Stories from the Sales Frontlines

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Comments

  • mackabeemackabee Member Posts: 4,709
    Suzuki! Welcome back! How about telling us some stories from your side of the street? I hope I didn't run you off. Sometimes I can be a bit, how should I say; "abrasive"? But just getting you into the mold. Like I said before, there's a bunch of great people in these forums and we have lots of fun. We agree to disagree but in the end we all end up at the Overnight Cafe drinking a cup of Java.
    :)
    Mackabee
  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    You left out one feature of the machine. When jmonroe sits down at the terminal, a door on the side opens and out comes a tray with a complimentary cup of coffee spiked with rum. When jmonroe keys in $21,000 as an offer, the computer responds that the lowest possible OTD is $29,000. Since the quantity of rum was not enough to seduce jmonroe, he begins to key in curse words to the computer. As the computer does not digest curse words, it thanks jmonroe for agreeing to the dealer's price and instructs him to click the "ok" button and sign his name. Unfortunately, jmonroe goes insane and rams his fist and foot through the terminal. Joel rushes out, calls the rescue squad, and they take jmonroe away with a broken hand and foot. This is followed by police charges of destroying private property, endangering the lives of the personnel on the premises, and being a public nuisance. When Mrs. jmonroe receives the call from the police, she requests that jmonroe be transported from the hospital straight to the jail. She then calls the dealership, offers to pay the $29,000 requested by the computer and takes immediate delivery of the car. She will be paying cash for the car from the proceeds of her divorce settlement from jmonroe. A year later we spot jmonroe riding a bicycle on the side of the road with a pup tent strapped to his back. Moral of this story: The machine is not for SOME people.
  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    You know, some days I am really proud of you.
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    Will the machine tell you "I have a Mother Board to feed"?

    How should I know. I didn't design that beast. After hearing what 'richard' said, I ain't goin near that thing. :cry:

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • verdugoverdugo Member Posts: 2,288
    BR posted about MIT's LR3 self driving car recently. Well, sorry to say, but they didn't win. Carnegie Mellon University and their Tahoe won.

    image

    image
  • british_roverbritish_rover Member Posts: 8,502
    Yeah I saw that. My alma mater got third place so good job for them. I probably know people on the VA Tech DARPA Team.
  • mackabeemackabee Member Posts: 4,709
    Thank you! :blush:
    Mackabee
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    My alma mater got third place so good job for them.

    Congratulations but according to 'verdugo' mine got first place. :):D:)

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    Mackabee,
    Where do I go to learn how to do those little cars---emotorcons? Thanks.
  • verdugoverdugo Member Posts: 2,288
    You went to CMU too? So we beat BR's alma mater, any Stanford alumni here? :)
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    Mackabee,
    Where do I go to learn how to do those little cars---emotorcons? Thanks.

    Mack is still asleep so I'm pinch hitting for him.

    Are you serious but just in case you ain't, do this.

    Write below the "Message" box where you right your post there are a bunch of these guys down there. Place the cursor where you want to insert one, left click on the won you want and waaa laaa, it's their.

    Try it you'll love it. :):D :surprise:

    Hope you didn't mind my butting in but if you ever call me Mack, we're finished. :mad:

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    You went to CMU too?

    Yeah, but I started when it was Carnegie Tech. If I had minded my P’s and Q’s I would have been outta there before the name change in 1967 (Got out in 1968. That almost makes it sound like it was prison). That’s what happens when you join the Navy and then go to night school, but the GI Bill paid for it so I’m not really complaining. Especially not since that was the plan all along, but I didn’t know they were going to sneak in a name change on me. :surprise:

    With the bucks they won in that race ($2M), maybe they’ll let the alumni alone for a while. Who am I kidding, that wouldn’t even buy enough lab equipment for one lab. :(

    So we beat BR's alma mater,

    That ain’t hard to do. :shades:

    any Stanford alumni here?

    Who cares? :D

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • kiawahkiawah Member Posts: 3,666
    Write below the "Message" box where you right your post there are a bunch of these guys down there. Place the cursor where you want to insert one, left click on the won you want and waaa laaa, it's their.

    :) Oh my goodness, anything 2 kinda stur the pot w/richard
  • greanpea68greanpea68 Member Posts: 1,996
    Richard: :blush:

    Jmonroe: ;)

    Joel: :D

    Moooo: :shades:

    Br and LR: :)

    I would continue with the feelings but Microsoft is telling me to ease up on the emotorcon's... Go figure...
  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    Good grief. I've spent so much time watching everyone's gra---that I didn't even notice those cute critters down there! :surprise: You love driving me crazy with those homonyms, don't you? :confuse: I'll have to grin and "bear" it until I can "learn" you to "right" better. Thanks so much Ma---, err I mean jmonroe. :D
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    Oh my goodness, anything 2 kinda stur the pot w/richard

    Huh? ;)

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    I did it! :surprise: Isn't this fun? :)
  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    What state are you in---and I don't mean mental. We all "no" that "won"? :D
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    Good grief. I've spent so much time watching everyone's gra---that I didn't even notice those cute critters down there!

    That’s what we’ve been tryin to tell ya. Gramer and spelin ain’t important hear. It’s thos little ‘critters down there’. Now don’t get carried away with them like ‘greenpea’ or you’ll get a pop up box that says something like “knock it off with the emotorcons already, OK...YOU IDIOT !!!” :):D :P :blush:

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • mrsuzukimrsuzuki Member Posts: 58
    I would guess that their insurance might require them to lock them up, or they are worried about damage. I know GM always provides the cars for the shows, and then lets dealers buy them at a discount or gives extra incentives to sell them afterwords.

    :shades:
  • phinneas519phinneas519 Member Posts: 113
    Now why do you folks have to interpret this machine as so hostile? Everyone knows that buying a car should be a friendly, pleasant situation! :shades:

    That said, here's my proposal for how to "tweak" the Salestron 2000.

    Everything is fine for this customer-use terminal, but what is necessary is a person who is in charge of programming a script that allows the computer to negotiate on its own with a set parameter of limits. For example, Sludgemobile in the EX trim has an MSRP of $25,000 and the customer keys in an offer for $22,500. If the invoice is, say, $23,500 (very rough numbers - I don't make any claims for realism here!), then the computer will have a set paramter of negotiation. If the customer likes where the negotiation is going but is still low, plus or minus a certain number of dollars, then the SM will come to the console to assist the customer in closing the deal or a live technician (the same guy who programmed the paramters, maybe) will man the other end of the console in a hidden room and complete the deal with the approval or help fo the SM.

    I know, I know. It sounds messy, but who said it was a clean busines...oh wait, I went too far. :surprise: Now that's a very rough interpretation, but if you think about it and take the time to set something like this up, it is quite possible, though unlikely in our fantasy-world. Of course, there's no replacement for folks like Joel, so if the customer gets the greenlight, he/she can be sent to the F&I guy to dry some ink.

    Whatcha think?

    P.S. Richard, please forgive my conversational English and grammar. :blush:
  • kyfdxkyfdx Moderator Posts: 270,461
    Whatcha think?

    bobst is never going for that.. ;)

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  • dino001dino001 Member Posts: 6,191
    We can have an F&I machine, too. Selling that Nitrogen for $150 and nice pinstripe/paint sealant package. If you decline, it just takes you to another submenu with recycled offer until you crack. (A "Buy All" button takes you directly to paperwork, "Decline All" button takes you to another 10-minute presentation showing all horrible things that can and will happen if you don't buy extended warranty.

    It's perfect - the customer is already committed, they think they're almost there. They can see the car being washed and prepped. Yet - the F&I sales machine is relentless and loops every time you hit "Decline".

    2018 430i Gran Coupe

  • qbrozenqbrozen Member Posts: 33,804
    or a live technician (the same guy who programmed the paramters, maybe) will man the other end of the console in a hidden room and complete the deal with the approval or help fo the SM

    hahaha. So... nothing has changed except you don't meet the person face-to-face. Fabulous.

    '11 GMC Sierra 1500; '98 Alfa 156 2.0TS; '08 Maser QP; '67 Coronet R/T; '13 Fiat 500c; '20 S90 T6; '22 MB Sprinter 2500 4x4 diesel; '97 Suzuki R Wagon; '96 Opel Astra; '11 Mini Cooper S

  • phinneas519phinneas519 Member Posts: 113
    Absolutely. :D However, it beats getting a hammer on the toes.

    I think the idea is reducing the overhead by having, say 5 consoles handling the customers and avoiding paying out 5 different commissions. Plus, the scenario you described would only take place if the machine and the customer couldn't come to an agreement.

    Although for folks like Bobst, you could just have an "emergency protocol" programmed into the console to save a sale when the customer is about to walk. I'm not sure how that'd work, though...
  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    Not to worry. I can understand your literary style ten times better than jmonroe's. I thought of another addition. With the Salestron 2000 and the F&I machine suggested by Dino, we could also have stand-by robots: one named Macabee SM and one named Joel F&I. Another one for mediation (for people like jmonroe) named British-Rover and one for technical questions named Snakeweasel. Also, jipster and Inguy could be on stnad-by in a foreign country in case the customer wanted to talk with a real person who didn't have an accent---other than Southern that is. :lemon: The lemon means nothing. I just wanted to use it because yellow is my favorite color.
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    What state are you in---and I don't mean mental.

    Well, if you must no, PA. I was born and raised in the Pittsburgh area. With the exception of living in South Carolina for five years, 92’ thru 97’, I’ve been here all my life. :D

    Now, I think that period in SC is what messed me up. Even Mrs. jmonroe said she could see a change in me after we moved back to the Burg and it weren’t necessarily for the gooder, either. :confuse:

    We all "no" that "won"?

    Now your gettin it. ;)

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    However, it beats getting a hammer on the toes.

    Way ta go, all right. If you can ensure you can get rid of the physical stuff, I'm in. :):D

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    ...and one for technical questions named Snakeweasel.

    HUH ? A bean counter handling technical questions? :confuse:

    Now we're back to square one. Forget what I said in my previous post; I'm out :mad:

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • kiawahkiawah Member Posts: 3,666
    yaa...but I'm the only one on the board here now that can talk with you about gum bands and pop.

    and even the bridge to nowhere.....

    I 'rode' the streetcars when I was a kid, and worked at Forbes Field.
  • sterlingdogsterlingdog Member Posts: 6,984
    I had a reason for asking. I've put this off long enough. Sit down, bend over, and hold on to your socks. I have the same last name as YOU. To think that we were kin was a frightful expectation, but our clan never went north of Virginia, especially after THE WAR. I can understand them running you out of South Carolina---a Yankee in South Carolina and a smart a-- at that. What a disaster! :)
  • kiawahkiawah Member Posts: 3,666
    Ohhhhh..... so now the real MrsMonroe is becoming clearer
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    I 'rode' the streetcars when I was a kid, and worked at Forbes Field.

    Gee, you’re going waaay back but I like it.

    I couldn’t count how many Steeler and Pirate games I went to at that park. I never worked there but I can remember my Father talking about when he worked there as a kid.

    PNC Park is a great baseball park. It’s a shame they have a AA club playing there. :cry:

    Don’t worry about the gum bands, pop and bridge, we know what’s happenin there. :)

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • jipsterjipster Member Posts: 6,299
    Also, jipster and Inguy could be on stnad-by in a foreign country in case the customer wanted to talk with a real person who didn't have an accent---other than Southern that is.

    Thanks. I can't speak for inguy... but that's the nicest thing anybody said to me on these boards. :cry: That means you can't be related to jmonroe (i.e same last name) ;)

    My wife would love a break and have me sent off to some foreign country for awhile. As long as it isn't Iraq or Afghanistan I'm all for it. :P
    2021 Honda Passport EX-L, 2020 Honda Accord EX-L, 2011 Hyundai Veracruz, 2010 Mercury Milan Premiere.
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    I had to delete post 20741. It seems I was talking to 'kiawah' when I meant to be talking to 'richard'. :confuse:

    I have the same last name as YOU.

    Relax, that’s just my Edmunds handle. Kinda like ‘snakeweasel’ or ‘jipster’ but with more class. :D

    I can understand them running you out of South Carolina---a Yankee in South Carolina and a smart a-- at that.

    You talkin to me?

    It sure is quiet in here. The sales guys must be off forming a union. I think the talk about that Salestron 2000 scared the you know what out of em. :cry:

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • mackabeemackabee Member Posts: 4,709
    It's been quite quiet around here lately. I've been working with a young lady whose car is in our repair shop and she's looking at putting a new engine in it. Looks like a blown piston. I showed her a Mercury Sable LS, she didn't like it. Too much of an old geezer's car. Then I showed her a Focus, not sporty enough. Has to have an import and it must be under 10k. We are giving her 2k for her trade and it's paid for, it's just a matter of finding the right car. Today I thought it would happen but NO! After she realized there are not many Hondas or 'Yotas out there for under 10k and low miles she went up in price to $12,990.00 or less. I found an 2003 Corolla LE with 60k plus miles for $11,490.00 according to my used car list. Well lo and behold they're wholesaleing the car due to an airbag light on that they can't fix. :confuse: So the search continues.
    :sick:
    Mackabee
    v
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    Well lo and behold they're wholesaleing the car due to an airbag light on that they can't fix.

    I'm a high tech guy. That's an easy fix. TAKE OUT THE LIGHT BULB. :surprise:

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • british_roverbritish_rover Member Posts: 8,502
    You are over thinking it just use black electrical tape or a sharpie.
  • jescuejescue Member Posts: 521
    Very quiet here too. had a customer in with a water pump leak on a 98 Jag he bought last week. I have your import Mack. A 2003 Saab 9-3 for $11,900. Send her down and we can split the deal. ;)
  • mako1amako1a Member Posts: 1,855
    Love that FIX.

    I have a Z28 with a Pro Street engine which has no EGR. When the light couldn't find the EGR it used to say "service engine soon". It now says "Go Baby Go"

    2013 Mustang GT, 2001 GMC Yukon Denali

  • mrsuzukimrsuzuki Member Posts: 58
    They can fix airbag lights, if they left an extra $1000 cost for the new airbag and labor. That crap is expensive. My girlfriend's car has that light on, and even the beer and a buddy discount is $800.00 :cry:
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    You are over thinking it just use black electrical tape or a sharpie.

    You’re probably right. Sometimes I get carried away like that. :(

    Now for a more interesting question:

    How many of you guys even bother to look at the lights that come on when you turn the ignition switch to the on/crank position. With all of the lights who can watch to make sure all of them are working. I can’t. :confuse:

    I remember when all you had to watch for was the ALT, OIL, TEMP and BRAKE lights. That was easy, even I could do that.

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • isellhondasisellhondas Member Posts: 20,342
    Paragraphs...you really should try them some time.

    If people did take the time to read your hard to read blur of words, they should take note because you speak the truth.

    We are a nation in trouble. We have brought much of this on ourselves in our frantic zeal to spend the LEAST possible dollar for the goods we buy.

    It's already happened and few people care.
  • jescuejescue Member Posts: 521
    i thought the light back then said GEN instead of ALT. :P
  • british_roverbritish_rover Member Posts: 8,502
    Yeah I think it was 6 volt electrics too. :surprise:
  • chikoochikoo Member Posts: 3,008
    TAKE OUT THE LIGHT BULB.

    That is too much work.

    put black electrical tape on the light. You will not see it for its lifetime again ;)
  • chikoochikoo Member Posts: 3,008
    she's looking at putting a new engine in it. Looks like a blown piston.

    Which make/model is it?
  • cdnpinheadcdnpinhead Member Posts: 5,636
    Back in the days of generators, there was this thing called an ammeter on the dashboard. All the electricity in the car went through it, except the starter current. Very useful gauge. . .long gone.
    '08 Acura TSX, '17 Subaru Forester
  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    i thought the light back then said GEN instead of ALT.

    Not when you had a car that knew what was going on. ;)

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

  • jmonroejmonroe Member Posts: 8,989
    put black electrical tape on the light. You will not see it for its lifetime again

    You guys that insist on doing this must not live in states that have state inspection like PA. You'd never get away with that here. I've seen them run their hand over the gage panel and when I asked what he was doing, he said, "feeling for tape". :D

    So, I was right the first time when I said take out the bulb but I was accused of thinking too much. I had the same mechanic tell me what he can't see or feel he can't fail. Although they are supposed to know what cars have what lights. Yeah...right.

    jmonroe

    '15 Genesis V8 with Ultimate Package and '18 Legacy Limited 6 cyl

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