I've never felt pressured into anything on any cruise we've ever taken.
Oh, but you are used to being asked for extras like mop n glo and things like that.
I guess it is a technique that is used so much in business these days. I bought a pretty expensive watch for my wife for her birthday last month and while we are waiting to have the band sized the salesman offers to clean her diamond ring. Did a nice job, and then tells us we can buy the same cleaner for just $10. What can you say at that point.....no, I have spent over $1000 for the watch, I am a cheap ------d and don't want to spend an extra 10 bucks to keep my wife's wedding ring clean.
Just let me buy what I came in for.
On the ship, most things are optional, and you can't go without spending at least a few hundred dollars on things. But, you have to be on guard to know whether you are being conned all the time. For example they have an auditorium to tell you about sites to see at the next stop. About 10% is useful information. About 90% is where you can shop (so they get a commission) and what tours you can buy from the cruise ship.
In China we saw where they make jewellery, pearl necklesses, onyx stuff, and in Turkey weaving rugs....all of limited interest, but then fighting off the salespeople becomes really tiring. We had to carefully plan our escape from the rug guy, after they give you tea and a pastry (said it would be lunch).
Cruising is a great way to see a lot of stops in a very easy and cost efficient way, and overall it is very enjoyable. I just don't like the constant selling and having to be on guard about how they are trying to extract money from me.
By the way, the premium restaraunts are usually pretty good and make a nice change. But things like taking your picture every time you get on and off the ship and at every dinner so you can buy the pictures later gets ridiculous after awhile.
IIRC the maximum tax rate went from 3 to 5 percent? At what income steps do the various rates occur? What is the step for the typical $50,000 income and what deductions apply to that? IOW, does someone with $80,000 end up paying lower percents on the first 60$,000 but paying 5 percent only on the last $20,000?
I think Ohio's tax rate hits maximum at $201,000. This is after 5 years out of 5 of a set of tax reductions:
And those adjusted figures from line 37 of IRS 1040 (isn't line already adjusted by some deductions on IRS 1040) minus $1600 per person. Then tax is computed and credits against tax taken of $20 per per. And then a marriage penalty is deducted against tax.
So person at $45,000 has a tax bill before credits of $374 and 3.7% of essentially nothing at the marginal rate of 3.7 over $40,000. From there to $85K they pay up to a max of $1121.
So I'm interested in what the steps and actual tax total rate looks like for the Illinois new forms.
It certainly is. My wife and I bought long-term care policies. The premiums aren't cheap, but at least our assets are protected for each other. I've seen too many people lose everything and the spouse end up on welfare. It's a sad state of affairs.
While I agree that it is best to stay in your own home as long as possible, that is not always the reality of the situaiton. When you can't lift the person or help them to the bath room or manage the medicines, you have a major problem. Hiring a 24/7 nursing staff will cost more than the monthly payment to the nursing home. It's a Catch 22. A nursing home runs from $5k to $7k per month. A 24/7 nursing staff runs from $21,000 to $30,000 per month. That figure is based on $30-$40 per hour for 24 hours for 30 days.
The sad part is that the average person can't afford either. Those persons who die suddenly are actually very fortunate. The remainder must face some pretty dismal prospects. Also, don't ever count on your children taking care of you. Theye are among the first to slap you in a nursing home. :sick:
I'll keep reminding the kids that if I end up in a home there will be nothing to inherit....
That's the way it will be for me and my siblings. My parents just couldn't stay on their own any longer even with someone coming over during the day and us kids stopping by frequently.
First it was assisted living, but mom kept falling so they said it was too dangerous for her. We found a great adult family home that works quite well because of her other health issues.
My dad is pretty heavy and after a trip to the hospital to remove a tumor on his bladder, he can no longer stand or transfer himself. A nursing home was necessary after the surgery and while going through radiation. However, now he's stuck there because he needs a lift to get him from bed to wheel chair. There's more to it but who needs those details? :sick:
Now we have to pay for him out of pocket and the cost is 9-10k per month. Mom's is around 3-4k. They had a lot saved up but it will be gone at some point.
I just took my mom over to see him today. They miss each other so much. My sister, brother and I take turns each Sunday doing that.
All too familiar story. My folks managed between long term insurance and savings to make it to the end though not much was left other than the house.
OTOH my FIL had Alzheimer's and ended up in a home on Medicaid. My MIL essentially got to pre-pay her own funeral and the feds got the rest. The feds really lost a lot of money on that deal so it's not like we can complain.
MIL is still around. Will be 90 in May. Lives with my wife's sister and her family. I guess if it got to where she couldn't stay there the feds would be there to pick up that but here's nothing left to tap.
You think the cost of tough - doesn't compare with the cost of dying! Unless you are one of those lucky ones that just drop. I'm planning on living forever - it's all I can afford.
2015 Mazda 6 Grand Touring, 2014 Mazda 3 Sport Hatchback, 1999 Mazda Miata 2004 Toyota Camry LE, 1999.
"I just took my mom over to see him today. They miss each other so much. My sister, brother and I take turns each Sunday doing that. "
Geez Tallman,
Gosh I feel for you. While my bros and I had to drag Dad out of the bush on a toboggan because of a fatal bush accident (which I witnessed ) (he was the kindest, most gentle man I have ever known) when I was only 13, many years later I had to lift Mom in and out of her hospital bed to set her on the potty. My back has been bad for years, but i am fairly muscular, and I levered her, once positioning my elbows at the edge of the bed as a fulcrum point, and did a bicep curl with her. Poor Mom, she knew my back was the shyte, but i tried to reassure her I was fine. And i really was fine. My concern for her literally dominated my thoughts and neutralized my own pain. Her pain (pancreatic cancer) was so much worse than mine
My bros and SIL and me, took shifts so that she did not have to be alone. Mom was such an incredible little woman. She literally reversed heart disease using the Dr Dean Ornish plan, just so that her poor little heart was stronger to make her suffer longer just to die of pancreatic cancer. Please pardon me if I feel like voicing my absolute damage of faith as certain religious followers would like us to believe through man's interpretation. (make that probable misinterpretation) I believe that a super power created us and am perfectly ok to call him God, and believe He likely did create us, but then set us on our own and whatever will be, will be....and has been.
My point, Tallman, is that I truly feel for you. Grasp inner strength and hang in there. You will live with no regrets and be able to say that you did the very best you could do. And you will tap inner strength beyond what you thought possible.
Thanks, gimme. I feel a lot more sorry for them than I do for us. I wish we could get them in one place together. We just need to find an adult family home that can do the heavy lifting of my dad.
I do know about sore backs though. When he could still stand, I'd take him to all his medical appointments. He'd get from his electric wheelchair to the car and then I'd help him stand and climb in. There just isn't an easy angle to provide the right kind of support and completely protect your back. He was over 300 lbs then.
And finally... my dad misses his car the most. (Just to keep it close to the right topic.)
Now he rides the transit shuttle so he just stays in the chair and they use the lift. Waiting for those isn't fun but thank goodness our county has a fairly decent shuttle program for those who need it.
One thing of which I am very grateful is that I've got siblings to help out. Those who are an "only child" have it much worse.
. Also, don't ever count on your children taking care of you.
I agree completely, there is a time to go into a home. My MIL is 96, lives in her own 2 story house, shovels snow, cuts grass, looks after the garden, goes to the gym twice a week, travels, can use the computer, etc.
That is a goal to aim for. No drain on 5 children at all. She is a positive nice person with lots of friends.
Much better than being in a home.
Sometimes, you could stay in your own home longer with someone coming in for a few hours a day or a week, at a much lower rate, just to help with groceries and meals. Of course, if things progress to a more serious state a home is going to be required.
I told my wife she can put me in a home if I know what is going on. If I am out of it then just pull the plug, I would rather she use whatever savings there are to live the rest of her life as comfortably as possible - she is just not allowed to remarry
If I go first, I want my wife to remarry. She will then realize that she had the best all of these years.
That is funny!
I just don't want some other guy driving around in my car!
Reminds me of the guy who asks his wife if he died would she marry again. *She says, yes, I guess I would. He says, but would you let him sleep in my bed? *She says, ah, well, yes, I guess I would. He says, but would you let him use my golf clubs? *She says, "No, because he is left handed".
Cruising is a great way to see a lot of stops in a very easy and cost efficient way, and overall it is very enjoyable.
We went on one cruise (November 2001) and neither of us thought much of it but finally did one just to find out what we were missing. Don’t get me wrong it was nice but not nice enough to do it again anytime soon.
I just don't like the constant selling and having to be on guard about how they are trying to extract money from me.
I have a fix for that. We also got tired (very tired) of the picture taking at the dinner table. On about the 4th night I said, “I’d appreciate it if you don’t include me in this table photo. Touch it up somehow. I’m a drug dealer and I don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands. One of the reasons I’m on this cruise is because I think the FBI or some other agency is looking for me. I don’t want anyone waiting for me when I get off this boat at the next stop”. You should have seen the look on one of the couple’s faces when they heard that. One guy that had been on 20 something cruises (obviously he likes them) said, “I like that, I’m gonna start using something like that. This is one part of cruises that I really dislike”.
After he said that everyone started laughing and Mrs. jmonroe said, “I know what you’re like but I don’t think you should have said that but the look on John and Janes face was priceless. Just say something else the next time, OK. Better yet, just sit there and smile and don’t say anything.”
I asked the photographer if he got that couples reaction on film because I would have bought that pic, then. Two of them, glossy and all blown up too.
jmonroe
'15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl
Me too and so far the plan is working out pretty good.
I used to work in the nursing home industry so I know what you have been talking about is true.
My folks went to buy LTC insurance and they turned dad down because of a heart condition. Dumb on their part because he dies from a stroke brought on by that condition. They wouldn't have had to pay a cent.
Mom was accepted and paid a couple of grand a year for about 15 years for the insurance. We even had her place all her assets into a trust so the government couldn't get at it. Towards the end we tried to get her to think about a nursing home but she was stubborn and refused. She died at home on her own terms which was what she wanted.
So in the end there was no need for any insurance or trusts or anything else. Was still good to have the protection, kind of like an extended warranty on a car.
2019 Kia Soul+, 2015 Mustang GT, 2013 Ford F-150, 2000 Chrysler Sebring convertible
"...just pull the plug...live the rest of her life as comfortably as possible..."
After seeing what funerals/burials cost (with shameless upselling) I told my wife she is to put me in a large cardboard box and place it on the curb for the trash pickup. :sick:
2019 Kia Soul+, 2015 Mustang GT, 2013 Ford F-150, 2000 Chrysler Sebring convertible
“I’d appreciate it if you don’t include me in this table photo. Touch it up somehow.
I know what you mean. Somebody was telling a really interesting story at the dinner table and the young lady came around to the table for the 4th day in a row and asked us to all stand together so she could take our picture. I told her we've had enough pictures, now let us enjoy our dinner.
She looked stunned that we were turning down this incredible opportunity. I was being as pleasant as I could be under the circumstances, but enough is enough! :sick:
She who must be obeyed and I have preplanned and prepaid our funerals. Now when we pass away all that needs to be done is call the funeral palor.
Personally I like your ideal as I have always said "just stuff me in a hefty bag and put me out on trash day". However there are laws about such things.
2011 Hyundai Sonata, 2014 BMW 428i convertible, 2015 Honda CTX700D
Whenever I get those photographers I always tell them if they take my picture I get to take theres. I have a collection of photographs of photographers that have taken my picture.
2011 Hyundai Sonata, 2014 BMW 428i convertible, 2015 Honda CTX700D
As an only child, I know I'm lucky my parents didn't linger. My mother woke up one morning at age 83, had a heart attack and was gone. My stepdad wasn't as lucky and spent the last two months of his life walking around like a zombie and died at age 90. 6500.00 per month to keep him there.
Our son is also an only child so I guess I better be nice to him.
spent the last two months of his life walking around like a zombie and died at age 90.
That's what is hard about where my dad is living. There are residents who are way out of it. My dad is still all there mentally so it is hard when he has to live in a place like that.
There are others who have just physical issues so he's not alone. He's also developed some great relationships with the staff... and they have been wonderful to him. I think we've all read horror stories about care in nursing homes.
Wow, I don't understand all of the bad experiences?
On the cruises we've taken (probably 8), the photographer has showed up at our dinner table once or maybe twice. If we let him know we weren't interested, they would thank us and leave.
Of course, they were always present when we arrived at a destination and when we got back on board.
I suppose as with the car business, what really bothers some people is of little matter to others.
Wow, I don't understand all of the bad experiences?
I didn’t say it was bad, it just wasn’t for us.
I’ve said this before (when we were also off topic about this subject), since we had never been on a cruise (this was in 2001), ‘you know who’ thought we were missing something. So, to give it the best chance, I got a balcony room. It was very nice and if we ever go again I’ll do that again too.
Neither one of us said anything negative about the cruise while we were on it but as I was driving home from the airport, I remember this conversation:
Mrs. J: Would you go on another one?
Me: Do you want an honest answer?
Her: Of course. When did you ever hold back?
Me: It was Ok but I’m in no hurry to do it again.
Her: Me too.
After all we both had heard about how much we were missing about not taking a cruise; we both didn’t think we had missed much at all. Maybe it was the cruise line (Carnival) or where we had gone (Caribbean) but I’m not convinced of that. I’m not knocking it. It just wasn’t what we preferred.
jmonroe
'15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl
I suppose as with the car business, what really bothers some people is of little matter to others.
I think that is the thing isell, you were exposed to selling all day long so it comes naturally to you. Most people just want to get away from all of that when they go away on a vacation. It is like getting unsolicited telephone people selling you stuff. I suppose you can just say "No thank you", but I think it is an invasion of my privacy. Basically, if I want a picture taken I would be glad to ask for it....I don't appreciate people coming over and asking me to pose.
My friend got an unsolicited phone call from a moving company. He isn't moving, has no plans to move, and hasn't requested information about moving. When he said they were crazy for making unsolicited calls on behalf of a moving company and if he was moving he wouldn't use this company the woman told him he was very rude for not just answering in a polite manner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not knocking it. It just wasn’t what we preferred.
Cruising definitely is not for everyone. And, 10 years ago you were probably too young. It helps to be older.
Some people just like all the food and not having to think about anything for a few days. Some like the party atmosphere. Some like all the activities or just being in the sun.
We are not crazy about cruising at all, but to see a lot of different places it really makes sense. One room, no having to travel and coordinate hotels, no getting visas, no having to plan your own tour, safety traveling with experts, etc.........so it does have it's place.
We would not normally cruise either, but it would be difficult to see Turkey, Greece and Egypt doing it on your own, and it is difficult getting into Russia unless you are on a cruise ship. It depends on what you really want from a trip and on what kind of vacation you are looking for.
I do know a couple who took a Carnival cruise and swore it would be their last until they wre talked into taking a Holland American cruise severl years later. Totally different experience. They loved it.
What we like about a cruise is the huge value for the money and the ability to do whatever you want to do.
If you want to party, you can party. If you want to sit out on the deck and read a book you can do that. You can run laps on the upper deck, work out in the gym. You can smoke a cigar in the cigar lounge (not me!) you can gamble in the casino or sit in your room and enjoy the view.
If you don't feel like seeing the nightly show or dressing up for dinner, you don't have to etc.
I do know a couple who took a Carnival cruise and swore it would be their last until they wre talked into taking a Holland American cruise severl years later. Totally different experience. They loved it.
I have a retired brother who lives in Del Ray Beach FL and he also tried Carnival first but likes Princess better and he likes Bermuda where he has to depart from New York which costs a lot more than driving a little bit south to Miami and taking a cruise to the Caribbean. Mrs. j is considering a cruise with them but they haven’t homed in on a date yet.
Cruising is probably the type of vacation that everyone should try once just for the experience. I will say this, I couldn’t get over the people that had to get to the Mid-Night Buffet or they felt like they were being cheated. I went just to observe, the first night we were on the cruise. That, in itself, was a sight to be seen. I always thought I could pack away food but I’m a mere greenpea compared to most of the ones I saw at that buffet table that night. :confuse:
jmonroe
'15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl
j....I've noticed on cruises that the people who complain the most are the people who don't put much effort into having a good time. They expect the good time to come to them.
Bottom line, unless there's a total disaster (as there was recently with a cruise ship that had a fire and lost all power), you'd be pretty hard pressed not to have a good time on any of the big cruise lines.
Just took one with family, I'm actually looking to do another around March/April with just the girlfriend and me.
I've done Carnival, Holland America, Royal Caribbean. All were wonderful. Maybe change it up a bit and try Norwegian on their new "Epic".
Back in 1972, my dad bought a Ford Torino with the stripes & hood scoop with a very loud engine...worst car we ever owned!! On the way home from the dealer, the car stalled out & had to be towed back & got to drive a brand new Mustang for a few days. The car was never right & sucked the petrol worse than my mom's '72 Lincoln Continental. But that Torino was a nightmare & our 1st & last Ford product. Don't consider our 2 Lincoln Continental's Fords...really!
The Sandman :sick: :shades:
2023 Hyundai Kona Limited AWD (wife) / 2025 VW GTI (me) / 2019 Chevrolet Cruze Premier RS (daughter #1) / 2020 Hyundai Accent SE (daughter #2) / 2023 Subaru Impreza Base (son)
Looking to take a cruise in May & was wondering the best cruise for newbies? Luckily we live just north of Ft. Lauderdale so no flights will be involved. I've heard good things about the Dutch Lines. Since I'm partially disabled & need a cane for my mobility, what would be the best for a short cruise. T I A folks. GG please give me your thoughts also.
The Sandman :sick: :shades:
2023 Hyundai Kona Limited AWD (wife) / 2025 VW GTI (me) / 2019 Chevrolet Cruze Premier RS (daughter #1) / 2020 Hyundai Accent SE (daughter #2) / 2023 Subaru Impreza Base (son)
Why not populate our Travel Advice discussion with your suggestions?? I know some people who've posted there in the past never come here. While we don't have a vacuum cleaner or juicer discussion yet, we DO have a vacation plans/travel advice one.
MODERATOR /ADMINISTRATOR Find me at kirstie_h@edmunds.com - or send a private message by clicking on my name. 2015 Kia Soul, 2021 Subaru Forester (kirstie_h), 2024 GMC Sierra 1500 (mr. kirstie_h) Review your vehicle
Some cruise lines offere two and three day cruises and that might be a good place to start.
They used to have these three night cruises from Seattle that went to Vancouver, Victoria and cruised around the San Juans. They have stopped these now but I hope the come back. I think we spent less than 400.00 for a three nighter!
After all we both had heard about how much we were missing about not taking a cruise; we both didn’t think we had missed much at all.
We took an RC cruise several years ago; our son had wanted to go on one so we said what the heck. We won't be going on another since -like you- they simply aren't for us.
Mine: 1995 318ti Club Sport-2020 C43-1996 Speed Triple Challenge Cup Replica
Wife's: 2021 Sahara 4xe
Son's: 2018 330i xDrive
Ha! I have rarely been referred to as "gentle," but I'll take that.
Here's my totally non-official perspective on this discussion - it's mostly frequented by long-term members who provide helpful information to members seeking advice. Some of you have experience (through age, mistakes, purchasing, or industry employment) that is hard to find, or at least hard to find from those willing to give it out freely. I find you all particularly helpful in assisting others with decisions related to how to spend their money. Sometimes, it is just comforting to get a variety of opinions, til you get one that agrees with the way you're already leaning.
If I ever had to defend the largely off-topic nature of this discussion (which I haven't, and such defense doesn't appear to be looming, so no panic attacks... I just like to be prepared), I would use that, and point the fact that when directed, you're all very willing to hop over to other relevant discussions here (which you all have been).
Oh hey, here's my opportunity to mention that if you haven't already, please add the whole of the Smart Shopper board to "my watched items." On a heavy week, we might get 10 posts in other discussions, but sometimes those questions are SOOOO easy for you guys, and at the same time, are very helpful to others.
Now, back to other non-vehicle related conversations. Sorry to interrupt with my promo.
MODERATOR /ADMINISTRATOR Find me at kirstie_h@edmunds.com - or send a private message by clicking on my name. 2015 Kia Soul, 2021 Subaru Forester (kirstie_h), 2024 GMC Sierra 1500 (mr. kirstie_h) Review your vehicle
My friend got an unsolicited phone call from a moving company.
Don't you have caller ID in Canada? If I don't recognize the number, I don't take the call. Instead, I let it go to the answering machine.
Sometimes I'll let the call go to the machine even when I do recognize the number. Many of my wife's friends are incapable of leaving brief messages. I'd rather let those people talk to the machine if my wife isn't at home.
Looking to take a cruise in May & was wondering the best cruise for newbies?
My comments are almost useless for you , since I have only been on 3 cruises and none were in the Caribean. But, just a few things to consider; *Since you have a cane, you might not want to take a trip that requires a lot of walking. * Go for the cruiselines that cater to more elderly groups as opposed to families and young party people. * Decide if you are going to relax or if you want to see things. Seeing things could be cities, buildings, archeological finds, scenery etc. If you like to see a beautiful place, cheap transportation, interesting sites, you might consider Bermuda. You can take the bus around the whole beautiful island, and you can get off at different stops, then get back on the next bus. *Check some cruise sites, such as Cruiscon and Cruise Critic. I highly recommend at least getting an outside room and a balcony is well worth the cost. Good luck!
Here's my totally non-official perspective on this discussion -
Personally, I agree with your assessment of the discussions that go on here. We quickly get on topic when there is a reason for it. The rest of the time we have to keep ourselves informed and entertained until a sales story comes up.
It was nice of you to give a few reasons for why we are knowledgeable, and not just our old age.
Comments
Of course I bought a watch on our next to last cruise but only because the Omega I was wearing decided to quit running.
It was a Tissot I bought for 130.00 in the gift shop. It's actually a pretty nice watch.
The "Rolex" that I bought in Mazatlan for 65.00 finally quit running!
I have another word....Haiti.
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
Oh, but you are used to being asked for extras like mop n glo and things like that.
I guess it is a technique that is used so much in business these days. I bought a pretty expensive watch for my wife for her birthday last month and while we are waiting to have the band sized the salesman offers to clean her diamond ring. Did a nice job, and then tells us we can buy the same cleaner for just $10. What can you say at that point.....no, I have spent over $1000 for the watch, I am a cheap ------d and don't want to spend an extra 10 bucks to keep my wife's wedding ring clean.
Just let me buy what I came in for.
On the ship, most things are optional, and you can't go without spending at least a few hundred dollars on things. But, you have to be on guard to know whether you are being conned all the time. For example they have an auditorium to tell you about sites to see at the next stop. About 10% is useful information. About 90% is where you can shop (so they get a commission) and what tours you can buy from the cruise ship.
In China we saw where they make jewellery, pearl necklesses, onyx stuff, and in Turkey weaving rugs....all of limited interest, but then fighting off the salespeople becomes really tiring. We had to carefully plan our escape from the rug guy, after they give you tea and a pastry (said it would be lunch).
Cruising is a great way to see a lot of stops in a very easy and cost efficient way, and overall it is very enjoyable. I just don't like the constant selling and having to be on guard about how they are trying to extract money from me.
By the way, the premium restaraunts are usually pretty good and make a nice change. But things like taking your picture every time you get on and off the ship and at every dinner so you can buy the pictures later gets ridiculous after awhile.
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
I think Ohio's tax rate hits maximum at $201,000.
This is after 5 years out of 5 of a set of tax reductions:
5-10...1.2%
10-15...2.4%
15-20...3.0%
20-40...3.7%
40-80...4.3%
80-100...4.9%
100-200...5.7%
And those adjusted figures from line 37 of IRS 1040 (isn't line already adjusted by some deductions on IRS 1040) minus $1600 per person. Then tax is computed and credits against tax taken of $20 per per. And then a marriage penalty is deducted against tax.
So person at $45,000 has a tax bill before credits of $374 and 3.7% of essentially nothing at the marginal rate of 3.7 over $40,000. From there to $85K they pay up to a max of $1121.
So I'm interested in what the steps and actual tax total rate looks like for the Illinois new forms.
2014 Malibu 2LT, 2015 Cruze 2LT,
It certainly is. My wife and I bought long-term care policies. The premiums aren't cheap, but at least our assets are protected for each other. I've seen too many people lose everything and the spouse end up on welfare. It's a sad state of affairs.
Richard
The sad part is that the average person can't afford either. Those persons who die suddenly are actually very fortunate. The remainder must face some pretty dismal prospects. Also, don't ever count on your children taking care of you. Theye are among the first to slap you in a nursing home. :sick:
Richard
Richard
That's the way it will be for me and my siblings. My parents just couldn't stay on their own any longer even with someone coming over during the day and us kids stopping by frequently.
First it was assisted living, but mom kept falling so they said it was too dangerous for her. We found a great adult family home that works quite well because of her other health issues.
My dad is pretty heavy and after a trip to the hospital to remove a tumor on his bladder, he can no longer stand or transfer himself. A nursing home was necessary after the surgery and while going through radiation. However, now he's stuck there because he needs a lift to get him from bed to wheel chair. There's more to it but who needs those details? :sick:
Now we have to pay for him out of pocket and the cost is 9-10k per month. Mom's is around 3-4k. They had a lot saved up but it will be gone at some point.
I just took my mom over to see him today. They miss each other so much. My sister, brother and I take turns each Sunday doing that.
Tough... very tough.
2011 Hyundai Sonata, 2014 BMW 428i convertible, 2015 Honda CTX700D
OTOH my FIL had Alzheimer's and ended up in a home on Medicaid. My MIL essentially got to pre-pay her own funeral and the feds got the rest. The feds really lost a lot of money on that deal so it's not like we can complain.
MIL is still around. Will be 90 in May. Lives with my wife's sister and her family. I guess if it got to where she couldn't stay there the feds would be there to pick up that but here's nothing left to tap.
You think the cost of tough - doesn't compare with the cost of dying! Unless you are one of those lucky ones that just drop. I'm planning on living forever - it's all I can afford.
Geez Tallman,
Gosh I feel for you. While my bros and I had to drag Dad out of the bush on a toboggan because of a fatal bush accident (which I witnessed
My bros and SIL and me, took shifts so that she did not have to be alone. Mom was such an incredible little woman. She literally reversed heart disease using the Dr Dean Ornish plan, just so that her poor little heart was stronger to make her suffer longer just to die of pancreatic cancer. Please pardon me if I feel like voicing my absolute damage of faith as certain religious followers would like us to believe through man's interpretation. (make that probable misinterpretation) I believe that a super power created us and am perfectly ok to call him God, and believe He likely did create us, but then set us on our own and whatever will be, will be....and has been.
My point, Tallman, is that I truly feel for you. Grasp inner strength and hang in there. You will live with no regrets and be able to say that you did the very best you could do. And you will tap inner strength beyond what you thought possible.
I do know about sore backs though. When he could still stand, I'd take him to all his medical appointments. He'd get from his electric wheelchair to the car and then I'd help him stand and climb in. There just isn't an easy angle to provide the right kind of support and completely protect your back. He was over 300 lbs then.
And finally... my dad misses his car the most. (Just to keep it close to the right topic.)
Now he rides the transit shuttle so he just stays in the chair and they use the lift. Waiting for those isn't fun but thank goodness our county has a fairly decent shuttle program for those who need it.
One thing of which I am very grateful is that I've got siblings to help out. Those who are an "only child" have it much worse.
I agree completely, there is a time to go into a home. My MIL is 96, lives in her own 2 story house, shovels snow, cuts grass, looks after the garden, goes to the gym twice a week, travels, can use the computer, etc.
That is a goal to aim for. No drain on 5 children at all. She is a positive nice person with lots of friends.
Much better than being in a home.
Sometimes, you could stay in your own home longer with someone coming in for a few hours a day or a week, at a much lower rate, just to help with groceries and meals. Of course, if things progress to a more serious state a home is going to be required.
I told my wife she can put me in a home if I know what is going on. If I am out of it then just pull the plug, I would rather she use whatever savings there are to live the rest of her life as comfortably as possible - she is just not allowed to remarry
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
If I go first, I want my wife to remarry. She will then realize that she had the best all of these years. :P :shades:
Richard
That is funny!
I just don't want some other guy driving around in my car!
Reminds me of the guy who asks his wife if he died would she marry again.
*She says, yes, I guess I would.
He says, but would you let him sleep in my bed?
*She says, ah, well, yes, I guess I would.
He says, but would you let him use my golf clubs?
*She says, "No, because he is left handed".
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
We went on one cruise (November 2001) and neither of us thought much of it but finally did one just to find out what we were missing. Don’t get me wrong it was nice but not nice enough to do it again anytime soon.
I just don't like the constant selling and having to be on guard about how they are trying to extract money from me.
I have a fix for that. We also got tired (very tired) of the picture taking at the dinner table. On about the 4th night I said, “I’d appreciate it if you don’t include me in this table photo. Touch it up somehow. I’m a drug dealer and I don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands. One of the reasons I’m on this cruise is because I think the FBI or some other agency is looking for me. I don’t want anyone waiting for me when I get off this boat at the next stop”. You should have seen the look on one of the couple’s faces when they heard that. One guy that had been on 20 something cruises (obviously he likes them) said, “I like that, I’m gonna start using something like that. This is one part of cruises that I really dislike”.
After he said that everyone started laughing and Mrs. jmonroe said, “I know what you’re like but I don’t think you should have said that but the look on John and Janes face was priceless. Just say something else the next time, OK. Better yet, just sit there and smile and don’t say anything.”
I asked the photographer if he got that couples reaction on film because I would have bought that pic, then. Two of them, glossy and all blown up too.
jmonroe
'15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl
Me too and so far the plan is working out pretty good.
I used to work in the nursing home industry so I know what you have been talking about is true.
My folks went to buy LTC insurance and they turned dad down because of a heart condition. Dumb on their part because he dies from a stroke brought on by that condition. They wouldn't have had to pay a cent.
Mom was accepted and paid a couple of grand a year for about 15 years for the insurance. We even had her place all her assets into a trust so the government couldn't get at it. Towards the end we tried to get her to think about a nursing home but she was stubborn and refused. She died at home on her own terms which was what she wanted.
So in the end there was no need for any insurance or trusts or anything else. Was still good to have the protection, kind of like an extended warranty on a car.
2019 Kia Soul+, 2015 Mustang GT, 2013 Ford F-150, 2000 Chrysler Sebring convertible
After seeing what funerals/burials cost (with shameless upselling) I told my wife she is to put me in a large cardboard box and place it on the curb for the trash pickup. :sick:
2019 Kia Soul+, 2015 Mustang GT, 2013 Ford F-150, 2000 Chrysler Sebring convertible
I know what you mean. Somebody was telling a really interesting story at the dinner table and the young lady came around to the table for the 4th day in a row and asked us to all stand together so she could take our picture. I told her we've had enough pictures, now let us enjoy our dinner.
She looked stunned that we were turning down this incredible opportunity. I was being as pleasant as I could be under the circumstances, but enough is enough! :sick:
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
She who must be obeyed and I have preplanned and prepaid our funerals. Now when we pass away all that needs to be done is call the funeral palor.
Personally I like your ideal as I have always said "just stuff me in a hefty bag and put me out on trash day". However there are laws about such things.
2011 Hyundai Sonata, 2014 BMW 428i convertible, 2015 Honda CTX700D
2011 Hyundai Sonata, 2014 BMW 428i convertible, 2015 Honda CTX700D
tallman, I feel for you, I really do.
As an only child, I know I'm lucky my parents didn't linger. My mother woke up one morning at age 83, had a heart attack and was gone. My stepdad wasn't as lucky and spent the last two months of his life walking around like a zombie and died at age 90. 6500.00 per month to keep him there.
Our son is also an only child so I guess I better be nice to him.
The Rolling Stones were right...
" what a drag it is getting old"
I am in total agreement with your last two paragraphs.
That's what is hard about where my dad is living. There are residents who are way out of it. My dad is still all there mentally so it is hard when he has to live in a place like that.
There are others who have just physical issues so he's not alone. He's also developed some great relationships with the staff... and they have been wonderful to him. I think we've all read horror stories about care in nursing homes.
On the cruises we've taken (probably 8), the photographer has showed up at our dinner table once or maybe twice. If we let him know we weren't interested, they would thank us and leave.
Of course, they were always present when we arrived at a destination and when we got back on board.
I suppose as with the car business, what really bothers some people is of little matter to others.
I didn’t say it was bad, it just wasn’t for us.
I’ve said this before (when we were also off topic about this subject), since we had never been on a cruise (this was in 2001), ‘you know who’ thought we were missing something. So, to give it the best chance, I got a balcony room. It was very nice and if we ever go again I’ll do that again too.
Neither one of us said anything negative about the cruise while we were on it but as I was driving home from the airport, I remember this conversation:
Mrs. J: Would you go on another one?
Me: Do you want an honest answer?
Her: Of course. When did you ever hold back?
Me: It was Ok but I’m in no hurry to do it again.
Her: Me too.
After all we both had heard about how much we were missing about not taking a cruise; we both didn’t think we had missed much at all. Maybe it was the cruise line (Carnival) or where we had gone (Caribbean) but I’m not convinced of that. I’m not knocking it. It just wasn’t what we preferred.
jmonroe
'15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl
I think that is the thing isell, you were exposed to selling all day long so it comes naturally to you. Most people just want to get away from all of that when they go away on a vacation. It is like getting unsolicited telephone people selling you stuff. I suppose you can just say "No thank you", but I think it is an invasion of my privacy. Basically, if I want a picture taken I would be glad to ask for it....I don't appreciate people coming over and asking me to pose.
My friend got an unsolicited phone call from a moving company. He isn't moving, has no plans to move, and hasn't requested information about moving. When he said they were crazy for making unsolicited calls on behalf of a moving company and if he was moving he wouldn't use this company the woman told him he was very rude for not just answering in a polite manner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
Cruising definitely is not for everyone. And, 10 years ago you were probably too young. It helps to be older.
Some people just like all the food and not having to think about anything for a few days. Some like the party atmosphere. Some like all the activities or just being in the sun.
We are not crazy about cruising at all, but to see a lot of different places it really makes sense. One room, no having to travel and coordinate hotels, no getting visas, no having to plan your own tour, safety traveling with experts, etc.........so it does have it's place.
We would not normally cruise either, but it would be difficult to see Turkey, Greece and Egypt doing it on your own, and it is difficult getting into Russia unless you are on a cruise ship. It depends on what you really want from a trip and on what kind of vacation you are looking for.
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
Cruising certainly isn't for everyone.
I do know a couple who took a Carnival cruise and swore it would be their last until they wre talked into taking a Holland American cruise severl years later. Totally different experience. They loved it.
If you want to party, you can party. If you want to sit out on the deck and read a book you can do that. You can run laps on the upper deck, work out in the gym. You can smoke a cigar in the cigar lounge (not me!) you can gamble in the casino or sit in your room and enjoy the view.
If you don't feel like seeing the nightly show or dressing up for dinner, you don't have to etc.
Still not for everyone.
I’ll take that as a compliment.
It helps to be older.
C’mon now. I’ve never found that to be a plus. :sick:
jmonroe
'15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl
The oldsters can sit in a rocking chair and people like us can hit the bars and the dance floor.
As I said, there is something for everyone!
I have a retired brother who lives in Del Ray Beach FL and he also tried Carnival first but likes Princess better and he likes Bermuda where he has to depart from New York which costs a lot more than driving a little bit south to Miami and taking a cruise to the Caribbean. Mrs. j is considering a cruise with them but they haven’t homed in on a date yet.
Cruising is probably the type of vacation that everyone should try once just for the experience. I will say this, I couldn’t get over the people that had to get to the Mid-Night Buffet or they felt like they were being cheated. I went just to observe, the first night we were on the cruise. That, in itself, was a sight to be seen. I always thought I could pack away food but I’m a mere greenpea compared to most of the ones I saw at that buffet table that night. :confuse:
jmonroe
'15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl
I think we've been to one midnight buffet and that was enough.
It's easy to pig out when you can have unlimited amounts of some pretty great food.
" Those Eggs Benedict were great!..can you bring me some more with extra sauce?"
If one lobster tail is good, three out to be three times as good!
Bottom line, unless there's a total disaster (as there was recently with a cruise ship that had a fire and lost all power), you'd be pretty hard pressed not to have a good time on any of the big cruise lines.
Just took one with family, I'm actually looking to do another around March/April with just the girlfriend and me.
I've done Carnival, Holland America, Royal Caribbean. All were wonderful. Maybe change it up a bit and try Norwegian on their new "Epic".
The Sandman :sick: :shades:
2023 Hyundai Kona Limited AWD (wife) / 2025 VW GTI (me) / 2019 Chevrolet Cruze Premier RS (daughter #1) / 2020 Hyundai Accent SE (daughter #2) / 2023 Subaru Impreza Base (son)
The Sandman :sick: :shades:
2023 Hyundai Kona Limited AWD (wife) / 2025 VW GTI (me) / 2019 Chevrolet Cruze Premier RS (daughter #1) / 2020 Hyundai Accent SE (daughter #2) / 2023 Subaru Impreza Base (son)
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2015 Kia Soul, 2021 Subaru Forester (kirstie_h), 2024 GMC Sierra 1500 (mr. kirstie_h)
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They used to have these three night cruises from Seattle that went to Vancouver, Victoria and cruised around the San Juans. They have stopped these now but I hope the come back. I think we spent less than 400.00 for a three nighter!
We took an RC cruise several years ago; our son had wanted to go on one so we said what the heck. We won't be going on another since -like you- they simply aren't for us.
Mine: 1995 318ti Club Sport-2020 C43-1996 Speed Triple Challenge Cup Replica
Wife's: 2021 Sahara 4xe
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Here's my totally non-official perspective on this discussion - it's mostly frequented by long-term members who provide helpful information to members seeking advice. Some of you have experience (through age, mistakes, purchasing, or industry employment) that is hard to find, or at least hard to find from those willing to give it out freely. I find you all particularly helpful in assisting others with decisions related to how to spend their money.
If I ever had to defend the largely off-topic nature of this discussion (which I haven't, and such defense doesn't appear to be looming, so no panic attacks... I just like to be prepared), I would use that, and point the fact that when directed, you're all very willing to hop over to other relevant discussions here (which you all have been).
Oh hey, here's my opportunity to mention that if you haven't already, please add the whole of the Smart Shopper board to "my watched items." On a heavy week, we might get 10 posts in other discussions, but sometimes those questions are SOOOO easy for you guys, and at the same time, are very helpful to others.
Now, back to other non-vehicle related conversations. Sorry to interrupt with my promo.
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2015 Kia Soul, 2021 Subaru Forester (kirstie_h), 2024 GMC Sierra 1500 (mr. kirstie_h)
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Don't you have caller ID in Canada? If I don't recognize the number, I don't take the call. Instead, I let it go to the answering machine.
Sometimes I'll let the call go to the machine even when I do recognize the number. Many of my wife's friends are incapable of leaving brief messages. I'd rather let those people talk to the machine if my wife isn't at home.
My comments are almost useless for you , since I have only been on 3 cruises and none were in the Caribean. But, just a few things to consider;
*Since you have a cane, you might not want to take a trip that requires a lot of walking.
* Go for the cruiselines that cater to more elderly groups as opposed to families and young party people.
* Decide if you are going to relax or if you want to see things. Seeing things could be cities, buildings, archeological finds, scenery etc. If you like to see a beautiful place, cheap transportation, interesting sites, you might consider Bermuda. You can take the bus around the whole beautiful island, and you can get off at different stops, then get back on the next bus.
*Check some cruise sites, such as Cruiscon and Cruise Critic. I highly recommend at least getting an outside room and a balcony is well worth the cost.
Good luck!
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
In this case, he has caller ID but he also has a home based business dealing with businesses. He thought it was a business enquiry.
But, I agree, it is best to not pick up the phone if it sounds like a phone solicitation.
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
Personally, I agree with your assessment of the discussions that go on here.
We quickly get on topic when there is a reason for it. The rest of the time we have to keep ourselves informed and entertained until a sales story comes up.
It was nice of you to give a few reasons for why we are knowledgeable, and not just our old age.
2017 MB E400 , 2015 MB GLK350, 2014 MB C250
If I see (412) 268-...., I don't pick up. I know it's my alma mater asking for money.
So, jmonroe, don't call me from the CMU campus if you expect me to answer :P