take a test (they have a simulator and everything) before he can drive again. it was pretty much the first thing anyone talked about, and probably the only instruction he really paid attention too.

if he can't pass it, will be a huge lifesytle shock for them (his wife pretty much has given up driving and would only do it in an emergency). Plus he did lease his new car a few months ago. Poor timing on that! No clue what to do with that if he can't use it any longer.

Sandman6472

Q, so sorry to hear your sad news, a parents death is never easy. Good luck getting things settled. One small item ended up in my lap a few years ago after my dad had passed back in 1986. Just slipped through the cracks and then after my mom died in 2005, this trust account showed up. Went from one sibling to another, as the first two passed, and fell into my lap. Luckily having a wife whose a CPA helped with the taxes that were due over many years. We finally got it all right and was able to give the others what my dad intended. Trust me, some money and a dysfunctional family can be a bit tough! But in the end, I caved a bit just to get it over with but glad I did.
Again, condolences and just take things slow. It will eventually work out!

Sandman6472

I'm back!! Was refreshing to take some time off. Dealing with some bad allergies since mid February and have had enough. Having a procedure done on May 7th that should restore my breathing so I can move on. This getting older business has been a bit tricky!!
"Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?"

omarman

Sandman6472 said:

I'm back!! Was refreshing to take some time off. Dealing with some bad allergies since mid February and have had enough. Having a procedure done on May 7th that should restore my breathing so I can move on. This getting older business has been a bit tricky!!
"Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?"

Lol! That reminds me of James Corden's 'Carpool Karaoke' with Paul McCartney. Last summer I think?



Good luck to you with your procedure and to all of us with the "new" allergy seasons which are getting longer and more intense as temperatures rise.

breld

@qbrozen - hang in there. There’s no getting around it’s a difficult and emotional time in your life, but you’ve got a good head on your shoulders - sounds like you’re figuring out the next steps and I’m sure you’ll be a great help to your family in getting through this.

marcogallo1986

 Glad to see you back send man, if you hear everything‘s OK with you and your family, good luck with your procedure coming up that you have. I have to quit one of these spreadsheets myself and I will and putting it off even though I’m young best to have this done it’s just life and keep telling my parents that to have to really get on them they haven’t done a thing. God for bid to make our lives easier in the future. 

abacomike

carnaught said:

My condolences also for your loss @qbrozen. May your dad RIP.

Same for me, qbrozen. Losing our parents is part of the life cycle, but it hurts us all deep inside. I lost my Dad 4 years ago this coming July 1st. I took care of him during his dementia onset. Now that I have 4 years behind me after his passing, I forget about his final days and remember only his love, caring and nurturing. You, too, will fondly remember your Dad in the same way once you have lived with his passing for awhile.

May God Rest His Soul and May God give you the strength to carry on!

graphicguy

@qbrozen ....sincerest condolences. Your fond memories clearly will keep his spirit alive.

graphicguy

@nyccarguy ....how great to hear about a company that cares about their customers (Koni). That’s way too rare these days. Plus, I’ll remember them because of your experience if I’m in need of their products.

corvette

I was executor of my great aunt's estate (she passed away in 2017 and I finalized the estate in 2018). She was fairly well organized and had kept most of her faculties, considering she was 91.

They had kept every tax return they'd ever filed, as well as tons of bank records, etc. There were a few minor hiccups--she used to have an account with a local bank, then closed it, but kept all the records, so I had to double check with them to make sure there were no current accounts. Then, there was a safe deposit box key nobody could identify (I had already found everything I expected to find in the safe deposit box we knew about).

And, they held their investments with the institutional arm of a large brokerage, even though their account was much smaller than what would normally be considered an institutional account. The broker mainly handled securities for banks and credit unions, so wasn't used to dealing with probate, and he had to do some research to be able to do things like exercise death puts on her certificates of deposits. But, he was very gracious and allowed me to transfer everything to an estate account until I was ready to make a distribution. Since he doesn't normally handle individual accounts, I'm sure he probably could have told me to either liquidate everything, or sign up for an estate account with the retail side of the brokerage.

Inheritances and bequests are not considered taxable income to the recipient, but executor income is... I hope I never have to write checks that large to the feds and the state again!

nyccarguy

@qbrozen - make sure you get A LOT of copies of the death certificate.  

Sandman6472

Being an executor was really just a pain really but someone had to do it as there were taxes to pay and no one did a thing for a couple of years after my mom passed. I found some fraud so I had to see that that check was deposited into the correct account. My other siblings tried to hide about $32K from me but there's always a paper trail. Of course after I confronted them with what I had found, they each blamed the others. But I corrected the wrong and went on from then. A bit later, a sibling tried to say that my taking morphine for my spinal issues somehow turned me into a drug addict but guess the judge couldn't find a reason to have me taken off as executor and I eventually gave the one remaining sibling and the other widow and widower their 1/4 portion like I was supposed to.
Money and a dysfunctional family is a bad combination to begin with. Hopefully, you and your siblings won't result to any negativity down the road. That's why when I see people like Suzi Orman on t v telling folks to set up their "stuff" legally and correctly before they pass so their wishes will be followed to the letter without any nonsense going on. Luckily, my dad had spelled out what he wanted to happen with this one trust account and I followed that except giving my one last sibling his share upfront. I was supposed to keep it under my control and give it to him when I thought he was able to handle it. Decided that at 60 that it was his to do with what he wanted, the same one who tried to make me out as the "drug addict"! And that's what I did, gave it all to him. Now, we're done!

cdnpinhead

I've heard it said that you don't know anyone completely until you've watched them share an inheritance. My mother had a couple of tens of thousands left at the end, and it was a truly enlightening experience to see what happened when she passed. That, and much else, is how I've developed my swell attitude.

I need to get a trust set up this year. I have four kids of varying needs, two of whom are products of a mixed family. We have two dwellings, and I have a higher net worth than I ever imagined was possible in my younger years. I'm simplifying things as best I can, but will need the help of a lawyer before it's all over with.

See, I avoided any reference to politics, though inheritance taxes provide a rich target, to say nothing of, well, you know.