Stories from the Sales Frontlines

mackabee

Suzuki! Welcome back! How about telling us some stories from your side of the street? I hope I didn't run you off. Sometimes I can be a bit, how should I say; "abrasive"? But just getting you into the mold. Like I said before, there's a bunch of great people in these forums and we have lots of fun. We agree to disagree but in the end we all end up at the Overnight Cafe drinking a cup of Java.

Mackabee

sterlingdog

You left out one feature of the machine. When jmonroe sits down at the terminal, a door on the side opens and out comes a tray with a complimentary cup of coffee spiked with rum. When jmonroe keys in $21,000 as an offer, the computer responds that the lowest possible OTD is $29,000. Since the quantity of rum was not enough to seduce jmonroe, he begins to key in curse words to the computer. As the computer does not digest curse words, it thanks jmonroe for agreeing to the dealer's price and instructs him to click the "ok" button and sign his name. Unfortunately, jmonroe goes insane and rams his fist and foot through the terminal. Joel rushes out, calls the rescue squad, and they take jmonroe away with a broken hand and foot. This is followed by police charges of destroying private property, endangering the lives of the personnel on the premises, and being a public nuisance. When Mrs. jmonroe receives the call from the police, she requests that jmonroe be transported from the hospital straight to the jail. She then calls the dealership, offers to pay the $29,000 requested by the computer and takes immediate delivery of the car. She will be paying cash for the car from the proceeds of her divorce settlement from jmonroe. A year later we spot jmonroe riding a bicycle on the side of the road with a pup tent strapped to his back. Moral of this story: The machine is not for SOME people.

sterlingdog

You know, some days I am really proud of you.

jmonroe

Will the machine tell you "I have a Mother Board to feed"?

How should I know. I didn't design that beast. After hearing what 'richard' said, I ain't goin near that thing.

jmonroe

verdugo

BR posted about MIT's LR3 self driving car recently. Well, sorry to say, but they didn't win. Carnegie Mellon University and their Tahoe won.

british_rover

Yeah I saw that. My alma mater got third place so good job for them. I probably know people on the VA Tech DARPA Team.

mackabee

Thank you!
Mackabee

jmonroe

My alma mater got third place so good job for them.

Congratulations but according to 'verdugo' mine got first place.

jmonroe

sterlingdog

Mackabee,
Where do I go to learn how to do those little cars---emotorcons? Thanks.

verdugo

You went to CMU too? So we beat BR's alma mater, any Stanford alumni here?

jmonroe

Mackabee,
Where do I go to learn how to do those little cars---emotorcons? Thanks.

Mack is still asleep so I'm pinch hitting for him.

Are you serious but just in case you ain't, do this.

Write below the "Message" box where you right your post there are a bunch of these guys down there. Place the cursor where you want to insert one, left click on the won you want and waaa laaa, it's their.

Try it you'll love it. :surprise:

Hope you didn't mind my butting in but if you ever call me Mack, we're finished. :mad:

jmonroe

jmonroe

You went to CMU too?

Yeah, but I started when it was Carnegie Tech. If I had minded my P’s and Q’s I would have been outta there before the name change in 1967 (Got out in 1968. That almost makes it sound like it was prison). That’s what happens when you join the Navy and then go to night school, but the GI Bill paid for it so I’m not really complaining. Especially not since that was the plan all along, but I didn’t know they were going to sneak in a name change on me. :surprise:

With the bucks they won in that race ($2M), maybe they’ll let the alumni alone for a while. Who am I kidding, that wouldn’t even buy enough lab equipment for one lab.

So we beat BR's alma mater,

That ain’t hard to do. :shades:

any Stanford alumni here?

Who cares?

jmonroe

kiawah

Write below the "Message" box where you right your post there are a bunch of these guys down there. Place the cursor where you want to insert one, left click on the won you want and waaa laaa, it's their.

Oh my goodness, anything 2 kinda stur the pot w/richard

greanpea68

Richard:

Jmonroe:

Joel:

Moooo: :shades:

Br and LR:

I would continue with the feelings but Microsoft is telling me to ease up on the emotorcon's... Go figure...

sterlingdog

Good grief. I've spent so much time watching everyone's gra---that I didn't even notice those cute critters down there! :surprise: You love driving me crazy with those homonyms, don't you? :confuse: I'll have to grin and "bear" it until I can "learn" you to "right" better. Thanks so much Ma---, err I mean jmonroe.

jmonroe

Oh my goodness, anything 2 kinda stur the pot w/richard

Huh?

jmonroe

sterlingdog

I did it! :surprise: Isn't this fun?

sterlingdog

What state are you in---and I don't mean mental. We all "no" that "won"?

jmonroe

Good grief. I've spent so much time watching everyone's gra---that I didn't even notice those cute critters down there!

That’s what we’ve been tryin to tell ya. Gramer and spelin ain’t important hear. It’s thos little ‘critters down there’. Now don’t get carried away with them like ‘greenpea’ or you’ll get a pop up box that says something like “knock it off with the emotorcons already, OK...YOU IDIOT !!!” :P

jmonroe

mrsuzuki

I would guess that their insurance might require them to lock them up, or they are worried about damage. I know GM always provides the cars for the shows, and then lets dealers buy them at a discount or gives extra incentives to sell them afterwords.

:shades:

phinneas519

Now why do you folks have to interpret this machine as so hostile? Everyone knows that buying a car should be a friendly, pleasant situation! :shades:

That said, here's my proposal for how to "tweak" the Salestron 2000.

Everything is fine for this customer-use terminal, but what is necessary is a person who is in charge of programming a script that allows the computer to negotiate on its own with a set parameter of limits. For example, Sludgemobile in the EX trim has an MSRP of $25,000 and the customer keys in an offer for $22,500. If the invoice is, say, $23,500 (very rough numbers - I don't make any claims for realism here!), then the computer will have a set paramter of negotiation. If the customer likes where the negotiation is going but is still low, plus or minus a certain number of dollars, then the SM will come to the console to assist the customer in closing the deal or a live technician (the same guy who programmed the paramters, maybe) will man the other end of the console in a hidden room and complete the deal with the approval or help fo the SM.

I know, I know. It sounds messy, but who said it was a clean busines...oh wait, I went too far. :surprise: Now that's a very rough interpretation, but if you think about it and take the time to set something like this up, it is quite possible, though unlikely in our fantasy-world. Of course, there's no replacement for folks like Joel, so if the customer gets the greenlight, he/she can be sent to the F&I guy to dry some ink.

Whatcha think?

P.S. Richard, please forgive my conversational English and grammar.

kyfdx

Whatcha think?

bobst is never going for that..

dino001

We can have an F&I machine, too. Selling that Nitrogen for $150 and nice pinstripe/paint sealant package. If you decline, it just takes you to another submenu with recycled offer until you crack. (A "Buy All" button takes you directly to paperwork, "Decline All" button takes you to another 10-minute presentation showing all horrible things that can and will happen if you don't buy extended warranty.

It's perfect - the customer is already committed, they think they're almost there. They can see the car being washed and prepped. Yet - the F&I sales machine is relentless and loops every time you hit "Decline".

qbrozen

or a live technician (the same guy who programmed the paramters, maybe) will man the other end of the console in a hidden room and complete the deal with the approval or help fo the SM

hahaha. So... nothing has changed except you don't meet the person face-to-face. Fabulous.

phinneas519

Absolutely. However, it beats getting a hammer on the toes.

I think the idea is reducing the overhead by having, say 5 consoles handling the customers and avoiding paying out 5 different commissions. Plus, the scenario you described would only take place if the machine and the customer couldn't come to an agreement.

Although for folks like Bobst, you could just have an "emergency protocol" programmed into the console to save a sale when the customer is about to walk. I'm not sure how that'd work, though...

sterlingdog

Not to worry. I can understand your literary style ten times better than jmonroe's. I thought of another addition. With the Salestron 2000 and the F&I machine suggested by Dino, we could also have stand-by robots: one named Macabee SM and one named Joel F&I. Another one for mediation (for people like jmonroe) named British-Rover and one for technical questions named Snakeweasel. Also, jipster and Inguy could be on stnad-by in a foreign country in case the customer wanted to talk with a real person who didn't have an accent---other than Southern that is. :lemon: The lemon means nothing. I just wanted to use it because yellow is my favorite color.

jmonroe

What state are you in---and I don't mean mental.

Well, if you must no, PA. I was born and raised in the Pittsburgh area. With the exception of living in South Carolina for five years, 92’ thru 97’, I’ve been here all my life.

Now, I think that period in SC is what messed me up. Even Mrs. jmonroe said she could see a change in me after we moved back to the Burg and it weren’t necessarily for the gooder, either. :confuse:

We all "no" that "won"?

Now your gettin it.

jmonroe

jmonroe

However, it beats getting a hammer on the toes.

Way ta go, all right. If you can ensure you can get rid of the physical stuff, I'm in.

jmonroe

jmonroe

...and one for technical questions named Snakeweasel.

HUH ? A bean counter handling technical questions? :confuse:

Now we're back to square one. Forget what I said in my previous post; I'm out :mad:

jmonroe

kiawah

yaa...but I'm the only one on the board here now that can talk with you about gum bands and pop.

and even the bridge to nowhere.....

I 'rode' the streetcars when I was a kid, and worked at Forbes Field.

sterlingdog

I had a reason for asking. I've put this off long enough. Sit down, bend over, and hold on to your socks. I have the same last name as YOU. To think that we were kin was a frightful expectation, but our clan never went north of Virginia, especially after THE WAR. I can understand them running you out of South Carolina---a Yankee in South Carolina and a smart a-- at that. What a disaster!

kiawah

Ohhhhh..... so now the real MrsMonroe is becoming clearer

jmonroe

I 'rode' the streetcars when I was a kid, and worked at Forbes Field.

Gee, you’re going waaay back but I like it.

I couldn’t count how many Steeler and Pirate games I went to at that park. I never worked there but I can remember my Father talking about when he worked there as a kid.

PNC Park is a great baseball park. It’s a shame they have a AA club playing there.

Don’t worry about the gum bands, pop and bridge, we know what’s happenin there.

jmonroe

jipster

Also, jipster and Inguy could be on stnad-by in a foreign country in case the customer wanted to talk with a real person who didn't have an accent---other than Southern that is.

Thanks. I can't speak for inguy... but that's the nicest thing anybody said to me on these boards. That means you can't be related to jmonroe (i.e same last name)

My wife would love a break and have me sent off to some foreign country for awhile. As long as it isn't Iraq or Afghanistan I'm all for it. :P

jmonroe

I had to delete post 20741. It seems I was talking to 'kiawah' when I meant to be talking to 'richard'. :confuse:

I have the same last name as YOU.

Relax, that’s just my Edmunds handle. Kinda like ‘snakeweasel’ or ‘jipster’ but with more class.

I can understand them running you out of South Carolina---a Yankee in South Carolina and a smart a-- at that.

You talkin to me?

It sure is quiet in here. The sales guys must be off forming a union. I think the talk about that Salestron 2000 scared the you know what out of em.

jmonroe

mackabee

It's been quite quiet around here lately. I've been working with a young lady whose car is in our repair shop and she's looking at putting a new engine in it. Looks like a blown piston. I showed her a Mercury Sable LS, she didn't like it. Too much of an old geezer's car. Then I showed her a Focus, not sporty enough. Has to have an import and it must be under 10k. We are giving her 2k for her trade and it's paid for, it's just a matter of finding the right car. Today I thought it would happen but NO! After she realized there are not many Hondas or 'Yotas out there for under 10k and low miles she went up in price to $12,990.00 or less. I found an 2003 Corolla LE with 60k plus miles for $11,490.00 according to my used car list. Well lo and behold they're wholesaleing the car due to an airbag light on that they can't fix. :confuse: So the search continues.
:sick:
Mackabee
v

jmonroe

Well lo and behold they're wholesaleing the car due to an airbag light on that they can't fix.

I'm a high tech guy. That's an easy fix. TAKE OUT THE LIGHT BULB. :surprise:

jmonroe

british_rover

You are over thinking it just use black electrical tape or a sharpie.

jescue

Very quiet here too. had a customer in with a water pump leak on a 98 Jag he bought last week. I have your import Mack. A 2003 Saab 9-3 for $11,900. Send her down and we can split the deal.

mako1a

Love that FIX.

I have a Z28 with a Pro Street engine which has no EGR. When the light couldn't find the EGR it used to say "service engine soon". It now says "Go Baby Go"

mrsuzuki

They can fix airbag lights, if they left an extra $1000 cost for the new airbag and labor. That crap is expensive. My girlfriend's car has that light on, and even the beer and a buddy discount is $800.00

jmonroe

You are over thinking it just use black electrical tape or a sharpie.

You’re probably right. Sometimes I get carried away like that.

Now for a more interesting question:

How many of you guys even bother to look at the lights that come on when you turn the ignition switch to the on/crank position. With all of the lights who can watch to make sure all of them are working. I can’t. :confuse:

I remember when all you had to watch for was the ALT, OIL, TEMP and BRAKE lights. That was easy, even I could do that.

jmonroe

isellhondas

Paragraphs...you really should try them some time.

If people did take the time to read your hard to read blur of words, they should take note because you speak the truth.

We are a nation in trouble. We have brought much of this on ourselves in our frantic zeal to spend the LEAST possible dollar for the goods we buy.

It's already happened and few people care.

jescue

i thought the light back then said GEN instead of ALT. :P

british_rover

Yeah I think it was 6 volt electrics too. :surprise:

chikoo

TAKE OUT THE LIGHT BULB.

That is too much work.

put black electrical tape on the light. You will not see it for its lifetime again

chikoo

she's looking at putting a new engine in it. Looks like a blown piston.

Which make/model is it?

cdnpinhead

Back in the days of generators, there was this thing called an ammeter on the dashboard. All the electricity in the car went through it, except the starter current. Very useful gauge. . .long gone.

jmonroe

i thought the light back then said GEN instead of ALT.

Not when you had a car that knew what was going on.

jmonroe

jmonroe

put black electrical tape on the light. You will not see it for its lifetime again

You guys that insist on doing this must not live in states that have state inspection like PA. You'd never get away with that here. I've seen them run their hand over the gage panel and when I asked what he was doing, he said, "feeling for tape".

So, I was right the first time when I said take out the bulb but I was accused of thinking too much. I had the same mechanic tell me what he can't see or feel he can't fail. Although they are supposed to know what cars have what lights. Yeah...right.

jmonroe