Edmunds Members - Cars and Conversations (Archived)

28firefighter

This was Sam's third plane trip. His first was to Philadelphia via Chicago on Southwest, second was to Cleveland via Denver also on Southwest. 

Our families are spread across the country so we want him used to flying early. 

@nyccarguy time really is flying! He looks just like you!  You look like a proud daddy. I'll try to snag a picture of Sam in his tux from the wedding and post it. 

fintail

I recall on my last flight to FRA, they tried to upsell Premium Economy for something like $350. Shocking, nobody went for it. I'd rather spend the money on the ground. $350 for a Business Class upgrade, then maybe.

suydam

Yes, Premium Econony does not get you much on domestic carriers. Maybe carriers like Norwegian and BA will force them to up their game. 

roadburner

nyccarguy said:

@explorerx4 - Mazel-Tov on your daughter's wedding!  What a Father's Day present!  Best wishes to you and your family.

@28firefighter - I'm glad you and your wife were able to experience Italy with Sam.  Sounds like a wonderful trip. When my oldest son, Andre was 8 months old we brought him to a wedding (in New Jersey, not Italy).  We had a great time & he fell asleep in his stroller with the music blaring & everything.  It is amazing how fast the time goes by.  That adorable 8 month old in a tuxedo graduated elementary school today.

Time just flies by while your kids are growing up...

abacomike

I cannot fly any more.  I have a DVT in my left leg and must take blood thinners for the rest of my life.  My ankles swell if I fly for more than a couple of hours.  Then, there's TSA at the airports which means lots of standing - another thing that I can't do any more.  I can walk quite quickly, but standing in one place with little or no movement is dangerous for me.

That's why I fly my children and grandkids here.  Besides, we have a huge swimming pool, great security, a golf course, tennis courts, basketball courts, etc., which the kids really enjoy.  But I just can't get to CA any more - 6-7 hours with layovers.

stickguy

for no particular reason, felt like posting a picture of my current foster doggie (got him Thursday, he got fixed Friday, which explains the makeshift clothing (wound licking protection).

Michaell

stickguy said:

for no particular reason, felt like posting a picture of my current foster doggie (got him Thursday, he got fixed Friday, which explains the makeshift clothing (wound licking protection).

Ouch.

Thanks for the pix; I've got a bunch of HS friends who are into rescue / foster work. Nice to see the work they do when they post to FB.

driver100

roadburner said:

nyccarguy said:

@explorerx4 - Mazel-Tov on your daughter's wedding!  What a Father's Day present!  Best wishes to you and your family.

@28firefighter - I'm glad you and your wife were able to experience Italy with Sam.  Sounds like a wonderful trip. When my oldest son, Andre was 8 months old we brought him to a wedding (in New Jersey, not Italy).  We had a great time & he fell asleep in his stroller with the music blaring & everything.  It is amazing how fast the time goes by.  That adorable 8 month old in a tuxedo graduated elementary school today.

Time just flies by while your kids are growing up...

It flies by even faster with grandkids!

Speaking of dogs, time goes fast with them too....Gig (GIGI) is 13 years old now. Still seems like a puppy, though she has got a bit smarter.

Firefighter, I give you a lot of credit, I don't know how you did it but that is why younger people have children. Enjoy this time to the max. You will have great memories.....I remember things the kids did when they were young....Over 40 years ago.

One other thought....I was about 18 years old before I was went on a plane flight.

oldfarmer50

28firefighter said:

Quick check-in here. Just returned from a trip with the wife and Sam to Italy for a family wedding. My cousin moved to Italy a few years back and met a guy from Florence. Fast forward to last year, they got engaged. Prior to us knowing we were pregnant, the wife and I had planned out 3 week long trip around Italy, France, and Germany. Once we found out Sam was coming we paired it down considerably to 7.5 days sticking to just a couple places in Italy.

We spent 4.5 days in Tuscany with day trips to the Chianti Wineries and into Florence. The wedding was held in a refurbished castle originally built around 1200. We then spent two days in Rome (which was not nearly enough time), before flying back home via London.

Trip was absolutely incredible and getting to take Sam was particularly special. It was exhausting and I need a vacation from my vacation, but still was lots of fun. Everywhere we went in Italy, the people went out of their way to accommodate us traveling with Sam - expedited boarding, security, immigration, lines for museums, waits for tables disappeared. I lost count of how many times people came up and played with him - men, women, and children. In the middle of the Sistine Chapel, Vatican Guard officers were yelling at tourists not to talk or take pictures. They caught sight of Sam and dropped everything they were doing to talk to him, point to the various pieces of art around him and make him laugh. I was floored and so grateful. It was so diametrically different from our experiences here at home.

We flew Virgin Atlantic from Seattle to London and then British Airways to Bologna, then drove to Tuscany from Bologna. On the way back we flew from Rome to London on BA again and then Virgin Atlantic from London to Seattle. Amazingly on the way out, Sam slept the entire flight (8.5 hours) and then slept half of the flight on the way home, by our own doing, to help him adjust to Seattle time.

More to come later - I'm a walking Zombie. Sam is still on Italy time and has been waking up between 1-3am for the day.

Now you know that when the kid won't go to sleep you just book an international flight.

Did anyone catch the car commercial where dad takes the baby out for a ride in the car to get him to sleep but the vehicle is so great that both the father and baby return wide awake? I think it was for Buick.

bwia

abacomike said:

Just got back from the doctor's office. Had another ultrasound. After that, the doctor looked at a carbuncle that has formed on the upper left side of the back of my neck. Very painful - almost went to the ER yesterday but decided to wait until I saw the doctor this morning. This malady occurs about twice every year in the very same place - he feels it is a cyst which should be removed by a surgeon.

Right now, I am on cephalexin (a generic form of Keflex) to kill the infection. This time, it is very, very painful. The antibiotics kill the infection (usually) and then it is difficult to find the area of the cyst again once the swelling disappears. That's all I need - another surgical procedure.

I'm telling you guys, my body is slowly but surely giving up on me. It's always something - pathetic!

Yikes - yet another malady? Mike, I've offered this suggestion before and it is worth repeating. A sea bath once or twice a week is extremely therapeutic. Try it and you will be surprised of the result. If the Miami area is too congested for you then perhaps more secluded locales in the Dominican Republic or Belize might do the trick.

driver100

Got to Hamburg....This is one incredible city. Absolutely beautiful, beautiful commercial and residential buidings, lots of parks and green space, thousands of bridges and rivers, and loads of Mercedes and almost half the taxis are Mercs.

The Hop On...Off bus is a must here, so much to see.

We have tickets for the chocolate museum on Thursday. Have to book way in advance for a tour in English. People really like this tour on tripadvisor, some said it was the best tour they had ever been on!

graphicguy

OK.....need some feedback from the peanut gallery, yet again! This has nothing to do with cars or car buying. So, skim through if you're not interested.

So a friend of mine (actually two friends as they are college friends who married each other) has been trying to set up a time for us to get together. We used to get together fairly often as his wife is a teacher and my ex was, too. So, they had lots to talk about. He and I reminisced about our college escapades, but other than that, have little in common.

Admittedly, I've been ducking him because I know what he wants to talk about. Background info on him.....dropped out of college (too much partying). But, got a decent clerical job at a local insurance company. After a dozen years, they let him go...according to him it was because of politics. I get it. That happens sometimes.

Anyway, he went on to selling for a cemetery. From what I understand, he's pretty good at it and was among the sales leaders constantly. He pitched me once and I put an immediate stop to it because I already have made those arrangements.

His boss left the company about 8 months ago due to health issues. At the time, my friend interviewed for the job, but lost out to another co-worker, who I guess had been equally successful. Not sure it matters, but his new boss is female.

That really set him on tilt, as he felt he was the better candidate. So, for a period of time, I was getting weekly, even daily phone calls listening to a barrage of his complaints, about his new boss, the President of the Cemetary, co-workers and sales people, etc.

I listened....empathized, offered generic advice. After a while, I kept making excuses why I couldn't talk to him (on another line, work, family stuff, etc). Well, none of it worked. Phone call last night from him telling me it's urgent we meet to discuss his "situation". Urgent to him...not so much to me.

In deference to how long we've known each other, I agreed to meet with him tonight. At first, he said he'd meet me at my home. Thinking in the back of my mind, I'd have to kick him out if he decided to go full "the world's against me and I can't leave until satisfied you feel all my pain" on me. I suggested we meet at a restaurant. That way, I can eat and leave.

I got the core of what the issue is. One, he's still miffed about not getting the promotion. To add to that, he hasn't met his quota for 5.5 months. Anyone who's ever in sales knows, at the end of the day (week/month/year), you have to make your number or things get hairy. I guess his dreaded boss put him on probation a couple of months ago, and it's now time to put up or shut up.

As our conversations have gone, his performance is a reflection on his boss, his co-workers, upper management, everyone but himself.

All of you know where this is going. So, let me cut to the chase. Is it better for me to be totally blunt and tell him to just do his job and quite whining? Or, do I soothe his fragile ego and tell him everything's going to be alright?

qbrozen

IMHO, its not worth telling him the truth. It won't help him and then you'll just be against him like everyone else. If you keep ducking him, eventually he'll get the hint.

BTW, how the hell does one sell for a cemetery? It isn't like the inventory is always turning over. When the spots are gone, they are gone, aren't they?

28firefighter

@graphicguy It sounds like you and this guy are not actually all that close independently, but were closer all coupled up. Right?

You also work in sales, or used to, right? Or am I making that up? I think there is middle ground here, but it errs towards the side of telling him to just do his job or find somewhere else that is a better fit for him. You could couch all of it in terms of your own sales experience and career progression so it doesn't come across as blunt and unsympathetic, but still sends a strong message to stop whining.

graphicguy

28FF....I was in sales for about 10 years, then was thrust into the dreaded Manager's role....first in Sales, but then in Marketing (what I do now).

Yes, we were friends as a couple, not necessarily individually. In conversations past, I tried to appeal to his sense of competitiveness. Don't worry about everyone else's job, just do yours! You're good at it and that's a reward in and of itself.

I do sympathize. But, I've heard it all. It's always someone else's fault he's kept from doing his job. We all know, that attitude WILL get you fired. So far, he hasn't really wanted my advice (although I've given the same advice for the last 6 months, which is ignored).

Q....I know less than nothing about the cemetery business. My personal thoughts are, it can't be that tough of a gig. I can't imagine someone shopping price for a grave sight (I dunno....maybe some do). People that contact you have a real need, and it's immediate. So, not many would be "tire kickers", per se!

Toughest part I would think would be to find the family a suitable location and whatever marker they want. Once the sale's complete, not like people would be inclined to come back asking for a refund for buyer's remorse. Can't imagine there's any warranty work involved.

Maybe I'm missing something. But, only way you fail is if you just don't engage with those who are coming to you.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. Not looking forward to this dinner with him tonight, though.

nyccarguy

Instead of empathizing with him or giving him the blunt truth, maybe suggest he start looking for a new job.  If he's good at his craft, then he can still be successful.  Just at a different company.

Mr_Shiftright

Print out this chart and give it to him:

Mr_Shiftright

Complaining is not "change".

28firefighter

Speaking of complaining not being change...

Some of you may remember that I was promoted earlier this year at my company. We recently underwent a merger and as part of that process, things have changed fairly dramatically for my team. The business focus for my organization has diametrically shifted and not in a direction that that fit with my career experience or path. I spent some time with our leadership trying to come up with a business model that could still fit the new merger strategic plan while also giving more engagement opportunities to myself and other legacy team members. It became clear about 6 weeks ago that it was not going to pan out.

I started working my network of contacts and an opportunity presented itself about a month ago to take a corporate role in my field instead of continuing to work in consulting. It will cut my travel from 80% down to about 10% with better hours, more money and better benefits. The position is remote, so we will also save on my commuting cost and time. More importantly, it will give me an opportunity to build some much needed corporate experience with a very well known, very well respected Fortune 100 company.

I put in my notice about a month ago and will be finishing my last day with my current team on Friday and starting the new gig on Monday.

I'm really excited for the new role and even more excited to be coming off the road for a while.

fintail

Only a little more than 4 months for me

I pricelined/hotwired my hotel already, as I sometimes get antsy and do things in advance, to have it long since paid for by the time I arrive. I think most hotels there give transit passes, too. I am taking a train there, so I am not far from the station, easy walk to many places. One day will be Miniatur Wunderland/Chocolate Museum, the rest will be what I like to do most, just amble around at my own pace.

driver100 said:

Got to Hamburg....This is one incredible city. Absolutely beautiful, beautiful commercial and residential buidings, lots of parks and green space, thousands of bridges and rivers, and loads of Mercedes and almost half the taxis are Mercs.

The Hop On...Off bus is a must here, so much to see.

We have tickets for the chocolate museum on Thursday. Have to book way in advance for a tour in English. People really like this tour on tripadvisor, some said it was the best tour they had ever been on!

jmonroe

@28firefighter: Congrats on the new job. Having to travel about 80% of the time would have killed that kind of a job for me. That is way too much of that. I guess you will now have much more time to spend with the family, which is the way it should be when you are just getting your life started with that.

@graphicguy: I don't have much to say about your situation but I can understand that you are being put on the bad side of it. The only thing I can say is, go to dinner with this friend tonight but make it clear that this is the last time you are going to put up with his griping. Knowing a little bit about you, I think you have also come to this conclusion.

Good luck to both of you guys.

jmonroe

driver100

Mr_Shiftright said:

Print out this chart and give it to him:

Love that chart.
Like they said in my entrepreneur course: If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always got. In other words nothing will change. I sympathize with the guy, I have been in that situation many times. Coaching him doesn't help, he doesn't want to listen.

The guy is draining you of your time and energy. A friendship means you both benefit from it, in this case you aren't benefitting.

Tell him you are busy at work, make excuses not to meet. You are getting nothing from this supposed friend, and he isn't benefitting........He is getting a shoulder to cry on. Friendships change over time, at one time the friendship made sense, but now you have very different lives.......let it go, as nicely as possible.

roadburner

graphicguy said:

28FF....I was in sales for about 10 years, then was thrust into the dreaded Manager's role....first in Sales, but then in Marketing (what I do now).

Yes, we were friends as a couple, not necessarily individually. In conversations past, I tried to appeal to his sense of competitiveness. Don't worry about everyone else's job, just do yours! You're good at it and that's a reward in and of itself.

I do sympathize. But, I've heard it all. It's always someone else's fault he's kept from doing his job. We all know, that attitude WILL get you fired. So far, he hasn't really wanted my advice (although I've given the same advice for the last 6 months, which is ignored).

Q....I know less than nothing about the cemetery business. My personal thoughts are, it can't be that tough of a gig. I can't imagine someone shopping price for a grave sight (I dunno....maybe some do). People that contact you have a real need, and it's immediate. So, not many would be "tire kickers", per se!

Toughest part I would think would be to find the family a suitable location and whatever marker they want. Once the sale's complete, not like people would be inclined to come back asking for a refund for buyer's remorse. Can't imagine there's any warranty work involved.

Maybe I'm missing something. But, only way you fail is if you just don't engage with those who are coming to you.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. Not looking forward to this dinner with him tonight, though.

With those kinds of individuals it's a no-win situation; he's convinced that the world is out to get him and he can't see past that. I had a high school acquaintance who would call me several times per year with his litany of woe regarding his job, his divorce, his kid... I tried to be supportive but came to dread his calls.

driver100

Congrats on the latest job ff. Good luck, but you really made your own luck. You saw what was happening and did something about it. You could have stayed and complained but, instead you got proactive. Hope it goes even better than you are expecting.

roadburner

28firefighter said:

Speaking of complaining not being change...

Some of you may remember that I was promoted earlier this year at my company. We recently underwent a merger and as part of that process, things have changed fairly dramatically for my team. The business focus for my organization has diametrically shifted and not in a direction that that fit with my career experience or path. I spent some time with our leadership trying to come up with a business model that could still fit the new merger strategic plan while also giving more engagement opportunities to myself and other legacy team members. It became clear about 6 weeks ago that it was not going to pan out.

I started working my network of contacts and an opportunity presented itself about a month ago to take a corporate role in my field instead of continuing to work in consulting. It will cut my travel from 80% down to about 10% with better hours, more money and better benefits. The position is remote, so we will also save on my commuting cost and time. More importantly, it will give me an opportunity to build some much needed corporate experience with a very well known, very well respected Fortune 100 company.

I put in my notice about a month ago and will be finishing my last day with my current team on Friday and starting the new gig on Monday.

I'm really excited for the new role and even more excited to be coming off the road for a while.

Congratulations! I don't regret scaling back on my hobbies and remaining in a job that allowed me to spend the maximum time with my wife and son.

imidazol97

@graphicguy

What's the going rate for psychologists and psychiatrists? From my cold, distant perception of this, it sounds like that's the job position you're serving in. Tough love needed. Preplan how to caringly indicate you have your own life and concerns that you handle yourself. Hint, hint, he can handle his own crosses himself.

stickguy

Eventually go full honesty. If nothing else, he will put you in the against pile and stop calling.

Before that, go with modest sympathy ("sounds rough") then right into the time to start fresh elsewhere speech.

Oh, guarantee you somehow get stuck with the check too!

driver100

fintail said:

Only a little more than 4 months for me

I pricelined/hotwired my hotel already, as I sometimes get antsy and do things in advance, to have it long since paid for by the time I arrive. I think most hotels there give transit passes, too. I am taking a train there, so I am not far from the station, easy walk to many places. One day will be Miniatur Wunderland/Chocolate Museum, the rest will be what I like to do most, just amble around at my own pace.

driver100 said:

Got to Hamburg....This is one incredible city. Absolutely beautiful, beautiful commercial and residential buidings, lots of parks and green space, thousands of bridges and rivers, and loads of Mercedes and almost half the taxis are Mercs.

The Hop On...Off bus is a must here, so much to see.

We have tickets for the chocolate museum on Thursday. Have to book way in advance for a tour in English. People really like this tour on tripadvisor, some said it was the best tour they had ever been on!

Fin, It is easy to get around in Hamburg. A bus pass for downtown is about 7 Euros a day. Be sure to book Miniature Wonderland and Chicopee sum in advance before you arrive. Hop On -Off Bus is a great way to see and hear about this magnificent city. Population is just 1.5 million, but it is booming.They now have cruise ships coming and they made another dock, and both are busy. Building going on everywhere, some really unique architecture. Shopping areas and downtown are bustling. So nice to walk around in the evening, get a dinner at a sidewalk cafe and nice coffee shops with really nice baked goods.

We came from Berlin to the main station and walked to our hotel. I love this city. I wonder if the place where the Beatles started is still there?

driver100

Selling cemetery plots and caskets, even selling cremations is big business these days. It requires a certain type of personality. Laughing or making inappropriate jokes is not a good idea. I don't think I could do that kind of job....too serious for me. But someone who can do it the right way would probably do very well at it.

roadburner

driver100 said:

We came from Berlin to the main station and walked to our hotel. I love this city. I wonder if the place where the Beatles started is still there?

Hamburg Beatles Clubs

dino001

28firefighter said:

@graphicguy Personally I don't think Premium Economy on the international carriers is worth it for the reasons @fintail outlined. Business on Delta would be worth it with points but not cash. 

You should call your AMEX concierge because they just revamped the business class ticket program recently and apparently there are some deals to be had.  See what they have to offer. 

I'm on the other side of this argument. I think it depends on where you are flying from. Some markets have really cheap economy tickets available, but Tampa has expensive Economy to Europe in peak season, often going for 1500-1800 dollars, month before the trip. Sometimes less, when haunted in advance, it depends a lot on the destination, so premium economy price delta is not as high, as those prices are often held across markets at much closer levels. I'm XL person, for me those extra 8 inches in pitch and three in side are huge help. It applies to European carrier Premium Economy. American flag (United, Delta) extra three-four inch pitch with exactly the same seat, is a joke.

driver100

roadburner said:

driver100 said:

We came from Berlin to the main station and walked to our hotel. I love this city. I wonder if the place where the Beatles started is still there?

Hamburg Beatles Clubs

Thanks RR, I will watch for it...at least the plaque and that street. Those must have been pretty exciting times for those guys.

oldfarmer50

B

graphicguy said:

OK.....need some feedback from the peanut gallery, yet again! This has nothing to do with cars or car buying. So, skim through if you're not interested.

So a friend of mine (actually two friends as they are college friends who married each other) has been trying to set up a time for us to get together. We used to get together fairly often as his wife is a teacher and my ex was, too. So, they had lots to talk about. He and I reminisced about our college escapades, but other than that, have little in common.

Admittedly, I've been ducking him because I know what he wants to talk about. Background info on him.....dropped out of college (too much partying). But, got a decent clerical job at a local insurance company. After a dozen years, they let him go...according to him it was because of politics. I get it. That happens sometimes.

Anyway, he went on to selling for a cemetery. From what I understand, he's pretty good at it and was among the sales leaders constantly. He pitched me once and I put an immediate stop to it because I already have made those arrangements.

His boss left the company about 8 months ago due to health issues. At the time, my friend interviewed for the job, but lost out to another co-worker, who I guess had been equally successful. Not sure it matters, but his new boss is female.

That really set him on tilt, as he felt he was the better candidate. So, for a period of time, I was getting weekly, even daily phone calls listening to a barrage of his complaints, about his new boss, the President of the Cemetary, co-workers and sales people, etc.

I listened....empathized, offered generic advice. After a while, I kept making excuses why I couldn't talk to him (on another line, work, family stuff, etc). Well, none of it worked. Phone call last night from him telling me it's urgent we meet to discuss his "situation". Urgent to him...not so much to me.

In deference to how long we've known each other, I agreed to meet with him tonight. At first, he said he'd meet me at my home. Thinking in the back of my mind, I'd have to kick him out if he decided to go full "the world's against me and I can't leave until satisfied you feel all my pain" on me. I suggested we meet at a restaurant. That way, I can eat and leave.

I got the core of what the issue is. One, he's still miffed about not getting the promotion. To add to that, he hasn't met his quota for 5.5 months. Anyone who's ever in sales knows, at the end of the day (week/month/year), you have to make your number or things get hairy. I guess his dreaded boss put him on probation a couple of months ago, and it's now time to put up or shut up.

As our conversations have gone, his performance is a reflection on his boss, his co-workers, upper management, everyone but himself.

All of you know where this is going. So, let me cut to the chase. Is it better for me to be totally blunt and tell him to just do his job and quite whining? Or, do I soothe his fragile ego and tell him everything's going to be alright?

Tell him to go to work for another cemetery. The job hunt will get him out of your hair.

Michaell

@graphicguy - a tough situation to be in, for sure. Especially with someone you only know 'sorta' well. I'm sure your gut will tell you what to say (or not say)

@28firefighter - congrats on the new job! Less travel and more time with the family are always good things

Since we're sharing about stuff like this, I've got a couple of things that have come up in the last few days.

First, I reconnected with a childhood friend a month or two ago. He's been through a tough time the last year or two - lost his job (laid off), his mother (passed away) and his wife (divorce) in about a 5-6 month period. He's working on rebuilding his life, however - new girlfriend, and he's going back to school to retain for a new career.

Which is where I come in. Because of all the life changes, his credit has taken a beating, and he has asked me to cosign on his supplemental student loans. Don't know how much they are, and I'm afraid to ask as I don't want to get his hopes up. My inclination is to say no, but I want to do so in a humane way.

Second, as you all know, I received a promotion at work back in February. At the time, my boss said 'he'd take care of me' when the compensation review rolled around. Well, it's that time, and he's made comments that lead me to believe he may go back on what we informally agreed to. I did send him an email pointing out that three of my direct reports make more money than I do, and that I would hope he would do the right thing, based on my level of responsibility to the organization. His comment to that email was that, in the long run, I'll be taken care of. My feeling is that I don't have that many years of working left (15-20, depending), so I need to strike while the iron is hot.

You're all welcome to give advice, argue about advice given by others, etc.

Just needed to get it off my chest.

oldfarmer50

28firefighter said:

Speaking of complaining not being change...

Some of you may remember that I was promoted earlier this year at my company. We recently underwent a merger and as part of that process, things have changed fairly dramatically for my team. The business focus for my organization has diametrically shifted and not in a direction that that fit with my career experience or path. I spent some time with our leadership trying to come up with a business model that could still fit the new merger strategic plan while also giving more engagement opportunities to myself and other legacy team members. It became clear about 6 weeks ago that it was not going to pan out.

I started working my network of contacts and an opportunity presented itself about a month ago to take a corporate role in my field instead of continuing to work in consulting. It will cut my travel from 80% down to about 10% with better hours, more money and better benefits. The position is remote, so we will also save on my commuting cost and time. More importantly, it will give me an opportunity to build some much needed corporate experience with a very well known, very well respected Fortune 100 company.

I put in my notice about a month ago and will be finishing my last day with my current team on Friday and starting the new gig on Monday.

I'm really excited for the new role and even more excited to be coming off the road for a while.

That's great, way to land on your feet.

Me I have about a week left before full retirement from my second job. Quit farming for the most part last fall.

I'm looking forward to a new career as a mattress tester.

explorerx4

I'm pretty sure I took this picture from the Energy Bunker.

pensfan83

@28firefighter congratulations on the new gig, sounds like it's going to be a better fit for you and your family. Less travel, more money, and more family time are all pluses.

@graphicguy tough situation for you, it sounds like you're going to be expected to be a shoulder to vent on but you have little interest in doing that and I think that's the right approach. The only person that can improve the situation is your friend by either focusing on his performance and waiting for another opportunity in his current role or looking for a new employer where he feels he can better use his talents.

@Michaell I'm in the same situation. Being relatively new I probably have not shared that my current boss is retiring June 30th and I was promoted to her position about 3 weeks ago. When I accepted the position I did so without financial gain because of where I was in my current salary grade; since I overlapped the start of the salary grade I was sliding into I didn't qualify for any sort of increase in financial compensation. My new manager, who I have a good relationship with, tried to get an exception approved but having just realigned some of our business lines the new LOB exec wouldn't approve. My new boss let me know he would get me half of what he was planning to give me now at mid-year and the remainder at year end, along with any incentive payout earned...nothing formal but I trust him We both lamented the fact a Fortune 200 company treats its own employees in that way but as a hiring manager myself in my current, soon to be former role I anticipated that might be coming....that's as much venting as I'll do on the subject. Like you I want to strike quickly but I'm locked into my current role for minimum of a year, unless I look externally which is always a gamble.

oldfarmer50

So now we have to have video recording in all car test drives? In this story somebody isn't telling the truth.

http://www.berkshireeagle.com/stories/great-barrington-car-salesman-accused-of-groping-female-customer-during-test-drive,510969

tbirdmarco

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M7nV6v6AEbs

abacomike

graphicguy said:

OK.....need some feedback from the peanut gallery, yet again! This has nothing to do with cars or car buying. So, skim through if you're not interested.

So a friend of mine (actually two friends as they are college friends who married each other) has been trying to set up a time for us to get together. We used to get together fairly often as his wife is a teacher and my ex was, too. So, they had lots to talk about. He and I reminisced about our college escapades, but other than that, have little in common.

Admittedly, I've been ducking him because I know what he wants to talk about. Background info on him.....dropped out of college (too much partying). But, got a decent clerical job at a local insurance company. After a dozen years, they let him go...according to him it was because of politics. I get it. That happens sometimes.

Anyway, he went on to selling for a cemetery. From what I understand, he's pretty good at it and was among the sales leaders constantly. He pitched me once and I put an immediate stop to it because I already have made those arrangements.

His boss left the company about 8 months ago due to health issues. At the time, my friend interviewed for the job, but lost out to another co-worker, who I guess had been equally successful. Not sure it matters, but his new boss is female.

That really set him on tilt, as he felt he was the better candidate. So, for a period of time, I was getting weekly, even daily phone calls listening to a barrage of his complaints, about his new boss, the President of the Cemetary, co-workers and sales people, etc.

I listened....empathized, offered generic advice. After a while, I kept making excuses why I couldn't talk to him (on another line, work, family stuff, etc). Well, none of it worked. Phone call last night from him telling me it's urgent we meet to discuss his "situation". Urgent to him...not so much to me.

In deference to how long we've known each other, I agreed to meet with him tonight. At first, he said he'd meet me at my home. Thinking in the back of my mind, I'd have to kick him out if he decided to go full "the world's against me and I can't leave until satisfied you feel all my pain" on me. I suggested we meet at a restaurant. That way, I can eat and leave.

I got the core of what the issue is. One, he's still miffed about not getting the promotion. To add to that, he hasn't met his quota for 5.5 months. Anyone who's ever in sales knows, at the end of the day (week/month/year), you have to make your number or things get hairy. I guess his dreaded boss put him on probation a couple of months ago, and it's now time to put up or shut up.

As our conversations have gone, his performance is a reflection on his boss, his co-workers, upper management, everyone but himself.

All of you know where this is going. So, let me cut to the chase. Is it better for me to be totally blunt and tell him to just do his job and quite whining? Or, do I soothe his fragile ego and tell him everything's going to be alright?

I'd tell him to "Ship up or Ship out!"  It might allow him to get the idea that you are not going to allow his whining and complaining to get to the point where you want to end your friendship with him.  "Either get a hold of yourself or look to someone else to whine and complain to!"  That's my suggestion.  

stickguy

michael, the job thing, well, I have heard that "get taken care of down the line" a few times at my company. The last few iterations, as we keep getting bought out of spun off.

for the friend, do not, under any circumstances, cosign on those loans. No way, no how. Heck, don't do it for your kids. you can be stuck with them for life. If you want to help, just loan him money (and don't expect to ever see it back! but at least the IRS won't stalk you)

28firefighter

@michaell - I 100% agree with @stickguy. Cosigning loans are always risky, but student loans are especially brutal and cannot be discharged even in bankruptcy.

oldfarmer50

,

Michaell said:

@graphicguy - a tough situation to be in, for sure. Especially with someone you only know 'sorta' well. I'm sure your gut will tell you what to say (or not say)

@28firefighter - congrats on the new job! Less travel and more time with the family are always good things

Since we're sharing about stuff like this, I've got a couple of things that have come up in the last few days.

First, I reconnected with a childhood friend a month or two ago. He's been through a tough time the last year or two - lost his job (laid off), his mother (passed away) and his wife (divorce) in about a 5-6 month period. He's working on rebuilding his life, however - new girlfriend, and he's going back to school to retain for a new career.

Which is where I come in. Because of all the life changes, his credit has taken a beating, and he has asked me to cosign on his supplemental student loans. Don't know how much they are, and I'm afraid to ask as I don't want to get his hopes up. My inclination is to say no, but I want to do so in a humane way.

Second, as you all know, I received a promotion at work back in February. At the time, my boss said 'he'd take care of me' when the compensation review rolled around. Well, it's that time, and he's made comments that lead me to believe he may go back on what we informally agreed to. I did send him an email pointing out that three of my direct reports make more money than I do, and that I would hope he would do the right thing, based on my level of responsibility to the organization. His comment to that email was that, in the long run, I'll be taken care of. My feeling is that I don't have that many years of working left (15-20, depending), so I need to strike while the iron is hot.

You're all welcome to give advice, argue about advice given by others, etc.

Just needed to get it off my chest.

First, cosigning a loan for a friend will cost you money and a friend. Direct him to other sources of help.

Second, are you satisfied with your job at your current salary? Can you do better elsewhere? Because either your boss can't give you a raise or doesn't want too. Either way I don't see you getting one soon. If I'm reading this right you are getting less than some of your subordinates. No manager would want that to continue very long.

Something doesn't make sense.

ab348

Michaell said:

Second, as you all know, I received a promotion at work back in February. At the time, my boss said 'he'd take care of me' when the compensation review rolled around. Well, it's that time, and he's made comments that lead me to believe he may go back on what we informally agreed to. I did send him an email pointing out that three of my direct reports make more money than I do, and that I would hope he would do the right thing, based on my level of responsibility to the organization. His comment to that email was that, in the long run, I'll be taken care of. My feeling is that I don't have that many years of working left (15-20, depending), so I need to strike while the iron is hot.

Been there, done that.

I thought that sort of attitude was unique to my boss but apparently not. In my case I got a promotion but no bump in pay to go with it. It turned out that was this guy's pattern. There were several of us in the same boat who were doing more with no more compensation, although there were others who did get raises - naturally, those who were not getting raises all felt those were undeserved. None of us could figure out what made him feel this way for the longest time. Eventually we realized that he only valued certain types of skills - in this case, marketing and PR - and really didn't have much of an idea what the rest of us did or why it was important to him.

It took a few years for me to finally get my pay bump. For others it took even longer. It was a matter of finally convincing him of the value of what I did. It didn't matter about what others made or fairness or what was the right thing for him to do organizationally. I never understood how he could ignore that but he acted like it was coming out of his own pocket. Glad I am gone from there.

Michaell

Thanks, guys!

I've already decided to say no to the friend. Just hard, because I'm a generous person by nature.

Regarding the promotion and raise, I really think my boss wants to do more, but corporate politics are in the way. Given that I have 9 direct reports and a finite budget to distribute as raises, I feel for my boss, as I'm sure he is in the same situation.

Hoping that I'll get a series of above average bumps over the next year or two.

@oldfarmer50 - I'm not inclined to look for another job. This one is such a good fit for my experience, skills and passion. Just a wee bit frustrating to manage folks who are paid better while having less responsibility.

sda

28firefighter said:

@michaell - I 100% agree with @stickguy. Cosigning loans are always risky, but student loans are especially brutal and cannot be discharged even in bankruptcy.

I also agree not to cosign those loans and if you do, consider them yours as you will end up being responsible for the loan. My SIL, with a heart of gold, helped her best friend out of a bind, loaned her thousands, and now that friend doesn't speak to her nor has any intention of making good on the loan.

abacomike

Just finished reading the new "Car and Driver" issue.  They had a big review of the BMW 740i (2016) which they've been driving for almost two years.  Mixed reviews - especially the comments about comparisons with a Rolls Royce.  Definitely worthwhile read if you want an update on the changes they feel BMW is making in the ride and handling of their cars - less driver inspired, etc.

fintail

Sounds fun. I am staying a block or two from the station, and I think the hotel provides a transit pass. I've read about online booking, will definitely do that, and for the former, go early to avoid the hordes.

It's always a breath of fresh air to spend some time in a city that is relatively clean, and has working mass transit infrastructure.

driver100 said:

Fin, It is easy to get around in Hamburg. A bus pass for downtown is about 7 Euros a day. Be sure to book Miniature Wonderland and Chicopee sum in advance before you arrive. Hop On -Off Bus is a great way to see and hear about this magnificent city. Population is just 1.5 million, but it is booming.They now have cruise ships coming and they made another dock, and both are busy. Building going on everywhere, some really unique architecture. Shopping areas and downtown are bustling. So nice to walk around in the evening, get a dinner at a sidewalk cafe and nice coffee shops with really nice baked goods.

We came from Berlin to the main station and walked to our hotel. I love this city. I wonder if the place where the Beatles started is still there?

fintail

That's not a bad line of thought for big people. I am 6'1" and in the 200 neighborhood now - not a waif but not gigantic, even at that, normal seats can be pretty confining. Someone more massive than I might fund the benefit with more space, especially on a 10 hour flight.

dino001 said:

I'm on the other side of this argument. I think it depends on where you are flying from. Some markets have really cheap economy tickets available, but Tampa has expensive Economy to Europe in peak season, often going for 1500-1800 dollars, month before the trip. Sometimes less, when haunted in advance, it depends a lot on the destination, so premium economy price delta is not as high, as those prices are often held across markets at much closer levels. I'm XL person, for me those extra 8 inches in pitch and three in side are huge help. It applies to European carrier Premium Economy. American flag (United, Delta) extra three-four inch pitch with exactly the same seat, is a joke.

pensfan83

Michaell said:

Thanks, guys!

I've already decided to say no to the friend. Just hard, because I'm a generous person by nature.

Regarding the promotion and raise, I really think my boss wants to do more, but corporate politics are in the way. Given that I have 9 direct reports and a finite budget to distribute as raises, I feel for my boss, as I'm sure he is in the same situation.

Hoping that I'll get a series of above average bumps over the next year or two.

@oldfarmer50 - I'm not inclined to look for another job. This one is such a good fit for my experience, skills and passion. Just a wee bit frustrating to manage folks who are paid better while having less responsibility.

Sadly that's common in the corporate world now, at least in my particular industry. The running joke at my company is that it would be better to resign and then apply from the outside since external candidates can receive far more attractive offers for the same job as someone that has put in the time and effort on the inside.