Chronic Car Buyers Anonymous (Archived)

nyccarguy · September 2023

@au1994 said:
@nyccarguy - How’s the Tacoma working out?

About that…

28firefighter · September 2023

@nyccarguy said:

@au1994 said:
@nyccarguy - How’s the Tacoma working out?

About that…

Oh no…

au1994 · September 2023

28firefighter said:

@nyccarguy said:

@au1994 said:
@nyccarguy - How’s the Tacoma working out?

About that…

Oh no…

Uh oh…did I miss a post??

nyccarguy · September 2023

@au1994 said:
@nyccarguy - How’s the Tacoma working out?

So Wednesday AM my wife gets a call from the “Head of School” at my son’s school. She tells my wife that Andre caused damage to another student’s vehicle and didn’t report it so she feels that Andre should have his driving privileges at school revoked for 3 months. My wife explains that there’s no other way we can get him to school and that there has to be an explanation for this. The woman then says; well how about 1 month?

My wife calls and tells me this. I hang up with her and call the “Head of School.” I apologize on behalf of my son. Ask her what happened. I asked her for the phone number for the other parents so I could work it out with them. I then assure her that the only thing that matters is that nobody got hurt. I then explain to her that I work in the city and have to be at work at 7:30 AM and that my wife is currently participating in an IOP program and can’t drive him either.

She tells me that she thinks the vehicle he’s driving is too big for him to handle and she questions his driving abilities. I told her that’s the vehicle we got for him because it is what we can afford. I also assured her that my wife and I wouldn’t have allowed him to take his road test if we didn’t think he was an excellent driver.

She then asks if we have another vehicle he can drive. Instead of arguing with her, I tell her we have a Jeep he can drive for 30 days.

So what happened? He put the car in reverse, checked the camera, looked down at the dash board for a sec, then started backing up without doing a second check over his shoulder or in the mirrors. He hit a girls car driving by.

The good. Minimal damage to the Tacoma. I’m not going to get it fixed for a while, but can get it done by where I work for $200. I spoke with the girl’s mom who could not have been nicer.

The bad. She took it to 2 body shops for an estimate. 1 place told her $3,700 and the other place $4,200.

au1994 · September 2023

nyccarguy said:

@au1994 said:
@nyccarguy - How’s the Tacoma working out?

So Wednesday AM my wife gets a call from the “Head of School” at my son’s school. She tells my wife that Andre caused damage to another student’s vehicle and didn’t report it so she feels that Andre should have his driving privileges at school revoked for 3 months. My wife explains that there’s no other way we can get him to school and that there has to be an explanation for this. The woman then says; well how about 1 month?

My wife calls and tells me this. I hang up with her and call the “Head of School.” I apologize on behalf of my son. Ask her what happened. I asked her for the phone number for the other parents so I could work it out with them. I then assure her that the only thing that matters is that nobody got hurt. I then explain to her that I work in the city and have to be at work at 7:30 AM and that my wife is currently participating in an IOP program and can’t drive him either.

She tells me that she thinks the vehicle he’s driving is too big for him to handle and she questions his driving abilities. I told her that’s the vehicle we got for him because it is what we can afford. I also assured her that my wife and I wouldn’t have allowed him to take his road test if we didn’t think he was an excellent driver.

She then asks if we have another vehicle he can drive. Instead of arguing with her, I tell her we have a Jeep he can drive for 30 days.

So what happened? He put the car in reverse, checked the camera, looked down at the dash board for a sec, then started backing up without doing a second check over his shoulder or in the mirrors. He hit a girls car driving by.

The good. Minimal damage to the Tacoma. I’m not going to get it fixed for a while, but can get it done by where I work for $200. I spoke with the girl’s mom who could not have been nicer.

The bad. She took it to 2 body shops for an estimate. 1 place told her $3,700 and the other place $4,200.

Ouch, my friend. We had a similar issue. Jr drifted over in a double turn and hit a CRV. His checking was 2400 lighter after that.

qbrozen · September 2023

nyccarguy said:

So Wednesday AM my wife gets a call from the “Head of School” at my son’s school. She tells my wife that Andre caused damage to another student’s vehicle and didn’t report it so she feels that Andre should have his driving privileges at school revoked for 3 months. My wife explains that there’s no other way we can get him to school and that there has to be an explanation for this. The woman then says; well how about 1 month?

My wife calls and tells me this. I hang up with her and call the “Head of School.” I apologize on behalf of my son. Ask her what happened. I asked her for the phone number for the other parents so I could work it out with them. I then assure her that the only thing that matters is that nobody got hurt. I then explain to her that I work in the city and have to be at work at 7:30 AM and that my wife is currently participating in an IOP program and can’t drive him either.

She tells me that she thinks the vehicle he’s driving is too big for him to handle and she questions his driving abilities. I told her that’s the vehicle we got for him because it is what we can afford. I also assured her that my wife and I wouldn’t have allowed him to take his road test if we didn’t think he was an excellent driver.

She then asks if we have another vehicle he can drive. Instead of arguing with her, I tell her we have a Jeep he can drive for 30 days.

So what happened? He put the car in reverse, checked the camera, looked down at the dash board for a sec, then started backing up without doing a second check over his shoulder or in the mirrors. He hit a girls car driving by.

The good. Minimal damage to the Tacoma. I’m not going to get it fixed for a while, but can get it done by where I work for $200. I spoke with the girl’s mom who could not have been nicer.

The bad. She took it to 2 body shops for an estimate. 1 place told her $3,700 and the other place $4,200.

So coincidental, I was just telling my son, who has started driving himself to school this week, about a very similar incident that happened to me my first year of driving to school. In my case, I know the kid was FLYING through the lot because there was nobody coming, I started backing up, then caught him out of the corner of my eye, applied the brakes, and managed to clip the REAR quarter panel of his car. That's a testament to how fast he was going. Anyway, I shared that with my son to beg him to be careful. Heading into and out of a parking lot full of new drivers is an ugly place to be.

qbrozen · September 2023

Saw this on facebook, so I can't take credit for it, but had to share it here.

sda · September 2023

nyccarguy said:

@au1994 said:
@nyccarguy - How’s the Tacoma working out?

So Wednesday AM my wife gets a call from the “Head of School” at my son’s school. She tells my wife that Andre caused damage to another student’s vehicle and didn’t report it so she feels that Andre should have his driving privileges at school revoked for 3 months. My wife explains that there’s no other way we can get him to school and that there has to be an explanation for this. The woman then says; well how about 1 month?

My wife calls and tells me this. I hang up with her and call the “Head of School.” I apologize on behalf of my son. Ask her what happened. I asked her for the phone number for the other parents so I could work it out with them. I then assure her that the only thing that matters is that nobody got hurt. I then explain to her that I work in the city and have to be at work at 7:30 AM and that my wife is currently participating in an IOP program and can’t drive him either.

She tells me that she thinks the vehicle he’s driving is too big for him to handle and she questions his driving abilities. I told her that’s the vehicle we got for him because it is what we can afford. I also assured her that my wife and I wouldn’t have allowed him to take his road test if we didn’t think he was an excellent driver.

She then asks if we have another vehicle he can drive. Instead of arguing with her, I tell her we have a Jeep he can drive for 30 days.

So what happened? He put the car in reverse, checked the camera, looked down at the dash board for a sec, then started backing up without doing a second check over his shoulder or in the mirrors. He hit a girls car driving by.

The good. Minimal damage to the Tacoma. I’m not going to get it fixed for a while, but can get it done by where I work for $200. I spoke with the girl’s mom who could not have been nicer.

The bad. She took it to 2 body shops for an estimate. 1 place told her $3,700 and the other place $4,200.

Ugh! Sorry to learn. Life lessons.

nyccarguy · September 2023

I also stressed to my son the dangers of parking lots and how you always need to keep your head on a swivel like R2D2.

So the irony is that now I’m driving a base SR Tacoma for the next month and he gets to drive to school in my $64,000 Wrangler.

Trying to look at this in a positive light. He’ll put a lot less miles on the Jeep than I or my wife would.

roadburner · September 2023

Like you said, at least no one was hurt. My son was at a friend's house in an unlit driveway and hit another kid's car with his '02. It happens. I paid for the damage out of pocket as well. The diving board bumpers on my son's car were unscathed.

stickguy · September 2023

bummer to hear. HS parking lots are a menace to start with, so both my kids only got to take well "patina'd" cars. and told to park in the back and wait for everyone else to leave first.

only issue was actually when my son's Contour was parked. his best friend was parked next to him and backed out, turned too soon, and creased the door. His dad made him pay to fix it as a lesson.

Your son's incident is also a good example of how useful rear cross path is, especially on something as long as a Pick Up. You can get a lot of truck out there before you can really see what is coming.

mine came in handy today in the Acura. Backing out of a parking spot at a restaurant, angled parking, on a bend in the lot. Pitch black, and raining, and there was a large SUV parked close to my right side. I start backing out after looking, and get a few feet out and someone pulls in tight to the cars and whips around the bend. The sensors "saw" well before the mirrors could so I had already hit the brakes before I got a visual. Probably would have stopped in time, and was backing up slow, but that extra second or 2 can really make the difference between a hit or a miss.

Also why it is good to back in when you can! Or pull through. But backing out in a tight, crowded parking lot, is always a highly risky move.

28firefighter · September 2023

It’s a learning experience. First to double and triple check before backing up and even then, creep until you have a full view. Also that no matter what, it’s always better to fess up when something bad happens, otherwise it gets worse. We all learn it at some point.

Maybe also suggest backing into the parking spot at school? I used to do that for the same reason @qbrozen mentioned - people would fly through the lot like they were playing MarioKart.

As you said, no one was hurt and that’s what matters.

28firefighter · September 2023

For the record, the only place I have ever parked that rivaled the risk level of a high school parking lot is my local Costco on a Saturday. And I’ve parked/tailgated at the Linc in Philly.

tjc78 · September 2023

@28firefighter said:
For the record, the only place I have ever parked that rivaled the risk level of a high school parking lot is my local Costco on a Saturday. And I’ve parked/tailgated at the Linc in Philly.

The Wawa in Wildwood on a Sat or Sun morning is not for the faint of heart.

You are right leaving an Eagles game from the Linc is also an experience.

jmonroe1 · September 2023

stickguy said:
bummer to hear. HS parking lots are a menace to start with, so both my kids only got to take well "patina'd" cars. and told to park in the back and wait for everyone else to leave first.

only issue was actually when my son's Contour was parked. his best friend was parked next to him and backed out, turned too soon, and creased the door. His dad made him pay to fix it as a lesson.

Your son's incident is also a good example of how useful rear cross path is, especially on something as long as a Pick Up. You can get a lot of truck out there before you can really see what is coming.

mine came in handy today in the Acura. Backing out of a parking spot at a restaurant, angled parking, on a bend in the lot. Pitch black, and raining, and there was a large SUV parked close to my right side. I start backing out after looking, and get a few feet out and someone pulls in tight to the cars and whips around the bend. The sensors "saw" well before the mirrors could so I had already hit the brakes before I got a visual. Probably would have stopped in time, and was backing up slow, but that extra second or 2 can really make the difference between a hit or a miss.

Also why it is good to back in when you can! Or pull through. But backing out in a tight, crowded parking lot, is always a highly risky move.

————————————————
I’ve found that head in parking and backing out is safer than pulling out especially with Mrs. j’s 2018 Legacy that has a very good wide angle backup camera. It’s a good bit better than my 2015 Genny. I can see quite a few feet both left and right of the rear bumper when backing out. Pulling out head first doesn’t give me nearly as much left and right view until I’m committed more than I like to be.

BTW, what ever happened to taking the school bus to and from school?

jmonroe

28firefighter · September 2023

I know some major cities do not provide school buses for high schoolers and instead recommend public transit, biking, walking, or driving. Believe Seattle Public Schools is in that bucket.

Also private schools get fairly inconsistent bus service.

qbrozen · September 2023

Our town doesn’t have a high school. A few buses from the next town come to pick up all the kids here. They limit the number of pickups, so there is typically one stop on the through road outside each neighborhood. And the school is about 20 mins away. I certainly understand why most of the kids here drive. And they can’t carpool because the law here is that you can’t have more than 1 non-family passenger for your first year of having a license.

stickguy · September 2023

My kids just didn’t want to! Plus my son especially did after school activities (band) and rarely came home at a normal time so we often had to go pick him up.

nyccarguy · September 2023

Due to his Autism, we send my oldest son to a private school. They don't provide transportation. Although the cynic in me says for what they charge there should be a black car waiting to pick him up in the morning and drop him off in the afternoon. In order to get transportation paid for by our school district would require litigation. We are in the process of pursuing legal action against the school district to pay for part of my son's private education.

kyfdx · September 2023

nyccarguy said:
Due to his Autism, we send my oldest son to a private school. They don't provide transportation. Although the cynic in me says for what they charge there should be a black car waiting to pick him up in the morning and drop him off in the afternoon. In order to get transportation paid for by our school district would require litigation. We are in the process of pursuing legal action against the school district to pay for part of my son's private education.

Pretty bold of the administrator to impugn a 17 yr old's driving ability over a parking lot fender bender.

nyccarguy · September 2023

kyfdx said:

nyccarguy said:
Due to his Autism, we send my oldest son to a private school. They don't provide transportation. Although the cynic in me says for what they charge there should be a black car waiting to pick him up in the morning and drop him off in the afternoon. In order to get transportation paid for by our school district would require litigation. We are in the process of pursuing legal action against the school district to pay for part of my son's private education.
Pretty bold of the administrator to impugn a 17 yr old's driving ability over a parking lot fender bender.

Yes. I agree. Especially an administrator at a school for neuro-divergent children. Driving is a big step towards independence and responsibility for regular teens, but especially for children like my son. Believe me, I had to bite my tongue to NOT give her a piece of my mind. I didn't want to argue and then have my son NOT be able to drive to school. It is a private school with a student handbook and code of conduct that states driving on campus is a privilege... She also made it seem A LOT worse than it was. The girl freaked out and drove away. I spoke to my son about it later and he told me what happened. I also noticed today that the Tacoma's backup camera doesn't show the corners of the bumpers. I'll have to point this out to my son and make sure he looks over his shoulder and checks his mirrors. Would the backup sensors & rear cross traffic detection have helped in this case? Yes.

Again, trying to see the positives here. NOBODY got hurt. I think my son who is a very cautious driver (in a good way) will become an even more cautious parker. The "accident" did happen in a controlled environment (school parking lot). I worked everything out with the other parent who was extremely sympathetic and level headed.

Michaell · September 2023

Accidents happen. If this is the worst that happens to your son during HS, and he becomes a better driver because of it, then all the better.

I've regaled everyone here about my stepson's foray into driving himself to and from school when he turned 16. I'm just glad I haven't had to read about any similar accidents from anyone's kids (or grandkids) on this thread.

nyccarguy · September 2023

Michaell said:
Accidents happen. If this is the worst that happens to your son during HS, and he becomes a better driver because of it, then all the better.

I've regaled everyone here about my stepson's foray into driving himself to and from school when he turned 16. I'm just glad I haven't had to read about any similar accidents from anyone's kids (or grandkids) on this thread.

100%

breld · September 2023

@nyccarguy - every situation is different of course, but many years ago my wife had to pursue legal action against the school district with regard to the programs available for her son. It’s no fun to have to do that, but the end result was the implementation of an entirely new program at his high school. My impression is the school/district will not act on their own, but it only had to get to a mitigation process with an attorney involved before they started responding.

Best of luck…it’s tough but you clearly have the best attitude.

oldfarmer50 · September 2023

nyccarguy said:

@au1994 said:
@nyccarguy - How’s the Tacoma working out?

So Wednesday AM my wife gets a call from the “Head of School” at my son’s school. She tells my wife that Andre caused damage to another student’s vehicle and didn’t report it so she feels that Andre should have his driving privileges at school revoked for 3 months. My wife explains that there’s no other way we can get him to school and that there has to be an explanation for this. The woman then says; well how about 1 month?

My wife calls and tells me this. I hang up with her and call the “Head of School.” I apologize on behalf of my son. Ask her what happened. I asked her for the phone number for the other parents so I could work it out with them. I then assure her that the only thing that matters is that nobody got hurt. I then explain to her that I work in the city and have to be at work at 7:30 AM and that my wife is currently participating in an IOP program and can’t drive him either.

She tells me that she thinks the vehicle he’s driving is too big for him to handle and she questions his driving abilities. I told her that’s the vehicle we got for him because it is what we can afford. I also assured her that my wife and I wouldn’t have allowed him to take his road test if we didn’t think he was an excellent driver.

She then asks if we have another vehicle he can drive. Instead of arguing with her, I tell her we have a Jeep he can drive for 30 days.

So what happened? He put the car in reverse, checked the camera, looked down at the dash board for a sec, then started backing up without doing a second check over his shoulder or in the mirrors. He hit a girls car driving by.

The good. Minimal damage to the Tacoma. I’m not going to get it fixed for a while, but can get it done by where I work for $200. I spoke with the girl’s mom who could not have been nicer.

The bad. She took it to 2 body shops for an estimate. 1 place told her $3,700 and the other place $4,200.

So this girl saw a car backing out and just proceeded without a care in the world. I have that happen all the time when backing up and I’m always prepared for that because the backer is usually deemed at fault even if the other person is driving like a dope.

roadburner · September 2023

nyccarguy said:

kyfdx said:

nyccarguy said:
Due to his Autism, we send my oldest son to a private school. They don't provide transportation. Although the cynic in me says for what they charge there should be a black car waiting to pick him up in the morning and drop him off in the afternoon. In order to get transportation paid for by our school district would require litigation. We are in the process of pursuing legal action against the school district to pay for part of my son's private education.
Pretty bold of the administrator to impugn a 17 yr old's driving ability over a parking lot fender bender.
Yes. I agree. Especially an administrator at a school for neuro-divergent children. Driving is a big step towards independence and responsibility for regular teens, but especially for children like my son. Believe me, I had to bite my tongue to NOT give her a piece of my mind. I didn't want to argue and then have my son NOT be able to drive to school. It is a private school with a student handbook and code of conduct that states driving on campus is a privilege... She also made it seem A LOT worse than it was. The girl freaked out and drove away. I spoke to my son about it later and he told me what happened. I also noticed today that the Tacoma's backup camera doesn't show the corners of the bumpers. I'll have to point this out to my son and make sure he looks over his shoulder and checks his mirrors. Would the backup sensors & rear cross traffic detection have helped in this case? Yes.

Again, trying to see the positives here. NOBODY got hurt. I think my son who is a very cautious driver (in a good way) will become an even more cautious parker. The "accident" did happen in a controlled environment (school parking lot). I worked everything out with the other parent who was extremely sympathetic and level headed.

I've found school administrators to be either exemplary or totally worthless; there's little middle ground.

oldfarmer50 · September 2023

28firefighter said:
I know some major cities do not provide school buses for high schoolers and instead recommend public transit, biking, walking, or driving. Believe Seattle Public Schools is in that bucket.

Also private schools get fairly inconsistent bus service.

Biking or walking to school in winter in the northeast can be a problem for kids today although I did it in high school after first delivering newspapers.

(It was uphill both ways)😂

roadburner · September 2023

I'm off to check out a few more Wranglers; I much prefer a 2 door(JL) over a 4 door (JLU) but the 2 doors are thin on the ground.

nyccarguy · September 2023

breld said:
@nyccarguy - every situation is different of course, but many years ago my wife had to pursue legal action against the school district with regard to the programs available for her son. It’s no fun to have to do that, but the end result was the implementation of an entirely new program at his high school. My impression is the school/district will not act on their own, but it only had to get to a mitigation process with an attorney involved before they started responding.

Best of luck…it’s tough but you clearly have the best attitude.

Thanks. I'm trying. It isn't easy, believe me. From what you've told us, your wife's son needs a tremendous amount of care and services. I'm glad things worked out in their favor. One of the biggest hurdles we faced was getting my son diagnosed with ASD in the 1st place. He is on the extremely high functioning end of the spectrum. He is intelligent and articulate to the point that most adults can't tell that he is neuro-divergent. Even the school district tested him and "didn't find any abnormalities." We had to spend a significant amount of money to have my son tested privately, then take legal action to get them to accept the results. Many of the other school districts in our area will offer services and act on their own, but where we live is a large "city" school district where they deny services and don't tell you what your rights are or what services are available that you may or may not qualify for. That's why we have had to hire a legal team (attorney, paralegal, advocate). Truthfully it is sad. The amount of money I pay in taxes and the amount of assistant superintendents that make over $200K per year, the superintendent who makes over $400K per year, they should be on our side working with us. It is evident their goal is to push my son through to graduate high school, while we want him to graduate and be on a path to be successful in life.

oldfarmer50 · September 2023

So how did he get accused of not reporting the accident? Did the girl keep going so he just left too?

28firefighter · September 2023

In case someone hasn’t told you recently, @nyccarguy, you’re doing a great job. Advocating for services is no joke in the best of cases - for something so tied up with emotions it is jam packed with administrative pitfalls. I watched my parents navigate this with my brother for his cerebral palsy and epilepsy.

Also. Your son will remember you went to bat for him with his teachers for this parking lot incident. My own dad did that for me in a couple cases as a kid, and they’re what I would consider core memories.

greg128 · September 2023

oldfarmer50 said:

greg128 said:

andres3 said:
An AMG Infiniti would make more sense since they shared some motors with Mercedes, but I believe that was limited to a 2.0T.
I had a Crossfire SRT with the AMG supercharged V-6. It was a fast & fun car and quite unique. I only saw 2 or three of them on the road in the 5 years I owned it. Sold in 2012.
That was my dream car except for the price and that I barely fit in it. I wouldn’t want to try to get one repaired these days.

I paid $24K for it with only 3000 miles in 2007. The original sticker was close to twice that amount. They sat on the lots for a couple of years because no one would pay over $45K for any Chrysler, even a disguised Mercedes AMG sports car.

nyccarguy · September 2023

oldfarmer50 said:
So how did he get accused of not reporting the accident? Did the girl keep going so he just left too?

Yes. That's what happened.

nyccarguy · September 2023

28firefighter said:
In case someone hasn’t told you recently, @nyccarguy, you’re doing a great job. Advocating for services is no joke in the best of cases - for something so tied up with emotions it is jam packed with administrative pitfalls. I watched my parents navigate this with my brother for his cerebral palsy and epilepsy.

Also. Your son will remember you went to bat for him with his teachers for this parking lot incident. My own dad did that for me in a couple cases as a kid, and they’re what I would consider core memories.

Thanks. We are trying. Unfortunately it isn't the only issue we are dealing with. We believe my daughter is also on the spectrum, again very high functioning. We enrolled her at a private Jewish day school in town with a lot of support and small class sizes. My wife has been hospitalized 2 separate times for a week in the last 4 weeks.

tjc78 · September 2023

Bradd,
You’ve had a rough few weeks all while running a family business. Hang in there! We are here for you to vent to!

roadburner · September 2023

greg128 said:

oldfarmer50 said:

greg128 said:

andres3 said:
An AMG Infiniti would make more sense since they shared some motors with Mercedes, but I believe that was limited to a 2.0T.
I had a Crossfire SRT with the AMG supercharged V-6. It was a fast & fun car and quite unique. I only saw 2 or three of them on the road in the 5 years I owned it. Sold in 2012.
That was my dream car except for the price and that I barely fit in it. I wouldn’t want to try to get one repaired these days.
I paid $24K for it with only 3000 miles in 2007. The original sticker was close to twice that amount. They sat on the lots for a couple of years because no one would pay over $45K for any Chrysler, even a disguised Mercedes AMG sports car.

My local (and now defunct) CDJR dealer also had an SRT Crossfire nailed to the showroom floor. I would have mase an offer had it not been black over black.

au1994 · September 2023

nyccarguy said:

breld said:
@nyccarguy - every situation is different of course, but many years ago my wife had to pursue legal action against the school district with regard to the programs available for her son. It’s no fun to have to do that, but the end result was the implementation of an entirely new program at his high school. My impression is the school/district will not act on their own, but it only had to get to a mitigation process with an attorney involved before they started responding.

Best of luck…it’s tough but you clearly have the best attitude.
Thanks. I'm trying. It isn't easy, believe me. From what you've told us, your wife's son needs a tremendous amount of care and services. I'm glad things worked out in their favor. One of the biggest hurdles we faced was getting my son diagnosed with ASD in the 1st place. He is on the extremely high functioning end of the spectrum. He is intelligent and articulate to the point that most adults can't tell that he is neuro-divergent. Even the school district tested him and "didn't find any abnormalities." We had to spend a significant amount of money to have my son tested privately, then take legal action to get them to accept the results. Many of the other school districts in our area will offer services and act on their own, but where we live is a large "city" school district where they deny services and don't tell you what your rights are or what services are available that you may or may not qualify for. That's why we have had to hire a legal team (attorney, paralegal, advocate). Truthfully it is sad. The amount of money I pay in taxes and the amount of assistant superintendents that make over $200K per year, the superintendent who makes over $400K per year, they should be on our side working with us. It is evident their goal is to push my son through to graduate high school, while we want him to graduate and be on a path to be successful in life.

Jeez. Maybe its not too late for me to consider a career in education given those salaries.

au1994 · September 2023

tjc78 said:
Bradd,

You’ve had a rough few weeks all while running a family business. Hang in there! We are here for you to vent to!

100%. Hope you get a chance to kick back with the beverage of your choice this weekend and decompress a bit.

Michaell · September 2023

au1994 said:

nyccarguy said:

breld said:
@nyccarguy - every situation is different of course, but many years ago my wife had to pursue legal action against the school district with regard to the programs available for her son. It’s no fun to have to do that, but the end result was the implementation of an entirely new program at his high school. My impression is the school/district will not act on their own, but it only had to get to a mitigation process with an attorney involved before they started responding.

Best of luck…it’s tough but you clearly have the best attitude.
Thanks. I'm trying. It isn't easy, believe me. From what you've told us, your wife's son needs a tremendous amount of care and services. I'm glad things worked out in their favor. One of the biggest hurdles we faced was getting my son diagnosed with ASD in the 1st place. He is on the extremely high functioning end of the spectrum. He is intelligent and articulate to the point that most adults can't tell that he is neuro-divergent. Even the school district tested him and "didn't find any abnormalities." We had to spend a significant amount of money to have my son tested privately, then take legal action to get them to accept the results. Many of the other school districts in our area will offer services and act on their own, but where we live is a large "city" school district where they deny services and don't tell you what your rights are or what services are available that you may or may not qualify for. That's why we have had to hire a legal team (attorney, paralegal, advocate). Truthfully it is sad. The amount of money I pay in taxes and the amount of assistant superintendents that make over $200K per year, the superintendent who makes over $400K per year, they should be on our side working with us. It is evident their goal is to push my son through to graduate high school, while we want him to graduate and be on a path to be successful in life.
Jeez. Maybe its not too late for me to consider a career in education given those salaries.

I think I live in the most dysfunctional school district in the country (look it up - there have been national media articles on "Douglas County Colorado School District").

When I moved here, the district was one of the top performing in the state, if not the country. People flocked here specifically because of the schools.

What happened? Politics. COVID. Infighting amongst the school board. Firing the superintendent without casue. Racking up hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal bills and lawsuit settlements. Now, teachers are fleeing for other, better paying districts.

I'm glad my stepkids are long past attending schools here.

jmonroe1 · September 2023

stickguy said:
My kids just didn’t want to! Plus my son especially did after school activities (band) and rarely came home at a normal time so we often had to go pick him up.

————————————————
“Not wanting to” isn’t a good enough reason for me.

Son #1 got his drivers license just before Mrs. j’s aunt decided to get another car and give my son, her oldest great nephew, her ‘74 Olds Omega 2 door in 1985 with not even 24K miles on it. It had the Olds 350 Rocket V8, which could really move that thing. It even had a vinyl top and AC that could make you feel like a popsicle. Although the car was in almost perfect shape (just a few scrapes near the rear bumper from hitting a pole in her high rise parking garage), I didn’t want him to have it because I knew he’d want to take it to school. But, it was too good of a car to just let her trade it in and get almost nothing for it, so I agreed to take it but he was told he wasn’t going to take it to school.

That worked until he decided to get around that by signing up for a few after school activities. I told him to drop those activities but I was reminded that taking them looked good on a resume and when applying to college. So he out smarted me. But he didn’t take the car to school all the time until he was well into his senior year when I felt he was a good enough driver (I have to admit he was pretty good right from the start) to know the hazards of a school parking lot and to be on guard constantly because not all of the kids were as good as he was. Even he didn’t like the idea of parking his beauty in the school parking lot and having it dinged up when kids weren’t careful about how they opened their doors.

FWIW, our school district had an “activities bus” until the start of his junior year. So the school gods contributed to his conniving.

jmonroe

tjc78 · September 2023

My school didn’t have a parking lot. We all parked on the side streets surrounding the school. That was fun.

kyfdx · September 2023

tjc78 said:
My school didn’t have a parking lot. We all parked on the side streets surrounding the school. That was fun.

It's the same way at our local high school. Plus, no bus service.

nyccarguy · September 2023

@au1994 said:
100%. Hope you get a chance to kick back with the beverage of your choice this weekend and decompress a bit.

Thanks. I’ve got Cider in the fridge and a nice bottle of clase azúl on the counter. That reminds me that I need to refill my gummies. I’ve got to straighten up the house, fill out some scholarship applications for my daughter, pick my wife up from the train station (she went into the city to see a play with her Mom), & cook dinner. Maybe later.

jmonroe1 · September 2023

nyccarguy said:

28firefighter said:
In case someone hasn’t told you recently, @nyccarguy, you’re doing a great job. Advocating for services is no joke in the best of cases - for something so tied up with emotions it is jam packed with administrative pitfalls. I watched my parents navigate this with my brother for his cerebral palsy and epilepsy.

Also. Your son will remember you went to bat for him with his teachers for this parking lot incident. My own dad did that for me in a couple cases as a kid, and they’re what I would consider core memories.

Thanks. We are trying. Unfortunately it isn't the only issue we are dealing with. We believe my daughter is also on the spectrum, again very high functioning. We enrolled her at a private Jewish day school in town with a lot of support and small class sizes. My wife has been hospitalized 2 separate times for a week in the last 4 weeks.

————————————————
That’s piling on already. I’m sure you know we’re a good sounding board if that means anything.

Good luck.

jmonroe

ab348 · September 2023

oldfarmer50 said:

So this girl saw a car backing out and just proceeded without a care in the world. I have that happen all the time when backing up and I’m always prepared for that because the backer is usually deemed at fault even if the other person is driving like a dope.

My thoughts exactly. I often get the same treatment in parking lots. I will start backing out carefully, get 3’ to 5’ out into the lane, and some bozo will swoop around behind me. I mean, how hard can it be to see a shiny red Caddy?

au1994 · September 2023

ab348 said:

oldfarmer50 said:

So this girl saw a car backing out and just proceeded without a care in the world. I have that happen all the time when backing up and I’m always prepared for that because the backer is usually deemed at fault even if the other person is driving like a dope.
My thoughts exactly. I often get the same treatment in parking lots. I will start backing out carefully, get 3’ to 5’ out into the lane, and some bozo will swoop around behind me. I mean, how hard can it be to see a shiny red Caddy?

I think this is a new thing, post COVID. Common courtesy is just not that common anymore.

This happens to me all the time in parking lots now.

roadburner · September 2023

My favorite school administrator story is from my days as a judge. A principal charged a student’s parents with educational neglect because their kid was frequently absent. At trial it was shown that the absences were due to a chronic medical condition, but the on top of that the kid was on the all A honor roll. I told the principal that I wished more parents were as educationally neglectful.
In all fairness, most all of the school officials and teachers I worked with were top notch, but there are always a few that make you wonder.

explorerx4 · September 2023

Rear Cross Traffic Alert is very handy.

breld · September 2023

I ran out of patience to get into my next EV. 2.5 years in the Polestar and I was ready for something different.

I went so far as to order an inventory Model Y at a great discount, but ended up changing my mind at the last minute. I continue to prefer the EV driving experience Tesla offers, but chose to go with a bit more (IMO) luxury feel.

Unlike my wife, I am very unoriginal when it comes to colors.

imidazol97 · September 2023

I watched a lot of high school parking lot accidents while waiting for my son during the summer school sessions. He took some classes then so he could have band class and still do the AP math and science classes during the year. The parking lot if a free for all with the students rushing out of the doors, anxious to get home or free from school. Minor bumps and crashes all because of poor judgement and inexperience.

I'm glad nccarguy's son and the other driver weren't hurt. The school needs to have rules but needs to make the experience, bad as it was later, into a learning experience for life for both of the youngins. Less emphasize on the punishment. Seems the parents had it right.

I recall one young lady pulling in next to son's black Cobalt during the school year parking. She scraped the side of the rear (plastic bumper) and rubbed a little into the metal between the rear door and wheel opening. Her Explorer was all plastic bumper, so no real damage.

I saw the car when son parked in drive at home with the white gravel dust scraped on the side with gouges into the paint. He hadn't noticed it when he came out to get into car. He remembered who was parked next to him--he's in band, she's in Color Guard. Called parents. Mom went out and checked bumper on the Explorer. Showed rub marks. Dad came and measured height of rub marks on Cobalt. No problem. Handled between us. She was a petit little thing and sat low on the seat and may not have even known she rubbed lightly against the side of the Cobalt as the did a 180 degree turn into the parking space.

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