Edmunds Members - Cars and Conversations (Archived)

abacomike

stickguy said:

I'm right around the corner from MB HQ right now in Montcalm.b want me to stop n and say hi for you?

Be my guest.  Tell them to monitor this forum if they want to know how I really feel about their corporate headquarters - which they are moving to Georgia, I believe.  I feel sorry for Georgia or wherever that are moving to.

graphicguy

driver100 said:

graphicguy said:

stever said:

bwia said:

Perhaps the dealership views GG as a lost cause and as a result are willing to accept the reputational risk.

You may be on to something. Businesses occasionally fire customers. For example:

Denied service because of a survey!

They can fire me. I'm OK with that. I guess the question would be the age old one.....did I quite them first,or did they fire me first.

About warranty. Don't forget, I gave Cadillac 3 attempts over two dealers to fix the problem. Once they put in a new power steering unit which took them 8a days to installn(because the first time, it threw a code and told them to replace the power steering unit), That did not fix the problem. The other two times, they said no code was given so the ycouldn't fix it. That's the same thing they said about the car stalling out.

So, it's not like I gave them one shot to fix it, and then demanded a loaner car for as long as I wanted.

By the way, it's comfortably cool and nice in Chicago right now. WE're going for drinks and then to kyfdx's recommendation, Rosebuds, to eat authentic Italian.

I'll check in to see what you guys are doing over the weekend.

GG, Be sure to read the post sent by GM Customer Service...they are contacting you.

Let us know what they have to say....we're all waiting.

Enjoy Chicago, sounds like a great getaway.

Just responded to them. I see it as another Cadillac (alleged) Customer Service rep contacting me.

Chicago is one of my favorite cities. Lots of stuff going on this weekend here. Great dinner last night. Museums all day today. Parking is $50/night...yikes! On the other hand, the Altima was a surprisingly pleasant travel companion.

abacomike

ab348

ab348 said:

andres3 said:

What was the problem with the first CTS that caused a second to be required? Which party was at-fault for that? How long if any time or mileage, did he drive the first?

Probably best for GG to respond. It had front end suspension/steering issues, after I believe he had the car for about 6 weeks. Cause IIRC was undetermined but Cadillac took responsibility and offered a swap for a new, identically-equipped car.

A company can't rest on "we did our part already for this guy" mentality. That's the mentality Circuit City used and that landed them into extinction. Just because you bend over backwards a time or two doesn't excuse abandoning your work or product later on. If you don't want to deal with a "difficult" customer (and that's arguable) your best course of action as a company isn't firing the customer, but simply stop making them be a customer by issuing a full refund and buyback.

The "We've done enough" attitude was not what I was suggesting. There has been a lot of slagging of Cadillac and GM on here the last few days that seemed a bit one-sided. I was simply reminding some of the history here. I am trying to put myself in GG's shoes and have considerable empathy for his situation, as I have been there myself. It seems to be a very complicated situation that none of us other than GG can probably fully appreciate.


"Slagging" Cadillac and/or GM is merely a response to what our dear friend graphicguy is going through at this point in time. I remember back when you guys all bought your CTS/ATS vehicles and all we read were accolades of GM and Cadillac - not necessarily inappropriate because you guys were all thrilled with your new Cadillacs. I was even thinking of buying one in the very near future, if you remember correctly.

Then, GG had to return his car because of problems with his front end, if you remember correctly. But once again, accolades for Cadillac and the dealership for stepping up to get GG his replacement car. Now, he has front end problems again (steering this time) and stalling as well as Voice Recognition. Two cars - all with problems.

So, no more accolades and it's back to "slagging" Cadillac for the lack of support and courtesy afforded GG. It's cyclical, in my opinion, but from what my friend told me at the local Cadillac dealership, there have been some issues with their cars, but not necessarily consistent nor spread throughout the brand.

Perhaps you are right - one or two cars with issues does not mean the entire line is bad. Just at this juncture, we are all empathizing with GG and what seems to be inappropriate consumer relations re: Cadillac and his dealership. This, too shall pass, and we'll be back to providing accolades to Cadillac once this gets settled. Like I said, it's just cyclical.

driver100

graphicguy said:

driver100 said:

graphicguy said:

stever said:

bwia said:

Perhaps the dealership views GG as a lost cause and as a result are willing to accept the reputational risk.

You may be on to something. Businesses occasionally fire customers. For example:

Denied service because of a survey!

They can fire me. I'm OK with that. I guess the question would be the age old one.....did I quite them first,or did they fire me first.

About warranty. Don't forget, I gave Cadillac 3 attempts over two dealers to fix the problem. Once they put in a new power steering unit which took them 8a days to installn(because the first time, it threw a code and told them to replace the power steering unit), That did not fix the problem. The other two times, they said no code was given so the ycouldn't fix it. That's the same thing they said about the car stalling out.

So, it's not like I gave them one shot to fix it, and then demanded a loaner car for as long as I wanted.

By the way, it's comfortably cool and nice in Chicago right now. WE're going for drinks and then to kyfdx's recommendation, Rosebuds, to eat authentic Italian.

I'll check in to see what you guys are doing over the weekend.

GG, Be sure to read the post sent by GM Customer Service...they are contacting you.

Let us know what they have to say....we're all waiting.

Enjoy Chicago, sounds like a great getaway.

Just responded to them. I see it as another Cadillac (alleged) Customer Service rep contacting me.

Chicago is one of my favorite cities. Lots of stuff going on this weekend here. Great dinner last night. Museums all day today. Parking is $50/night...yikes! On the other hand, the Altima was a surprisingly pleasant travel companion.

How did they track you down to Edmunds though?

Have fun....Chicago is a great city.

We stayed at the Acme Hotel downtown. Small rooms but ultra modern and clean. If you look out your windows at the side of the building you will see some acrobats.

stever

driver100 said:

How did they track you down to Edmunds though?

GM has monitored the forums for years. They signed up with the @gmcustsvc account in 2010 and several different reps have used that account to respond to people on the forums and via private message (some 4,200 posts just for that account).

GM also monitors oddball Twitter posts and the other social media outlets. Pretty impressive outreach in fact.

driver100

stever said:

driver100 said:

How did they track you down to Edmunds though?

GM has monitored the forums for years. They signed up with the @gmcustsvc account in 2010 and several different reps have used that account to respond to people on the forums and via private message (some 4,200 posts just for that account).

GM also monitors oddball Twitter posts and the other social media outlets. Pretty impressive outreach in fact.

stever, very impressive outreach! I for one am impressed they would actually follow the forums on Edmunds, I think that is a smart move.

I would have been really impressed if they were on top of the GG situation, it really seems he has been left high and dry. HIs experience has really put me off. I saw an ATS the other day and it looked really nice, inside and out. The GG experience would scare me though. I know most people love their Cadillacs, and the reviews are very positive, but, the prospect of having the problems GG has had make it too risky for me to consider one.

I am running out of cars I can buy though, major problems with a Volvo, can't buy an Audi or VW product, I really don't want run flat tires so there goes BMW, the list is narrowing.

abacomike

Maybe, rather than buying a new or used car, I should invest in a classic that has been restored - like a 1949 Chevy 2-door with the starter on the hump and manual throttle and choke access.  Maybe a '55 Chevy Bel-Air with a 3-speed manual transmission on the steering column.  That way, you don't have to deal with dealerships and warrantees.  

Maybe be I should just keep my current car and extend the warranty - how much longer am I going to be able to drive?  5 years? 8 years? 10 years?  I'll just keep what I've got and save the money to give to my kids.  Why didn't I think of this years ago?

Then it's decided - this car is a keeper - PERIOD!!!  

abacomike

Speaking of iPhones and the need for Apple to replace the iPhone 6 I bought in November with a new one this past Monday, an unforeseen issue cropped up today.  I set up the new phone from a backup I did that morning.  But the iPhone 6 that was replaced was "corrupted" which means the backup was also corrupted which means the new phone inherited a corrupted backup. 

I was on the phone with a senior technician from Apple Care for 5 hours this afternoon.  By the time they diagnosed the problem, the phone has to be "restored" to its default state when it was new.  Instead of restoring from backup, it was set up from scratch as a new phone.  At least it gave me something to do today.

stickguy

Mike, not sure if you have a PC, but best idea is to back it up onto that. Runs through iTunes I believe. Cleaner than worrying about cloud backups.

abacomike

I took Dad to the Dermatologist yesterday. He did 3 biopsies, two of which he is sure are cancers.  I have to clean the sites and apply Vaseline twice a day.  One of them - on his right hip, will need surgery and stitches.  It seems this never ends - it will take an entire day for that surgical procedure.  In the last two weeks, I took him to the dentist, the urologist, an ENT physician to pull out enough earwax to manufacture 2 candles, his primary care physician for his physical and on Tuesday, I need to get him to the Podiatrist for problems with his feet.  

This is is a full time job - I'd rather be back selling cars or running a school.  I am going to need to get some assistance in caring for him pretty soon - I have no life and can't take a few weeks just to get away.  But he goes into tantrums when I mention I have to get someone to come in and help me.  He starts yelling and becomes unmanageable.

What to do?  What to do? 

abacomike

stickguy said:

Mike, not sure if you have a PC, but best idea is to back it up onto that. Runs through iTunes I believe. Cleaner than worrying about cloud backups.

I do use my computer for backup with iTunes.  But a corrupted backup is a corrupted backup, no matter if it's in the iCloud or on the computer.  The guy from AppleCare was great - walking me through the diagnosis and the reset.

stickguy

Mike, I feel for you. Being a caretaker is tough. Sadly, unless nature resolves the situation, people in your place reach a point of having to seriously consider a facility. And often it is as much about your health as his. If it becomes too much for you to handle, does neither of you any good.

Terrible situation though. You have certainly gone way above the call of duty it seems.

abacomike

stickguy said:

Mike, I feel for you. Being a caretaker is tough. Sadly, unless nature resolves the situation, people in your place reach a point of having to seriously consider a facility. And often it is as much about your health as his. If it becomes too much for you to handle, does neither of you any good. Terrible situation though. You have certainly gone way above the call of duty it seems.

There isn't anything more I can do.  As it is, my entire life is devoted to someone who can't remember what he had for dinner last night or where I took him.  Truly a shame.

nyccarguy

Sales Story -

My sister bought a 2015 Subaru Forester XT Touring today. Her friend works in corporate & set her up with some sort of friends & family deal. I don't know th exact numbers, but the car has a sticker price of $34K & change. She got it for $31K & change. Nice car. White/Black Leather, big sunroof, heated leather seats, turbo motor.

She traded in her 2007 Honda Accord EX-L V6. Black with Tan guts. 94K miles. She got $8K for it.

That's 2 Subarus in the family now. Hers has a lot more stuff than mine. It should, it stickered for $9K more.

stever

What can I tell you? When my MIL was ill, we got home health care workers in for her SO who was unstable because of his Parkinson's. He's an ornery old cuss and didn't much like anyone coming over to visit, much less "strangers". After a couple of weeks of their care, he started looking forward to their visits and was wishing they came more frequently than twice a week. He especially liked the showers I think.

Did I mention that all the caregivers happened to be women?

andres3

nyccarguy said:

Sales Story -

My sister bought a 2015 Subaru Forester XT Touring today. Her friend works in corporate & set her up with some sort of friends & family deal. I don't know th exact numbers, but the car has a sticker price of $34K & change. She got it for $31K & change. Nice car. White/Black Leather, big sunroof, heated leather seats, turbo motor.

She traded in her 2007 Honda Accord EX-L V6. Black with Tan guts. 94K miles. She got $8K for it.

That's 2 Subarus in the family now. Hers has a lot more stuff than mine. It should, it stickered for $9K more.

NICE! I think I might have my wife upgrade her '07 Civic EX Sedan soon so I can use it as my very long commute beater. After all, it just had to have its 2nd car battery changed out; which solved the KEY FOB sensing issue; how unreliable of Honda. LOL. We paid Honda for their high priced battery and installation because it comes with an 8 year warranty. When I got the S4 as a daily driver I had a relatively short commute.

I looked at the RDX, the Forester, and the Volvo S60 wagon and XC60 (SUV). I'd like her to get a GTI; but I think she wants an upgrade in size and that's not enough. The XC60 might be too big. The others seem just about right size wise. I like the Forester, but I think it really does need the XT model drivetrain to be a great vehicle. It's probably a couple hundred pounds heavier than the Legacy and the 2.5 with CVT seems taxed like an overage fighter in the 12th round. The 2.0 turbo felt good and it seemed to ride and handle better with the XT fixings; perhaps stiffer chassis/suspension tuning?. With navigation, it's stickering at 36.6K though! Yikes! If she could get it for 33K maybe......

The Acura's are nice enough and there must be a reason SUV's have kept them in business because their cars are lackluster. I'm not sure I can trust Volvo's reliability, as they were married to Ford for awhile, and I'll have to check how they did in the latest CR annual recaps. The Q5 is very nice but IMO overpriced; just like most SUV's.

roadburner

abacomike said:

stickguy said:

Mike, I feel for you. Being a caretaker is tough. Sadly, unless nature resolves the situation, people in your place reach a point of having to seriously consider a facility. And often it is as much about your health as his. If it becomes too much for you to handle, does neither of you any good.

Terrible situation though. You have certainly gone way above the call of duty it seems.

There isn't anything more I can do.  As it is, my entire life is devoted to someone who can't remember what he had for dinner last night or where I took him.  Truly a shame.

You have to take care of yourself, my friend. You are wearing yourself down performing tasks for your father- tasks that trained caregivers need to be doing. Assisted living is really the only answer. My mother didn't want to go either, but it was either that or my sanity/job/family. I know you love your father- there's no doubt about that; but he needs to be somewhere better suited for his condition.

driver100

roadburner said:

abacomike said:

stickguy said:

Mike, I feel for you. Being a caretaker is tough. Sadly, unless nature resolves the situation, people in your place reach a point of having to seriously consider a facility. And often it is as much about your health as his. If it becomes too much for you to handle, does neither of you any good.

Terrible situation though. You have certainly gone way above the call of duty it seems.

There isn't anything more I can do.  As it is, my entire life is devoted to someone who can't remember what he had for dinner last night or where I took him.  Truly a shame.

You have to take care of yourself, my friend. You are wearing yourself down performing tasks for your father- tasks that trained caregivers need to be doing. Assisted living is really the only answer. My mother didn't want to go either, but it was either that or my sanity/job/family. I know you love your father- there's no doubt about that; but he needs to be somewhere better suited for his condition.

Excellent points RB. My MIL is 102! She lived in her own home, 2 story btw. cut the lawn, shovelled snow, went to the gym until she was 98. She needed 24 hour supervision so went to a home. Always wanted to get back into her own home, but just not possible. Not the best set up but the only real solution.

Personally, I would never want to impose day to day care on my children. I don't think it is fair....they should enjoy their lives as much as possible. I'd find a way so that wouldn't happen.

Mike, you are a good person to do this, and I give you a lot of credit, but, I hope you come up with a way to get through this.

houdini1

abacomike said:

stickguy said:

Mike, I feel for you. Being a caretaker is tough. Sadly, unless nature resolves the situation, people in your place reach a point of having to seriously consider a facility. And often it is as much about your health as his. If it becomes too much for you to handle, does neither of you any good.

Terrible situation though. You have certainly gone way above the call of duty it seems.

There isn't anything more I can do.  As it is, my entire life is devoted to someone who can't remember what he had for dinner last night or where I took him.  Truly a shame.

It is not unusual to see where a long term caregiver passes away before the person they are caring for. This type of thing just wears you down. Your father, if he could think rationally, would not want you to sacrifice your well being for his sake, especially when better options are available. Would you impose on your son this way?

The adjustment period for you father would be very short should he go to an assisted living facility. You could still visit him any time you wanted and even take him out for lunch, dinner, shopping, etc. if he was up for it. At least talk to some of the facilities in your area.

suydam

After a long agonizing mental struggle, I did end up having my father in a nursing home that was quite close to us. Guess what? He was so much better off there. The aides are trained, professional, and really love dealing with older people. It was a more caring and competent environment than I could provide. He lived there quite well for many years. The last 2 years of his life he lost all interest in the outside world and mainly stayed there where he was comfortable. He just passed away this January. Good luck to you, and remember that your father would not want you to sacrifice your life.

bwia

driver100 said:

stever said:

driver100 said:

How did they track you down to Edmunds though?

GM has monitored the forums for years. They signed up with the @gmcustsvc account in 2010 and several different reps have used that account to respond to people on the forums and via private message (some 4,200 posts just for that account).
GM also monitors oddball Twitter posts and the other social media outlets. Pretty impressive outreach in fact.

stever, very impressive outreach! I for one am impressed they would actually follow the forums on Edmunds, I think that is a smart move.

Yes, GM has been monitoring these forums for a long time. I remember as far back as 2010 when there were GM Customer Service people monitoring all GM forums. In most cases you could ask them a question directly on the forum and they would provide all kinds of services, for example, electronic tech support and direct contact with servicing dealer and offers to do the research to satisfy the customer.
Here is an example of that exchange in a Buick LaCrosse forum:

•edrollins Posts: 4
December 2012

Just got a 2011 lacrosse csx they tell me just push the fog lamp button when the lights are on and in auto they will always come back on.
Guess what they do not.. If i shut the car off and turn it back on with in 30 sec they do but if i go in the house or store work when i come back out turn on the car just the headlights come on. Think it's cool how you see the headlights go through there test by moving right to left i see them on my garage door. What i'm trying to find out should they come on after doing what i'm told about pushing the button when the lights come on Thanks

•gmcustsvc Posts: 4,208
December 2012

Good morning and congratulations on your 2011 LaCrosse! We hope you're enjoying your vehicle so far!
In regards to the fog lamps, if the fog lamps are turned on while the exterior lamp switch is in the AUTO position, the headlamps come on automatically (p.6-5 in the manual). Looking at the section on the automatic setting for headlamps, it does not seem to affect the fog lamps.

If you do have further questions about your new vehicle, we'd all be happy to help!

All the best,
Sarah
GM Customer Service

[Deleted User]

andres3 said:

nyccarguy said:

Sales Story -

My sister bought a 2015 Subaru Forester XT Touring today. Her friend works in corporate & set her up with some sort of friends & family deal. I don't know th exact numbers, but the car has a sticker price of $34K & change. She got it for $31K & change. Nice car. White/Black Leather, big sunroof, heated leather seats, turbo motor.

She traded in her 2007 Honda Accord EX-L V6. Black with Tan guts. 94K miles. She got $8K for it.

That's 2 Subarus in the family now. Hers has a lot more stuff than mine. It should, it stickered for $9K more.

NICE! I think I might have my wife upgrade her '07 Civic EX Sedan soon so I can use it as my very long commute beater. After all, it just had to have its 2nd car battery changed out; which solved the KEY FOB sensing issue; how unreliable of Honda. LOL. We paid Honda for their high priced battery and installation because it comes with an 8 year warranty. When I got the S4 as a daily driver I had a relatively short commute.

I looked at the RDX, the Forester, and the Volvo S60 wagon and XC60 (SUV). I'd like her to get a GTI; but I think she wants an upgrade in size and that's not enough. The XC60 might be too big. The others seem just about right size wise. I like the Forester, but I think it really does need the XT model drivetrain to be a great vehicle. It's probably a couple hundred pounds heavier than the Legacy and the 2.5 with CVT seems taxed like an overage fighter in the 12th round. The 2.0 turbo felt good and it seemed to ride and handle better with the XT fixings; perhaps stiffer chassis/suspension tuning?. With navigation, it's stickering at 36.6K though! Yikes! If she could get it for 33K maybe......

The Acura's are nice enough and there must be a reason SUV's have kept them in business because their cars are lackluster. I'm not sure I can trust Volvo's reliability, as they were married to Ford for awhile, and I'll have to check how they did in the latest CR annual recaps. The Q5 is very nice but IMO overpriced; just like most SUV's.

You should be able to negotiate that XT for 2% under invoice or lower.

bwia

Whoopi, I finally got the HTML color fonts to work with the help of this website. You learn something new every day http://www.htmlgoodies.com/tutorials/colors/article.php/3479011

bwia

abacomike said:

I took Dad to the Dermatologist yesterday. He did 3 biopsies, two of which he is sure are cancers.  I have to clean the sites and apply Vaseline twice a day.  One of them - on his right hip, will need surgery and stitches.  It seems this never ends - it will take an entire day for that surgical procedure.  In the last two weeks, I took him to the dentist, the urologist, an ENT physician to pull out enough earwax to manufacture 2 candles, his primary care physician for his physical and on Tuesday, I need to get him to the Podiatrist for problems with his feet.

What to do?  What to do?
(

Mike, I feel your pain. End of life caregivers are perhaps the most underappreciated class in America. The emotional and physical toll is more than some can handle and that is why nursing homes are an essential part of the mix. No longer can the aged depend on their extended family to provide this specialized care.

For example, my aunt, who is blind, lost both of hers legs to Type II diabetes. Like many, she did not want to give up her house and move to a elder care facility. Eventually she came around and is relatively content with her new living arrangements at a nursing home. For you, I would strongly suggest you look into a new home for your father. As a veteran, he will be taken care of with dignity at a home that is well suited for caring for the old and infirmed.

carnaught

Having gone through it with in-laws that were very close, I totally agree with a retirement home or assisted living for an elderly parent. At first, their extreme resistance may make you feel guilty, but once the person gets used to it, which occurs in relatively short order, the situation is beneficial for all concerned.

stever

Between all the activities and chatting with her tablemates before and after meals, it's gotten downright difficult for me to reach my mom by phone anymore in her assisted living facility.

explorerx4

@bwia,
w3schoolsdotcom is a really good place to research computer languages.

stickguy

Andres, how about a Mazda CX-5? nicest driving CUV (sportiest, for sure). Reasonably quick with the 2.5 (certainly faster than a Civic!). and can be had with lots of goodies if desired. Perfect size IMO.

andres3

stickguy said:

Andres, how about a Mazda CX-5? nicest driving CUV (sportiest, for sure). Reasonably quick with the 2.5 (certainly faster than a Civic!). and can be had with lots of goodies if desired. Perfect size IMO.

I'll consider it. I know she wants V6-like power though; which usually means a forced induction 4 cylinder or actual V6. However, if it has a real automatic transmission that tends to be faster than CVT.

My main problem with Mazda is my brother-in-laws experience with his '09 Mazda 6. He seems to be constantly in need of spending money on that thing. Suspension, axle, odd tire wear and many other issues (I think he had to replace his brake calipers too). Granted, it's old in mileage being over 100K, but still! It's been the most expensive car to maintain by far out of our immediate family for recent model vehicles. Maybe the mechanic shop he's using is tricking him, but it's Bob Bowen and they do back their work with a very long warranty (I think it just went up to 3 year 36K from 2/24K which is already high). Also, a friend of my wife said her Mazda 3 had a few too many issues for her taste (this was around '07 or '08 probably). They used to have a 4/50K warranty and when it went down to 3/36 I am still scared away. I know it's a sample size of 1 (maybe 2 because he had a Mazda before that was better but not stellar).

She does want to try something different out of the Honda family however; so that's a factor. Definitely won't get another Honda, might get an Acura.

stickguy

well, speaking from experience (owning one) if you want something not too large, but plenty fast, with rock solid reliability, the RDX is a fine choice. It goes.

the 2016 upgrades are quite nice too, especially the interior and infotainment system.

driver100

bwia said:

driver100 said:

stever said:

driver100 said:

How did they track you down to Edmunds though?

GM has monitored the forums for years. They signed up with the @gmcustsvc account in 2010 and several different reps have used that account to respond to people on the forums and via private message (some 4,200 posts just for that account).
GM also monitors oddball Twitter posts and the other social media outlets. Pretty impressive outreach in fact.

stever, very impressive outreach! I for one am impressed they would actually follow the forums on Edmunds, I think that is a smart move.

Yes, GM has been monitoring these forums for a long time. I remember as far back as 2010 when there were GM Customer Service people monitoring all GM forums. In most cases you could ask them a question directly on the forum and they would provide all kinds of services, for example, electronic tech support and direct contact with servicing dealer and offers to do the research to satisfy the customer.
Here is an example of that exchange in a Buick LaCrosse forum:

If you do have further questions about your new vehicle, we'd all be happy to help!

All the best,
Sarah
GM Customer Service

Their customer service reps have learned a lot about dishwashers, various waxes available, cell phones, and the advantages of retirement homes.

fezo

Indeed.

I don't want to be hearing horror stories of Mazda ownership! My 6 took work that was likely why driver wants new cars - there developed over time signs that the original owner didn't take care of it.

My theory on the 5 is that the original owner could create too much damage. It barely had 20K on it. I've put about 1,200 on it.

I figured out why it looked narrow in those pictures - it is narrow. Well, like a 3 but you expect more width to go with the greater length - and height - but no. It's great for anything I'm likely to do. Doesn't fly like the old 6 but doesn't embarrass itself in the least and is very comfy and handles snaky roads better that anything called a minivan has any right to.

roadburner

My 2007 MS3 had several issues prior to 70K miles, and all but one was covered under warranty. Reliability over the subsequent 82K miles has been stellar. Today I took it on a 200 mile round trip at an average of 80 mph.The car is tight and smooth with no rattles or trim bits falling off. The interior has actually aged better than that of my son's X3- although his truck is three years older and has an additional 21K on the clock.

nyccarguy

Mike. You are in a tough spot. You do a truly amazing job with your dad. My dad has been going through this for the last few months before his mother died last week. Her wish was to stay at home. She didn't want anyone in the house with her either. He told her that if she wanted to stay at home, she needed help. He started out by getting someone in there in the afternoons & evenings. To help cook her dinner clean up from dinner and put her to bed at night. Then after she was comfortable with somebody in there during the day. He had somebody come in there at night just to watch her. She never liked the lady at night, and claimed that she was stealing things, but we knew she was sick. My grandma came to really like the woman who watched her during the day.

Your dad seems like a tough cookie. Tell him that you need someone to help you. Start out by staying there with the person and your dad. Then go out for an hour or two while he's watching TV and distracted. Try to ease him into it.

graphicguy

Mike....Bradd is right. At some point, you realize you aren't the corrrect person to take care of your Dad. Went through it for both parents. I wasn't trained to take care of them. Your Father won't remember, but explain to him you aren't qualified to meet his medical requirements and that you're getting someone whomis qualified to help him.

abacomike

BRADD & GG

He is an obsessive compulsive personality and cries like a baby if I go out to the movies.  He gets angry quickly - luckily he forgets why he got angry just as quickly.  He is very selfish when it comes to his needs but generous to a fault at times.

Right now, I am more of a nurse due to dressings and problems with his feet.  I do all the cooking, taking care of bills and paying by check, balancing checking accounts, etc.  he calls his banks and credit card.companies 2-3 times a day and drives them nuts.

Otherwise, life is a bowl of cherries.

fezo

Rb - I remember you saying all that about your Mazdaspeed. Hoping to skip those first 70K issues and be nice and carefree. It's screwed together wonderfully. If it holds up like it is it's an amazing value.

Of course that said, I've been spotting unofficial sketches of the Tesla III. If it comes in anything like the drawings I could be there. They've got it as an elongated hatchback. A sedan I could resist but this is looking like a smallish wagon. I'm a sucker for those.

roadburner

fezo- the pre-70K issues were virtually all "teething pains" that only affected the early cars. I doubt that you will have any significant issues with the 5.

fezo

Yeah, I remember that. I'm expecting the 5 to be pretty painless. It's put together as tight as any car I've ever owned and of course I maintain them meticulously. They liked the 5 so much that after MY2013 they're discontinuing them..... Go figure.

thebean

Thinking about Mike's situation with his father - in my experience, one of the most important factors in having someone with success in assisted living is having a loved one visit frequently to be sure the person is being taken care of correctly.  Those with no relatives or loved ones often get ignored by the staff.  Obviously, Mike would be doing this gladly, but if his health starts to go due to "caretaker stress", that would not be good for Dad in the facility.  So Mike, don't wait too long to explore the assisted living idea.  It would be easy for you to ignore your health due to the demands of caring for Dad.  That would make it much harder for Dad to adjust successfully if you are laid up for a period of time.

Good luck to you.  It's really a hard road you are on.

stickguy

my dad just sold his house (my mom passed away last August) and moved into a fellowship community (essentially an independent living situation with a lot of support). So much nicer not having to worry about him and the ratty old house. Should be less stress for him too.

they also have a wing of what is essentially nursing home + care, if it comes to that. So with any luck, never needs to leave the place.

thankfully he did this before he became any sort of incapacitated. That would have been a nightmare.

isellhondas

No easy answer, Mike.

We are going through much of the same right now with my 86 year old MIL but nothing as bad as what you are
going through. Hang in there!

driver100

isellhondas said:

No easy answer, Mike.

We are going through much of the same right now with my 86 year old MIL but nothing as bad as what you are
going through. Hang in there!

isellhondas said:

No easy answer, Mike.

We are going through much of the same right now with my 86 year old MIL but nothing as bad as what you are
going through. Hang in there!

Just one thought too, that may help someone who has to make a retirement home decision.

My parents were constantly having anxiety attacks or something.....one would need an ambulance and then the other would also have to go to the hospital.

My father made a decision he wanted to live in an assisted living centre, and my mother knew they couldn't go on the way they were. They stopped having to call for an ambulance, and I think the socializing with others was a big help for them. It was too difficult to socialize on their own because their friends couldn't get out, and they couldn't go too far.

Few people want to live in a retirement home if given a choice, but, sometimes it is the best solution.

isellhondas

My MIL for the most part is doing fine in Assisted Living.

She has made some friends and she gets involved with various activities, plays bingo etc.

Most of the tenents are nice but there will always be some grumpy ones that complain about everything.

And, there are the AID trucks that frequent the place and a death now and then.

Nothing I look forward to but there are worse alternatives.

abacomike

isellhondas said:

My MIL for the most part is doing fine in Assisted Living. She has made some friends and she gets involved with various activities, plays bingo etc. Most of the tenents are nice but there will always be some grumpy ones that complain about everything. And, there are the AID trucks that frequent the place and a death now and then. Nothing I look forward to but there are worse alternatives.

The toughest part of making that decision for my Dad is that he has no sense of taste or smell, is about 70% blind and 50% deaf even with hearing aids.  So he is in a dark box with no friends and few, if any, senses.  He can't play cards or watch TV.  He can walk and that is about it.  He trusts no one except for me.

We have talked about assisted living and when we do, he loses his temper, etc.  He has become so dependent on me he trusts no one else.  Not good for him and certainly not good for me.

suydam

My dad was like that too. He could not partake of any activities and had a severely limited diet. He mostly sat in a chair. Eventually he did get to know the aides and came to trust them. They took very good care of him. He was not particularly grateful. Eventually it really did become his space, and he didn't like leaving it. It was not that way at first. I feel for you.

abacomike

suydam said:

My dad was like that too. He could not partake of any activities and had a severely limited diet. He mostly sat in a chair. Eventually he did get to know the aides and came to trust them. They took very good care of him. He was not particularly grateful. Eventually it really did become his space, and he didn't like leaving it. It was not that way at first. I feel for you.

Worst is his dementia and Alzheimer's.  He can't remember much of anything.  When I take him for dinner (at least twice a week), he tells me, "...it's nice to eat out once in a while - it's been a long time since we ate out!"  It's pretty difficult.

suydam

Mine too. 

fezo

We went with that with my mom (dementia) and my FIL (Alzheimer's). No fun either way. Actually to a degree my FIL was easier because my mom was so depressed but as things progressed he'd do things like get mad, grab the keys, drive off and then forget where and who he was. We dumped the car in a hurry. Then he started to take it out on y MIL and that got him a one way ticket into the nursing home.

I wasn't there for that but my wife tells me they went like it was a visit and he was fine until he found out he was staying. He went nuts but by the time they visited him next he was introducing his wife, who he didn't recognize, to his girlfriend, another patient.

It's going to be insane no matter how you go about it. Best of luck and don't second guess yourself on any decisions. No matter what you do you will be right and wrong.

Spent a bit of time working with the (unwilling) kids in the yard. It's gone to seed as I've not been able to do things but it's way better today so we'll take that.

nyccarguy

My wife worked today.  I washed the Pilot inside & out with the kiddos.  I busted out my griot's garage random orbital & waxed the family hauler.  I'm very pleased with the results: